One in Three Million

   "Okay, kiddos, and right behind this door is the infamous AR department. All the offices, monitoring stations, and even, if you hike up enough stairs,"
   "Or take an elevator," Mackey whispered. Kay sushed him
   "You can even reach the Universal Courtroom, which even I haven't seen."
   "She says that like its a big deal. It's not like anyone's seen it. I doubt the damn thing even exists."
   "Shut up, Mackey!"
   "Because the courtroom is highly classified and not open to the public. Any questions?"
   The peppy tour guide stopped talking and looked around for questions. Her too-blonde hair was piled in elaborate curls, which were far to extravagant for her position, and her watery blue eyes glanced about awkwardly. She was trying to stay cool while entertaining a group of students far too uninterested for her comfort.
   There were no questions. There are never questions.
   "So...We all know what the AR, or Alternate Reality, department is responsible for, right?" She began talking again, but the class still showed little to no sign of interest.
   "Aren't the museum field trips supposed to happen in year four, or something? Aren't we a bit old?"
   "Give her a break, Mackey."
"He's not wrong though,"
   "Julia!" Kay hissed just as the tour guide looked over to glare at them.
   "So, I'm sure that by now we all know what the AR does. Anyone care to share?" The tour guide really was painfully optimistic, with her fixed smile and cerulean blue suit. The suit gave her a harsh outline against the sterile, white walls. It was as if someone had tried to artistically color the scene by only using colors sparingly, but had just made things awkward and hard to follow.
   An impressively tangible silence stretched on for minutes until Kay's hand shot up, and she began to talk even before the tour guide acknowledged her.
"The AR department is the branch of government that is responsible for monitoring the other realities. The existence of the other realities is only known to people in this reality, and we consider it our duty to use classified technologies and processes to keep track of these other planes of reality, even though it is not possible to make contact with the other realities."
The tour guide nodded, confused as to how to continue. Kay had eaten up part of her planned itinerary, and she now mentally scrambled to rework her lineup. While she was thinking, and while the class of unamused teenagers stood in bored silence, a whispered argument began on the back corner. Kay and Mackey rapid-fire argument increased in pace and volume until it ended in Kay slapping Mackey as Julia tried not to laugh, only to have Mackey speak up anyway.
   "So, lady, why aren't we allowed to go inside."
   "Oh. Well it's as the young lady next to you—"
    "That's Kay, she's my sister."
   "—said. Oh, well then." The tour guide was clearly confused, and Mackey almost felt bad for her.
   "Still, it's like she said, all the AR tech is highly classified."
   "But why? It's not like they even know we're monitoring them, and, I dunno, it would probably be really educational to learn more than the standard four sentences that have been in every textbook I have ever owned. Like, there's got to be more than ' There are 3,437,006 universes, 502,448 with life, 87,998 with more than single cell life, 11,701 with sentient life, a total of 200 sentient species—most commonly humans, 69 universes with more than one species of advanced life, 1 with seven different ones, 8 universes who's advanced life has elevated capacity, and 1 aware universe, that being our own. Everybody born on Terra Prime is born inexplicably knowing these numbers as fact. Even though there can be no travel between different realities, it is our duty as the Aware to monitor what we can. Through monitoring other realities congruent to, but not the same as, our own can greatly improve our knowledge of ourselves, and our environment.' And then there will be some information on the war-stricken Seventh Reality, the species with elevated capacity, and where to find a complete list of all the realities and their characteristics. But even if you look at those it's just basic stats. There has got to be more than that, like honestly I feel gipped. There's no way I can deny that I really do know these things, but how can I know that the released info is the truth, how can I really be sure of all this if you guys won't share, how can I?"
   Silence. Everyone who had heard the speech was now looking at Mackey in stunned silence. The teachers and chaperones, the students, even the tour guide. Mackey adamantly maintained eye contact with the woman leading the tour, even as she grew increasingly anxious. Not one particle of Mackey was backing down from this question. No force, external or internal was going to cause any shift in his resolve, none. This had been his plan since they had entered the facility, and in all honesty, it had been his plan since year four when he had learned that in year eleven every student gets to visit the International Scientific Observation Organization headquarters. It's not like Mackey had something against accepting the state-approved and authorized facts as the one and only truth, it's just that Mackey had a problem with anyone, ever telling him anything at all, most of all when extremely interesting facts were being kept from him, and he knows they are being kept from him. It's nearly insufferable. It's so insufferable that even Kay, who finds conflict insufferable, let him go along with his eight-year-old plan to purposely throw his one and only ISOO tour into chaos.
   "Are you a Singularitist?" The tour guide asked in a cool voice. She was unexpectedly composed after so long of acting confused and skittish. The gasp that accompanied the unabashed query was collective and comical. Most people wouldn't mention something so scandalous as calmly as she had, and certainly not in a room full of children.
   "No," Mackey responded without missing a beat. Kay had felt him slip away from the moment, only to gather it back with no time to spare, "It's just that I'm just as sure that there are things I don't know as I am that there are 502,448 realities in which life succeeded in at least some form. It's crazy that planes of existence which are physically identical can be so biologically different, it really into view puts the massive amount of chance that is involved in the development life. It's crazy, man, or woman, whatever, I don't actually care at all."
   "Dude, you're rambling."
   "Yeah, I know. I'm also fidgeting like hell. So, what's it gonna be?"
   It took the guide a moment to realize that was directed to her.
   "I'm asking you to leave, that's what it's going to be."
   "Wait, seriously?"
   "Yes."
   "Well then. It was cool while it lasted, and, class, you were a stellar audience. I mean that literally and figuratively. You guys stayed quite as I gave my epic speech, and as you know, we are all technically made of stardust, and ergo, stellar. So stay stellar my friends, and I will see my way out." He started to walk away from the group, only to have his exit ruined by the unfortunate appearance of a security guard. As he was escorted away, the class could hear incessant pestering directed at the guard. Mackey was clearly thrilled at the development and determined to get as much from it as possible, despite knowing full well that this was not a Good Thing. Kay approximated that he would realize his mistakes in roughly forty-five minutes and rapidly come crashing down from his current plane of untouchable and exuberant existence to a much more frightened plane that was much more susceptible to change as a result of negative forces. Julia reckoned it would take longer. Mackey's personality was a force of nature, and it was best to let it run its natural course as much as possible.
   Julia and Kay stuck together for they rest of the tour. It doesn't matter than they always stuck together, this event was separate from the norm, and the sticking together was as much caused by a desire to avoid questions about Mackey as it was habit. Despite their efforts, the two still became a small gravitational force for the rest of the classroom. If no one was paying attention to the tour guide before, this was a entirely new level of ignorance. It was an ignorance so adroit that it avoided the notice of the adults. Because quite often, interest in one thing can be perceived as interest in another thing by adults who aren't looking too closely.
   The tour ended, predictably, in one of three gift shops.
   "Everything is merchandised, literally everything."
   "I will prove you wrong, Monica, I will do it."
   "Julia, it's just an expression."
   "Yeah, but it's really not. It's more like a dare pretending to be proper conversation. It's like a scraggly street urchin who's dressed up in fancy clothes so they can get into some high-society function. The effort is there, but obviously ill-fitting. Before you know it, our poor street urchin is gonna be discovered and thrown back into the snow. Which is what is happening right now. I am taking your verbal street urchin back where it belongs and accepting your dare."
   "What the heck, Julia."
   "That metaphor was a stretch, even for you."
   "Oh, come on. Kay, Monica, you two have known me for what, seven and four years respectively. Crazy analogies are what I do. It's a very carefully groomed idiosyncrasy. It's like one of those crazy show poodles.
   "Are you on edge, or what?"
   "I'm a bit on edge. Whenever Mackey gets like that, I feel the need to imitate it. It's probably not that best habit, but there it is."
   "He is annoyingly stressful, like seriously so."
   "You realize he has been planning that for ages. It has been his goal to show up the ISOO since he was eight. Wait, is the class leaving?" Kay looked about, distressed. Luckily, the class was spotted quickly, and the girls were able to rejoin the collective with minimal disruption.
   Exiting the building was a relief for Kay. She was reunited with her idiot of a brother and out of a place which was now permanently associated with conflict in her mind.
   "Mackey, remind me why I tolerate you?"
   "Because I'm your bro, not to mention I'm a freaking baller. I am ridiculously cool, and you've got to admit that I up your cool factor by at least fifty-six percent, maybe more."
   "I'd have to say Kay ups your cool factor. A silly kid like you probably benefits from being related to the suave goddess that is Kay."
   "Oh shut up. Aren't we older than you? And this isn't fair, because you are so biased towards Kay, due to the fact you had a crush on her in middle school, and if we are being honest, which, let's be honest, we aren't— I feel like I've created some strange paradox of honesty here— I still don't think you're quite over her."
   "You have no filter. None, at all."
   "Not really."
   "How did I get stuck with the two most distractible people in this reality. I feel like I am training hyperactive puppies," Kay groaned and rubbed her eyes. It had been a draining day. More like a draining hour and a half. Why did Mackey have to have authority issues.
   "Regardless of how much cooler I make you, Mackey, you make my life one hundred percent more stressful."
   "We should do an intensive study on the exact percentage which we each vary the aspects of each other's lives."
   "I don't think science is that advanced, dude."
   "See! That's my point, Jules, we don't know how advanced technology is, because they won't let me see what's behind those doors."
   "It's probably just boring bureaucrats, you know."
   "Whatever, Mons, just whatever."
   "Weren't we trying to figure out why Kay tolerates Mackey?"
   "Maybe we should figure out why this bus gives me a headache?"
   "Probably all the B.O. That has been absorbed by these gross sets over the years."
   "Ew, Monica, that does not help." Kay sank down into her seat as Mackey slid in next to her and Monica and Julia across the aisle. The bus started with a lurch that did nothing for Kay's growing headache.
   "I am going to sleep."
   "No you're not. The rest of the class is going to be too loud, and more importantly I am going to be too loud, so all that you will really achieve is an elevated state of exhaustion and irritation, somewhere like two point four times as so as you are now."
   "Shut it."
   "No can do."
   "Shut it." Kay said again, this time lengthening the words out. Mackey considered continuing his current course of action, but icy glares from both his other companions quickly provided the gust of wind needed to change his route.
   "Just talk to Amir, he's right in front of you."
   "Ayy, buddy!" A hand popped up from the seat in front of him, accompanying the greeting. "Check out this run I've got going here. I am crushing it!" Mackey peered around to watch his friend play his game, and, thankfully, he stayed occupied.

One in Three Million

Abby Ruth

One in Three Million

Introduction

Planes of Existance and Missuse of Statistics

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