Waking up I felt even more drained than last night. I need to pull myself together if this was all going to be worth it. Looking around I felt as if I was a stranger in my own home. I guess it's not really my home anymore since I plan to move out anyways. Getting up I go immediately grab my computer and start looking for jobs. As lame as it is I look on indeed jobs and search under psychologist, location: anywhere.  Scrolling through I see a pattern of high school consolers and clinical psychologists job offerings in hospitals and I selected all of them. I choose the best five and call each to set up an interview. The closest one is in Toronto so I schedule that one first, granted I will only be able to travel with the amount of money I have so I might as well plan to take a job that will cost as little to move up. Surprisingly enough the Toronto General Hospital had a cancellation and agreed to see me today. Grabbing all of my clothes I rush to pack while at the same time get ready. Maybe this is the door that will open once the last door has closed. I still feel that heaviness in my heart from last night but now at least my mind can think optimistically. Within two hours I'm ready and out the door. I don't bother taking any of my personal items from the apartment which I'm not sure will convey the right message. Will Trent think I'm leaving it behind because I plan on coming back or will he think it all means nothing to me. Both are untrue but I can't start going back to the same questions of thoughts of last night. 

When I arrive at the hospital it's almost 5:00pm and I'm 15 minutes early. As I walk towards the entrance I fidget with my black pencil skirt and my white button up long-sleeve shirt. It's simple and appropriate but as I come closer to the secretarially desk I begin to second guess.  

"Hello, my name is Elizabeth Masters, I have a 5:15 job interview for the psychologist position." I tell the older looking lady at the desk. She looks tired as she continuously types behind her desk. 

"Hello, room 509, tell the receptionist there who you are." She said with a monotone voice never looking up.

"Thank you, that's a great necklace by the way. Have a goodnight." I tell her as walk towards the elevator. Even though she wasn't the friendliest person it's still always nice to give a person a compliment to brighten their mood. 

When I reach the fifth floor I start to feel the butterflies in my stomach and once I find the room I really start to panic. With a deep breath I turn the handle and go inside. It's your average looking office hospital room with a beautiful blonde secretary sitting at the desk. I remember always being jealous of blonde hair as my dark brown hair never stood out from the crowed. 

"Hello, I'm Elizabeth Masters, I'm here for my 5:15 interview." I tell the blonde. 

"Hello, please take a seat they are running late today." She says with a fake smile. One of the things about having studied psychology is you can decode the people around you and what they are really feeling and most likely thinking. Her micro-facial expressions tell me that she said that with contempt as she probably views me as a threat to her beauty. She is probably use to being the most beautiful one in the room and so when she feels that position is threatening she becomes defensive and will over compensate for attention. As I take a seat I try to clear my mind. You are here for an interview, don't think about Trent and the fact that he is probably home right now, don't think about having to find a hotel tonight, just don't think. In the midst of my not thinking, the door to the office opens and an older man comes walking out followed by one of the most handsome men I've ever seen. He's tall with green eyes and a dark short cut beard. He's wearing a business suit which conveys power and confidence. His strong features outlined his determined eyes and the lack of lines around his mouth proved that he didn't do much smiling or frowning, a perfect poker face. Obviously a classic alpha male, I couldn't imagine a more textbook case. 

"Thank you for your offer Mr. Dublin, I'll run it by my business partners and get back to you when we have made a decision." The textbook alpha said. 

"My pleasure. Greatly appreciated, looking forward to hearing from you." The grey man replied with an all too hopeful tone. 

"Is there anything I can get for you sir?" The blonde asked licking her lips. 

"No thank you." The man said curtly whole looking down at his phone.

I have to admit, he would be an interesting case to analyze. 

"Alright let me know if you change your mind.

Mr. Dublin, your 5:15 interview is here." The blonde said batting her eyes. Turning his attention to me,

Mr. Dublin walked over with his hand held out. 

"Hello, you must be Elizabeth Masters. It's nice to meet you. If you wouldn't mind waiting a little bit longer, I just have to get some more things in order before you continue on to the interview." He said smiling while shaking my hand. His grip was soft and the way he slightly leaned toward me meant he classified me as a weaker female and wanted to establish dominance. 

"It's a pleasure meeting you.

Not a problem take your time." I tell him with a polite smile and a hard grip on his hand. Typical for men to always assume that a woman would have a weak handshake. It's either they shake too softly or they put too much force behind it in attempts of establishing dominance. I sit down again and smooth my hair back wishing that I had time to curl it before leaving. With it being to my waist it was more attainable being in fixed curls. 

"Mr. Dublin you should not make this young woman wait any longer. If the agreed time was 5:15 and it is now 5:40, either see her now or schedule another time to her convenience." The tall man interjected. He strode over and put himself between both of us. 

"I understand, but I still have some paper work to sort through before I can begin an interview. Our meeting went on longer than I expected." The older man stumbled to find his words.

"Our meeting was to begin at 3 and end at 4:30 giving you plenty of time to sort out the papers before your scheduled interview. I was finished at 4:30 however I do recall you wanting to go over the terms that I had already stated from the beginning. Therefore, this was your mistake and now both this young lady's and mine agendas set back." The gentleman stated, his voice was calm and collected. Mr.Dublin's took a second and then turned back to me. 

"I apologize for the inconvenience. Reschedule with the receptionist at a time better for you." He said and walked back into the conference office.

I stood there in silence from complete shock. What. The. Hell. A second ago I had a potential job, a potential new start and now I have nothing. My plans are set back, I'll have find an opening for the next interview and god knows how long that may take. My pure shock turned into rage. Who the hell does this guy think he is?! How dare he mettle in affairs that have nothing to do with him. I turn to look at him which is somewhat intimidating as he could be an easy 6' but I'm too angry to care. 

"How dare you sir. That interview involved Mr. Dublin and myself, you had no business interrupting like that. Next time you decide to make something your business I suggest you ensure that it doesn't involve another person's personal affairs." I said and stormed off. I didn't care what his reaction to my outburst was or that I just yelled at a complete stranger. Serves him right. 

Making my way back to the elevator I'm still fuming. I just wasted a whole day for nothing. I'm back to square one. Screw that guy! Just as the elevator chimes it's arrival I hear loud footsteps approaching. 

"Excuse me miss. Do not speak to me like that." The man said approaching me. I rolled my eyes and stepped into the elevator. 

"Do not mettle in my affairs, oh wait you already did when you canceled my interview." I said. 

"I did not cancel it, Mr. Dublin did." He responded in such a matter of fact way it pissed me off more. 

"You're the one who told him it's either now or another time! It wasn't any of your business! I was fine waiting for my interview but no you just had to act like a big man and assert yourself as alpha boss." 

"Miss.." 

"It's Elizabeth, stop calling me Miss."

The man paused. Pursed his lips and smiled. 

"Elizabeth, I reject how my actions have effected you. It was not my attention to ruin your plans. My name is Derek Adams, it's nice to meet you." As he held his hand to shake mine I was still irritated by his smoothness so I shook it with more force than I had Mr.Dublin. A small shock went through my nerves as soon as our hands touched but I shrugged it off as passive anxiety. I couldn't help but notice that his grip was neither rough nor gentle, it was assertive and formal.

"Well Derek, I hope you have learned from this encounter." Just at the right moment the elevator chimed and I made my exit leaving the intrusive stranger. As I continued on to the exit doors I made sure to tell the elderly receptionist another thank you and goodnight. This time she looked up and smiled as she waved me off. 

"Elizabeth, wait." I heard Derek's voice call from behind me. He's so bossy and yet he's just met me? I continued on never breaking pace. However, he caught up with me in a few quick strides. 

"I want to take you to dinner to make up for the incident." Derek asserted. 

"No thank you." I said just as curtly as he had the blonde. This made Derek pause in the midst of his step. 

"You must allow me to give you something as an offering of peace." 

"I don't have to do anything actually. Now you've already apologized in your own way, and I have other plans for tonight." Will this guy give up. Why would I go to dinner with a guy I just met, sort of. I unlocked my car and got in Derek still behind me. Before I could start up the car Derek knocked on the window. Ughhhhhhhhhh I groaned and rolled down the window slightly. 

"What Derek?" I grumbled turning on the car. 

"Have a goodnight Elizabeth." Derek said. I smiled and waved and then pulled out, happy to be rid of the hassle. Okay next move, get a hotel and forget today.

 Oh god, oh god, oh god. What did I do? I thought to myself as I drove home. Why did I do that? Why did I just break up with my long-term boyfriend who was stable, dependable, handsome and everything a girl could want. Did I make the right choice? Was it for the best? Or was he my best shot at happiness? All these questions ran through my head a mile a minute. Then I get this lump in my throat and my stomach begins to knot as these questions become the playlist of my mind. With this playlist comes a monologue of our entire relationship. We met the last year of high school and we've been inseparable since. We planned to finish university together, move in together, find careers and start a family. Now we're both 25 and had been so sure that it was our destined future. It wasn't even a month ago that we settled on baby names for our future children. So why did I just break his heart and potentially damn myself to being a spinster? It had been some time since I broke up with a guy and I now remember how afterward I'd torture myself over it and regret it. I guess this is the old routine that I had forgotten long ago. Now comes the part where I go over our break up and analyze every detail. 

"Are you serious? Please tell me this is a prank" Trent had said with a nervous smile and his eyebrows pulled together. I could always tell his true emotion through his eyebrows.

"I'm..I think...I just need time away" I had said trying to save the heart of the man I loved while at the same time breaking it. 

"What do you mean? Did I do something? Do you want to take a break?" He asked nervously pushing back his blonde hair. 

"I don't know. I mean I do know. I mean you didn't do anything wrong, you're perfect. It's me." Oh god. Did I just say that? Nice one Ellie, that's the oldest line in the book. 

"That's the oldest line in the book babe, please just tell me how you really feel, we can talk it out and I'll try to understand." Trent had said. His brilliant blue eyes looked empathetically at me but his eyebrows were still tense with panic. 

"Okay, it's that I'm not happy. I don't know why I'm not happy. I don't think it's you because I love you, I really do. But I'm just always trying to...I'm searching for something but I don't know what it is yet. I just know that I need to let go of everything I feel comfortable with." I had said so quickly that I didn't even know if he had understood it all. 

"Ellie, I want to help you. We're comfortable because we're happy, because you know you're safe with me and I won't let anything hurt you. Please baby, let me help.” Trent's eyes had begun to water and I had almost been tempted to say okay and run into his arms. Had he been right? Was I feeling this way because I knew I was comfortable and safe with him? Was it me just being irrational to the feelings of being domesticated? 

"No I can't. I love you, and that's why I have to do this. You shouldn't be with someone who isn't happy. I don't know when I'll find what I'm looking for but I know I don't want you waiting for me, please let me go." 

Trent looked at me and shoved his hands in his pockets. He looked up and blew out a big puff of air. The dark sky had brought a crisp air that I couldn't tell if I was numb from the cold or from ripping my own heart out.

"Okay. I understand. I do want you to be happy and if you need to be alone to find it then I respect that. But I will wait for you. I will continue to love you." 

Why. Why was he so understanding, so perfect. I thought he would yell at me, fight for me, show anything but an easy acceptance.

"I don't want you to" I had said. 

"I've loved you too long for it end like this. I don't want to break up but that's what you need. You don't want me to wait but that's what I need. I'll stay over at my mom's tonight and we'll figure the rest out later. I love you" 

"Okay." Was all I could have said. I didn't know how to respond. I was best to leave it at that. Or was it? Should I have fought harder to make him understand that he can't be waiting for me? We're we both just tired? So tired that we have accepted everything we could throw at each other because it's better than starting over? My head started to throb as all these questions and over thinking began to overwhelm me. Now I have to go home, to our home and pack. Just take a deep breath Ellie. Stay with facts. What's done is done. You can't go back. It's time to start something new.

 Waking up I felt even more drained than last night. I need to pull myself together if this was all going to be worth it. Looking around I felt as if I was a stranger in my own home. I guess it's not really my home anymore since I plan to move out anyways. Getting up I go immediately grab my computer and start looking for jobs. As lame as it is I look on indeed jobs and search under psychologist, location: anywhere.  Scrolling through I see a pattern of high school consolers and clinical psychologists job offerings in hospitals and I selected all of them. I choose the best five and call each to set up an interview. The closest one is in Toronto so I schedule that one first, granted I will only be able to travel with the amount of money I have so I might as well plan to take a job that will cost as little to move up. Surprisingly enough the Toronto General Hospital had a cancellation and agreed to see me today. Grabbing all of my clothes I rush to pack while at the same time get ready. Maybe this is the door that will open once the last door has closed. I still feel that heaviness in my heart from last night but now at least my mind can think optimistically. Within two hours I'm ready and out the door. I don't bother taking any of my personal items from the apartment which I'm not sure will convey the right message. Will Trent think I'm leaving it behind because I plan on coming back or will he think it all means nothing to me. Both are untrue but I can't start going back to the same questions of thoughts of last night. 

When I arrive at the hospital it's almost 5:00pm and I'm 15 minutes early. As I walk towards the entrance I fidget with my black pencil skirt and my white button up long-sleeve shirt. It's simple and appropriate but as I come closer to the secretarially desk I begin to second guess.  

"Hello, my name is Elizabeth Masters, I have a 5:15 job interview for the psychologist position." I tell the older looking lady at the desk. She looks tired as she continuously types behind her desk. 

"Hello, room 509, tell the receptionist there who you are." She said with a monotone voice never looking up.

"Thank you, that's a great necklace by the way. Have a goodnight." I tell her as walk towards the elevator. Even though she wasn't the friendliest person it's still always nice to give a person a compliment to brighten their mood. 

When I reach the fifth floor I start to feel the butterflies in my stomach and once I find the room I really start to panic. With a deep breath I turn the handle and go inside. It's your average looking office hospital room with a beautiful blonde secretary sitting at the desk. I remember always being jealous of blonde hair as my dark brown hair never stood out from the crowed. 

"Hello, I'm Elizabeth Masters, I'm here for my 5:15 interview." I tell the blonde. 

"Hello, please take a seat they are running late today." She says with a fake smile. One of the things about having studied psychology is you can decode the people around you and what they are really feeling and most likely thinking. Her micro-facial expressions tell me that she said that with contempt as she probably views me as a threat to her beauty. She is probably use to being the most beautiful one in the room and so when she feels that position is threatening she becomes defensive and will over compensate for attention. As I take a seat I try to clear my mind. You are here for an interview, don't think about Trent and the fact that he is probably home right now, don't think about having to find a hotel tonight, just don't think. In the midst of my not thinking, the door to the office opens and an older man comes walking out followed by one of the most handsome men I've ever seen. He's tall with green eyes and a dark short cut beard. He's wearing a business suit which conveys power and confidence. His strong features outlined his determined eyes and the lack of lines around his mouth proved that he didn't do much smiling or frowning, a perfect poker face. Obviously a classic alpha male, I couldn't imagine a more textbook case. 

"Thank you for your offer Mr. Dublin, I'll run it by my business partners and get back to you when we have made a decision." The textbook alpha said. 

"My pleasure. Greatly appreciated, looking forward to hearing from you." The grey man replied with an all too hopeful tone. 

"Is there anything I can get for you sir?" The blonde asked licking her lips. 

"No thank you." The man said curtly whole looking down at his phone.

I have to admit, he would be an interesting case to analyze. 

"Alright let me know if you change your mind.

Mr. Dublin, your 5:15 interview is here." The blonde said batting her eyes. Turning his attention to me,

Mr. Dublin walked over with his hand held out. 

"Hello, you must be Elizabeth Masters. It's nice to meet you. If you wouldn't mind waiting a little bit longer, I just have to get some more things in order before you continue on to the interview." He said smiling while shaking my hand. His grip was soft and the way he slightly leaned toward me meant he classified me as a weaker female and wanted to establish dominance. 

"It's a pleasure meeting you.

Not a problem take your time." I tell him with a polite smile and a hard grip on his hand. Typical for men to always assume that a woman would have a weak handshake. It's either they shake too softly or they put too much force behind it in attempts of establishing dominance. I sit down again and smooth my hair back wishing that I had time to curl it before leaving. With it being to my waist it was more attainable being in fixed curls. 

"Mr. Dublin you should not make this young woman wait any longer. If the agreed time was 5:15 and it is now 5:40, either see her now or schedule another time to her convenience." The tall man interjected. He strode over and put himself between both of us. 

"I understand, but I still have some paper work to sort through before I can begin an interview. Our meeting went on longer than I expected." The older man stumbled to find his words.

"Our meeting was to begin at 3 and end at 4:30 giving you plenty of time to sort out the papers before your scheduled interview. I was finished at 4:30 however I do recall you wanting to go over the terms that I had already stated from the beginning. Therefore, this was your mistake and now both this young lady's and mine agendas set back." The gentleman stated, his voice was calm and collected. Mr.Dublin's took a second and then turned back to me. 

"I apologize for the inconvenience. Reschedule with the receptionist at a time better for you." He said and walked back into the conference office.

I stood there in silence from complete shock. What. The. Hell. A second ago I had a potential job, a potential new start and now I have nothing. My plans are set back, I'll have find an opening for the next interview and god knows how long that may take. My pure shock turned into rage. Who the hell does this guy think he is?! How dare he mettle in affairs that have nothing to do with him. I turn to look at him which is somewhat intimidating as he could be an easy 6' but I'm too angry to care. 

"How dare you sir. That interview involved Mr. Dublin and myself, you had no business interrupting like that. Next time you decide to make something your business I suggest you ensure that it doesn't involve another person's personal affairs." I said and stormed off. I didn't care what his reaction to my outburst was or that I just yelled at a complete stranger. Serves him right. 

Making my way back to the elevator I'm still fuming. I just wasted a whole day for nothing. I'm back to square one. Screw that guy! Just as the elevator chimes it's arrival I hear loud footsteps approaching. 

"Excuse me miss. Do not speak to me like that." The man said approaching me. I rolled my eyes and stepped into the elevator. 

"Do not mettle in my affairs, oh wait you already did when you canceled my interview." I said. 

"I did not cancel it, Mr. Dublin did." He responded in such a matter of fact way it pissed me off more. 

"You're the one who told him it's either now or another time! It wasn't any of your business! I was fine waiting for my interview but no you just had to act like a big man and assert yourself as alpha boss." 

"Miss.." 

"It's Elizabeth, stop calling me Miss."

The man paused. Pursed his lips and smiled. 

"Elizabeth, I reject how my actions have effected you. It was not my attention to ruin your plans. My name is Derek Adams, it's nice to meet you." As he held his hand to shake mine I was still irritated by his smoothness so I shook it with more force than I had Mr.Dublin. A small shock went through my nerves as soon as our hands touched but I shrugged it off as passive anxiety. I couldn't help but notice that his grip was neither rough nor gentle, it was assertive and formal.

"Well Derek, I hope you have learned from this encounter." Just at the right moment the elevator chimed and I made my exit leaving the intrusive stranger. As I continued on to the exit doors I made sure to tell the elderly receptionist another thank you and goodnight. This time she looked up and smiled as she waved me off. 

"Elizabeth, wait." I heard Derek's voice call from behind me. He's so bossy and yet he's just met me? I continued on never breaking pace. However, he caught up with me in a few quick strides. 

"I want to take you to dinner to make up for the incident." Derek asserted. 

"No thank you." I said just as curtly as he had the blonde. This made Derek pause in the midst of his step. 

"You must allow me to give you something as an offering of peace." 

"I don't have to do anything actually. Now you've already apologized in your own way, and I have other plans for tonight." Will this guy give up. Why would I go to dinner with a guy I just met, sort of. I unlocked my car and got in Derek still behind me. Before I could start up the car Derek knocked on the window. Ughhhhhhhhhh I groaned and rolled down the window slightly. 

"What Derek?" I grumbled turning on the car. 

"Have a goodnight Elizabeth." Derek said. I smiled and waved and then pulled out, happy to be rid of the hassle. Okay next move, get a hotel and forget today.