LF, 

thank you.

half-destroyed and dead-eyed,
teeth red and white and sharp
and spitting up the blood of saints
leaving behind a holiness
you were never meant for,

ill-starred brick homes
and their collapsing ceilings,
and the remnants of boyhood
forgotten in its ruins;
splintered flesh stitched
together to feign wholeness,
the hollow melody of “broken”
unwavering.

the ever-present cauterization
of “never enough” 
chewing through flesh,

the eternal maxim
of a heart’s collapse
for the burdensome coward:

“inferiority
is an inevitability,”

a life as
the dirt
on the floor 

of a museum,
surrounded 
by masterpieces.

i dream of 

fists hitting jaws,

knives between ribs, 

the hollow crack

of a broken nose-

forehead to cartilage. 

there is a calm

nestled in my chest,

at peace with it all:

a nature rooted

in pacifism

spoiled

with daydreams

of violence.