assorted poems
...
you only kissed me once that night
but i remember still
your hands, your lips, your eyes
your pretty lies
the way you held me in your arms until
you walked into the morning light
and didn't say goodbye
it has been months
i still don't understand
how to escape this agony i'm in
your touch is burned into my skin
your voice is in my head
your body absent from my bed
how to withstand
this burning need and not give in
how to let go of what you never had
6-02-2020
exposed
the world is loud
it is a flood
it hurts like an assault
my eyes burnt out by the sun
burnt to the ground my heart
nowhere to run
the promises of paradise dissolved
into the storms
that rose up from my soul
they drowned me
they took me whole
and blew my sanity away
along with everything i know
or thought i knew that day
and the fever just kept rising
electric, volatile
energising
I’m bursting at the lightest touch
and colours are too bright
and everything’s too much
I am a wound
uprooted and disturbed
I am a nerve connected to the world
I am exposed
18-11-2019
chrysalis
gestating
in a swirl of random things
mismatched furniture
half filled suitcases
empty boxes
bits and pieces of the old life
I’m constructing a new one
I am building my body over
away from the crowd
out of sight
my future form lies in wait
dusty vinyl plates
worn out blankets
faded photographs
refrigerator magnets
clothes on hangers
I arrange them
carefully
one by one
every corner
every shelf
not a single half-forgotten thing
sitting in a cupboard or under the bed
it all goes
I tear them apart and reassemble
stitch them into the fabric of my new world
my cocoon wrapped tight around me
its weight is comforting
promising to make me someone
I can now become
16-08-2019