The numbers were swimming again. 

It wasn’t the first time they’d done this, nor would it be the last. Olivia was unfortunately very used to the synchronized swimming number that the text she was reviewing would begin to do after she stared at it for too long. It would start with just a few numbers dipping into other parts of the document, then entire words would begin doing loops, and before she knew it, her entire computer screen had become a shimmering pool full of numbers and words she couldn’t begin to make sense of. 

She thought irritably back on the few meets with a swim team her mother had insisted on when she was a child. Olivia had hated swimming even then, but this job had certainly helped her hate it more. 

With a deep, cleansing sigh, she closed her eyes and brought her hands up to her temples, gently massing circles in the tender skin. Colors from the florescent overhead lights danced behind her eyelids, unfortunately reminding her of the swimming document. From somewhere in the office, just beyond the dull gray wall of her cubicle, a voice interrupted the rhythmic clicking of keys and hum of computers working after hours. 

“How’re things going, [team leader]?” the voice asked with a telltale huff of mocking laughter. Without opening her eyes or peering over the tragically low divider between cubicles, Olivia could follow the voice back to its owner, to her right. Taking a deep breath, she turned her attention back to the document still waiting on her computer.

“I’m doing fine. How are those [expense reports] coming?” she asked simply. 

The same voice grumbled something that Olivia couldn’t hear, but their other cubicle neighbors seemed to pick up, based on the combination of visible discomfort on some and resentful agreement on others. Olivia didn’t have to look around to see their faces to gauge their reactions. While her team seemed to think that because she was so focused and serious, she wouldn’t notice their antics, she was more than aware of every snide remark and extra long lunch break. Her mental Rolodex of infractions could’ve had any one of them fired.

The little group of cubicles they occupied in the very middle of the office took up a shockingly small amount of space considering the six people who were crammed in. This busy season, Olivia’s team drew the short straw and ended up floating on their own little cubicle island. Cory, the [blank] of the group, had won the cubicle at the end closest to the door and furthest from Olivia, so he could use his proximity privileges to sneak out and take calls from his girlfriend multiple times a day—at least, whenever he wasn’t complaining or using his phone to order food. 

Near him sat John and Crystal, two of the more experienced members of the team, positioned in cubicles facing each other so the daily bickering was, according to them, unavoidable. Beyond that was Adam, one of the only other accountants in the office anywhere close to Olivia’s age, and Paolo, who despite his status as an intern, had somehow stumbled into an assignment far over his head. 

The cubicle across from Olivia was empty. It had stayed that way, with only a couple forgotten pins stuck in the wall, since the most senior member of the team had abruptly left the company. 

Crystal hummed something irritably, and despite John’s chuckle of encouragement, Cory didn’t immediately say anything else. Olivia, still not looking up from her work, took a steadying breath. 

“The [reports], Cory?” she asked again. 

He took a moment before eventually responding, his tone flat, “Yeah. I’m working on them.”

Olivia brought here fingers up to the bridge of her nose, reminding herself once again to stay calm and clear. Nothing good would come from her becoming overwhelmed. Everyone knew how busy season could get. 

“Right. Just find a good place to stop and pick up again first thing tomorrow morning,” she said simply. Then, addressing the rest of the group, she added, “You should all wrap things up if you haven’t. Try to get some sleep tonight.”

“Are you staying much later, Olivia?” 

Olivia glanced up to see Paolo’s eyes peeking over the top of the cubicle divider, watching her. She wasn’t quite sure why she looked up, considering his voice was so much softer and gentler than anyone else in the obvious, so it wasn’t anything she could confuse for someone else. Maybe his intense earnestness, though, made her feel like he deserved her undivided attention—or, at least her eye contact.

She forced a tight smile, and nodded. “I shouldn’t be too long. I have some more stuff to finish up, and then I need to send an update to Hanseung about how things are coming. You should all get going, though. It’s gonna be another long day tomorrow.”

Olivia had hardly finished speaking before John was already gathering his things in his expensive leather bag and shutting off his computer for the day. The old alarm clock that Olivia kept in the corner of her cubicle displayed the time—9:46—in bright red. A single glanced over the cubicle dividers and around the office showed her that, unsurprisingly, her team was the last in the office tonight. The front desk security guard would be angry with them for staying so late again. 

As the numbers flickered further toward 10 P.M., the other accountants gradually gathered their things and said their quiet goodbyes before sneaking out of the office. By the time the new hour came, only Olivia and Adam remained, illuminated by the glow of their screens and the fluorescent lights shining in the kitchen not too far away. 

“You’re late tonight,” Olivia said simply, eyes glued to her screen. 

Adam delivered his response with the same despondent disinterest that he always used. “I can’t help it. I’m living the dream.”

Olivia didn’t have the energy for his snark. Not after they’d already been in the office this late four times this week. 

“You should get going. Try to get some sleep,” she said simply. 

“Do I get paid for that?” he asked. 

Olivia sighed again. 

“But you’re the [team leader], so if you insist,” he replied, shutting off his computer with finality and beginning to shove his things into his bag. Olivia listened in silence as he packed everything up for the day and, eventually, pushed his chair carefully under the desk. After a muttered goodbye, Adam shuffled toward the hallway, where he’d quickly disappear in the elevator. Olivia glanced up from her work, glancing toward the window where a few streetlights glowed just outside. 

The last bus for the night would be running at midnight, but she hoped to be on an earlier one. 

After about thirty minutes, she was finally able to find a decent place to stop, and she slowly went about closing up the office for the evening. By the time she’d gotten everything ready for the next morning, she was running tight on time to catch an earlier bus, so she quickly grabbed her bag and locked up. The elevator, like usual, descended all too slowly, and when she hurried through the lobby, the security guard grumbled an irritable goodbye, clearly upset again by how late she was. 

The bus stop was a few blocks away, but in the early fall, it wasn’t too cold. Olivia’s coat did a decent enough job at keeping her warm as she traced the line of streetlights toward the stop. By the time she arrived, the bus was already pulling up, so she quickly breezed down the sidewalk and up the steep steps. 

There was a low hiss as the bus let out steam and then rumbled into motion. Despite riding the bus twice a day for the past few years, Olivia still found herself stumbling slightly when it lurched into motion, grabbing onto one of the nearby seats to keep her balance. Nodding a quick apology to the woman who occupied the seat, she headed to her usual place about halfway back, sliding in and huddling against the window. The loud hum of the bus covered any other noise, although it was scarce at this time of night. 

The usual suspects were all present in their regular seats. Near the front, the older woman with the headscarf sat hugging her bag, nodding off like she always did (but never seeming to miss her stop), unbothered by Olivia’s previous intrusion on her seat. A few rows away, there was the guy with all the facial piercings and tattoos, smelling as strongly of cigarette smoke as ever. Despite his appearance, though, he always offered a small smile and hello when Olivia came on board, his dark eyes bloodshot but strangely friendly. There were two separate businesses who took the bus at this time of year, but one of them was always plugged into his headphones and dead to the world around him, while the other had his nose buried in his phone, frequently taking calls with a tired politeness that Olivia knew all too well. The last one to board was always a young woman with an armful of textbooks, who sat in one of the front rows and refused to make eye contact with anyone else. Olivia understood her behavior, though; years ago, she’d been that student, catching the late bus from university after staying in the library studying until they shooed her out. 

Olivia offered a tired smile to the tattooed man before settling into the seat, hugging her bag to her chest and leaning her head against the window. Outside, the scenery passed in flashes of light and darkness, skimming lightly by as they rumbled through the city. The inside of the bus, however, was characteristically quiet, with only the hum of the engine permeated by the occasional tap on a cell phone or turn of a page in a book. Olivia breathed out a deep, long sigh, leaning back in her seat and silently watching out the window, not trusting herself to close her eyes. 

It didn’t take too long to reach the stop near her apartment, and once she got there, it was just a few minutes to her front door. She’d almost turned the key in the lock and thankfully let herself into her place when a door creaked open behind her, and a voice stopped her in her tracks. 

“Hey, you,” the voice slurred slightly. 

“Hey,” Olivia replied. She made a show of turning the knob and opening the door to her apartment, trying to show that she was eager to go inside, before turning around. 

“You’re awfully late again,” the young woman across the hall said, watching Olivia as she leaned heavily against the doorway to her own apartment. 

“Yeah, Iris. It’s busy season. You know that,” Olivia explained, looking over her disheveled friend. Despite it being a Thursday night and decidedly not the weekend yet, Iris had clearly had too much to drink, giving that sloppy smile she did only when alcohol was involved. Luckily, the sight didn’t bother Olivia much anymore. There was one point in time when seeing Iris draped on the doorframe, her pale red hair tied messily back in an updo that couldn’t keep it contained, wearing one of her silk slip dresses that softly clung to her curves would’ve made Olivia crazy. These days, though, she’d seen Iris’s dark makeup messily smeared around her eyes and the deep blush on her cheeks enough times that it didn’t really affect her. Olivia couldn’t tell if this was proof of her own growth, or proof that Iris’s antics really did get old. 

Just as she was beginning to think this, though, Iris’s fiancé appeared from behind her, sliding his hand steady around her tiny waist, and Olivia reminded herself that clearly some people were still charmed by her friend. 

Amari smiled, resting his chin on Iris’s bare shoulder as he said, “Hey! How was work? You’ve been late a lot recently.”

“Yeah, well,” Olivia replied, sighing. “There’s a lot to do.”

“Right, right. Busy season,” Amari said, nodding knowingly. Olivia gave a quick smile turning back toward her apartment before Iris stopped her again. 

“Wanna come in? Mari and I are gonna watch a movie, and we have drinks in the fridge.”

Olivia politely shook her head. “Thanks, but I’m exhausted. I’m just gonna head to bed.”

“Have you eaten yet?” Amari quickly asked. “I made some tacos for dinner, and there’s some leftover.”

“I’m fine,” Olivia assured him. 

“It’s no problem. Let me go grab a Tupperware and pack some for you.”

Olivia opened her mouth to stop him, but before she could even get the words out, Amari had already disappeared back into the apartment to pack her some dinner. She sighed deeply, leaning against the doorframe and smoothing a hand back over her ponytail, but Iris chuckled. 

“What, it’s not like you’re gonna feed yourself,” she reminded Olivia. 

“I’m fine, Iris. Just busy and tired.”

“Well, you’re going to be more tired if you don’t eat,” Iris said simply, straightening up a bit. There it was—Iris’s remarkable ability to regain her senses at the drop of a hat if she believed that someone needed help. Luckily, with someone like Amari around, she didn’t have to shock herself out of drunkenness much anymore. These days, she could properly enjoy inebriation, and make up for all the lost time she spend parenting everyone else in her life. 

Olivia waited in silence for only a few moments before Amari reappeared with a tupperware of meat, a small bag of veggies, and two full containers of sour cream and salsa. Without asking for approval, he pushed it into Olivia’s hands, adding, “You can just return the salsa tomorrow. I’ll be at work early but Iris should be around.”

“Thank you,” Olivia relented. 

“Make sure you eat all of it,” Amari instructed. “It’s not much, so you should be able to finish it before you go to bed.”

“Yeah, finish it,” Iris hummed, reaching up toward her fiancé and smiling against his neck. Olivia quickly averted her gaze, not having enough energy to bear witness to their PDA at this time of night. 

“Are you doing anything this weekend?” Amari asked, expertly ignoring Iris as she began kissing at his neck and collarbone. 

“Work, probably,” Olivia admitted. “At least in the mornings.”

“Well, Iris and I are going out Saturday night with some friends from college. You should join us after work,” he continued, seemingly unbothered by his fiancé’s antics. 

Olivia nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

“Night, Liv,” Iris sang, glancing up for only long enough to speak. 

“Goodnight,” Olivia replied. Holding her recently acquired dinner to her chest, she quickly excused herself, slipping into the apartment and locking it for good measure. She tried to pretend not to hear things heating up on the other side of the wall as she headed to the kitchen and served herself a small bit of Amari’s leftovers. For a little while, she lingered in the dark in the front of the apartment, only lit slightly by the light in the entryway. Before too long, though, she finished up and returned the small bit of leftovers to her own fridge. Her roommate was away and likely wouldn’t be back from his own job for a while, so she enjoyed the silence as she headed down the hall and crawled into her bed. 

Nestling beneath the clean sheets, she directly one squinted eye toward her alarm clock. 

11:32. Plenty of time to catch up on sleep before morning. 

Olivia always woke up the moment her alarm started to blare. Maybe it was a product of always being woken by Toby’s alarm, screaming into the quiet morning for as long as it could before Olivia would get up and wake him herself.

The bright numbers on her clock shined silently in the darkness. 4:45 A.M.

With a deep, tired sigh, she flicked off her comforter and rolled out of bed, letting her feet sink into the trampled old carpet for a moment before standing. She shuffled quietly around her room, changing into some comfortable clothes and grabbing her phone so that she could check emails as she went. 

She moved through the beginning of her routine in silence, heading out for the short run that she managed to squeeze in each morning. When she got back to the apartment, sweaty and chilled from the cold beyond the walls, she took a shower and quickly did her makeup—or, at least the few products that she bothered to apply these days—before getting dressed in her favorite plaid slacks and blazer and heading toward the kitchen. As soon as she stepped into the main room where the kitchen and living room met, she found Toby sprawled lazily across the couch, his long legs hanging off the end and his arm dangling near the carpet. Despite her trying to move about as quietly as possible, she soon heard him stir. 

“Is it morning already?” he mumbled, his voice rough with exhaustion and a probable hangover. 

“Mm-hmm,” Oliva hummed, turning on the coffee maker now that he was awake and leaning against the counter as she waited for it to brew. 

He shifted toward the other end of the couch, so he was laying on his stomach with his chin resting on the arm of the couch, watching Olivia. “How was work?”

“Fine,” she replied. 

Toby watched in silence as she tugged a hair tie off of her wrist and tied her wet hair back in a lazy bun on top of her head. “That’s gonna kill your hair.”

“I know,” she said simply. Then, finally looking toward him, she asked, “Late night? Why are you on the couch?”

He winced, looking away. “I might’ve brought someone home.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow. 

Toby quickly waved her off. “That’s why I’m on the couch, okay? I know we said no hookups during the week because it keeps the other person up because of these shitty-ass walls, but we stayed up here and were super quiet. We didn’t wake you, right?”

Olivia shook her head. 

“Okay, don’t give me that look!” he whined. “Listen, if you’d seen this guy, you would get it. I mean, there wasn’t a single damn brain cell in that head, but oh my god, he was built like a Greek god. Like, you know those old marble statues in, like, Rome or whatever? He looked like that.” When Olivia didn’t bite on his comments, he pouted. “Come on! I’m weak!”

Olivia shrugged, turning back to the coffee maker to retrieve her cup. “Whatever. As long as you clean up after yourself.”

“I don’t know what you’re always judging me,” Toby snapped. “I’ve seen some of the girls you bring home, and they’re not exactly impressive either.” Then, evidently thinking about what he’d said, he quickly added, “Not that you’ve brought anyone home in, like, forever.”

“It hasn’t been that long,” she replied, leaning against the counter as she took a sip. 

“When was the last time you slept with someone?” he demanded. 

Olivia tried to maintain indifference as she met his eyes, but before long, her cheeks began heating up, and she bit her lip as she looked away. 

He hooted in victory, saying, “See? You’re, like, rebuilding your virginity.”

“Oh my god,” Olivia mumbled, pushing herself off of the counter. “Okay, I gotta go.”

“Come on, you’re not gonna be young and hot forever!” Toby called after her as she gathered her purse and keys. 

Olivia tugged open her blazer, showing off the slacks and turtle neck she wore as she replied, “Is this your idea of young and hot?”

“That’s no one’s idea of young and hot,” Toby said, recoiling in slight disgust. Nobody hated business attire more that him. “But you can be when you try! If you’d just let me pick an outfit—”

“Bye, Toby,” Olivia called over her shoulder as she grabbed her coffee and headed for the front door. 

“We’re going out when you get home!” he yelled after her. “And your lame-ass job isn’t going to be a valid excuse!”

Just as Olivia was stepping out the door, she heard a bang on the left side of the apartment, and through their paper-thin walls, Mrs. Salsbury could be heard clearly giving Toby an earful about shouting so early in the morning. Olivia took this as an opportunity to leave, quickly locking the door and slipping out into the hallway. 

After letting herself into Iris’s and Amari’s apartment to return the salsa, Olivia took the stairs down from the fourth floor and headed for the bus stop. While it was only a few blocks away, the walk was very dark and very cold this early in the morning, so she hunkered down in her jacket and hurried until she could slide onto the shockingly freezing metal bench at the stop. When she arrived, though, the stop was unsurprisingly crowded—at least for six in the morning—and the bench was already occupied. Olivia found a place nearby where she waited, warming her hands in her pockets. 

The morning crowd was very different from the nighttime crowd on her local bus, but with the number of people who came to squeeze on, she could hardly memorize all of them like she did later in the day. It was all she could do on her way to work to find a spot in the aisle, crushed in between an overweight man who seemingly hadn’t showered in days and a businessman whose briefcase hit her in the small of her back every time the bus stopped. She clung onto one of the loops that hung overhead, trying not to wobble every time the driver hit the breaks a bit too hard, but the combination of claustrophobia and her high heels had her fighting for balance each time. 

But she wouldn’t dare take a seat from any of the pregnant women or elderly passengers who frequently came and went as they made their way through the city. So she hung on, keeping her eyes closed on occasion, and listened to the ambient hum of the engine as they went. 

At one of the last stops before hers, the overweight man left and a young woman who had just boarded squeezed into his place. Unlike Olivia’s former neighbor, this girl smelled undeniably of bergamot and fresh rain, and when the bus pulled away from the sidewalk, her feet were planted so firmly that even without holding onto anything, she didn’t sway at all. As the bus began to move, the stranger pulled a book out of her bag and flipped it open to a dog-eared page, and suddenly glittering hazel eyes appeared from beneath the dark curls of her bangs, moving over each line of text. Her lips, nearly the same color as the rest of her dark, caramel skin, moved slightly, as if she was mouthing every word that she read. With even jump and jerk of the bus, the girl didn’t seem to even notice. Her eyes sparkled with excitement as they paced back and forth, absorbing each line so that her lips could feel out the words. 

Olivia startled when the bus slowed again and she realized that they’d already reached her stop. Politely excusing herself, she pushed gently though the crowd, lingering only slightly as one of the stranger’s dark curls brushed against Olivia’s hand. Before she could miss her chance to get off, though, she quickly cleared her head and pushed through, bounding down the steps and onto then sidewalk just in time for the bus to pull away. 

Her heart hammered in her chest as she watched it go, hand tingling with heat. Finally, with a deep, steadying breath, she turned and started the walk toward her work building, trying to jog her memory of what paperwork she needed to find. 

She was her usual 10 minutes early when she finally made it to the office. Although her boss was already set up in his office and a couple coworkers had taken their post near the coffee machine, Olivia mostly had the office to herself. When she reached her desk, she quickly shrugged off her blazer and turned on her computer, listening to it hum to life as she leaned tiredly back in her desk chair. 

Even though there was only a few people who would ever text her, but she decided to check her phone anyway. The first message was from Amari, informing her that he would be bringing her some more food that night, since he knew she wouldn’t make time for dinner on her own. The next was from Iris, complaining about an encounter she’d had with one of her first-grade students who had told her that she wasn’t looking great today. 

After sending a couple short, noncommittal replies, Olivia tucked her phone safely and her pocket and turned back to the computer, squinting in the intense blue light it gave off. 

Taking a deep breath, she got to work. 

***

Olivia couldn’t properly focus, and it wasn’t just because Hanseung Inc. still hadn’t gotten the correct documents to her. For some strange reason, whenever she’d been staring at her screen for to long, her tired brain would begin to drift back to the morning. She’d trace the steps of her day, from using the spare key to let herself into the apartment across the hall and finding Iris asleep on her stomach on the couch, head tucked to the side and mouth gaping open until Olivia had the heart to wake her and send her hurrying to school; to the long walk to the bus, in the dark, and the shadowed figure that she was convinced was following her and caused her to run through about 50 different scenarios in her head of how she could defend herself; to, eventually, the woman she ran into on the bus, head tucked neatly into her book. 

That’s where retracing her steps would end. Olivia would get stuck like a record needle jammed in a scratched vinyl, jumping back over the same section of music over and over again in an awkward shuffling motion. Usually the morning bus ride was a blur of strangers, but somehow, this woman occupied such a firm place in Olivia’s brain that she found herself stumbling back into reveries whenever her tired mind could no longer read over the same numbers. 

Despite the fact that it had only been maybe ten minutes that Olivia and the mystery woman had shared the same space, the moment of time seemed frozen in her memory. Olivia could clearly see her long, dark curls, falling over her face like the autumn leaves crumbling in the street beyond. The stranger’s face, although not completely visible from her position, was the most beautiful warm bronze, decorated in constellations of freckles that just barely peeked out from beneath her bangs. Even in memory, Olivia could clearly feel the warmth that radiated from her, like standing next to a fireplace during the first winter freeze. 

When Olivia would inevitably come back to reality and realize where she’d drifted off to, the deluge of questions would beat her down onto her desk. Had she stared at the girl too much? Did she make the stranger uncomfortable? What was her face doing while she was watching? Did her mouth hang open? Did other people notice? Did her hands start shaking the way they did whether she thought about something too hard? Did the stranger feel uncomfortable under the gaze? Would she take a different bus tomorrow to avoid Olivia? 

No matter how she tried, these clouded daydreams seemed to frame Olivia’s day. Although she tried to work through the tired fog, she found herself continuously drawn back to those few moments—the only moments so far in her day where she forgot everything. She wasn’t thinking about Hanseung or Iris’s drinking or whether Amari was going out of his way to feed her or the prospect of Toby bringing home another hookup when all she wanted to do was sleep. 

At the time, she’d just wanted to drink in every intoxicating bit of this stranger who’d so thoroughly distracted her. Now, she ached to get that sensation back. 

Because the reality was an empty office building, surrounded by six people who clearly hated her, dealing with the accounting for a company who hadn’t even considered their bookkeeping for most of the year. 

Olivia sighed so deeply that Paolo glanced up from his cubicle across from her, raising his eyebrows questioningly. “Everything alright, Olivia?”

She closed her eyes, nodding. “Just fine.”

Adam scoffed in the cubicle beside her. When she turned her head to survey his response, though, he applied focused on his work. With a deep breath, she carefully rolled out her shoulders and turned back to her computer screen. 

“Hey, Olivia,” a voice called out from the other end of their little cubicle cluster. Olivia shifted her gaze toward John, waiting for him to continue. “You still haven’t gotten those expense reports to me.”

“Yes, John,” she replied flatly. “Hanseung hasn’t finished them. Their rep was supposed to get back to me a week ago, but I’m still waiting.”

“Don’t you think you should call them yourself?” the older man asked, staring condescendingly at Olivia. For a moment, she felt some of her coworkers prickle in discomfort, but no one spoke up. 

After a few seconds of silence, Olivia heaved a deep breath and said, “It’s after hours, as I’m sure you know, but I’ll give them a call first thing tomorrow morning, just like I do every morning.”

“Look, I’m just saying we’re running out of time and if you don’t want to completely botch this assignment, you’re going to have to take matters into your own hands,” John continued. At first, Olivia didn’t pay him eye contact. Although her expression remained as neutral as ever, her mind raced with a million thoughts. For weeks, she’d been completely drowning in this project, not only because she was given the company most difficult new case, but because of her coworkers dissatisfaction with her recent promotion. For weeks she’d been nodding along and pretending like things were going to plan—or would soon be. 

She was exhausted of pretending, but she straightened her postured and turned back to John, saying, “I appreciate all of your hard work and commitment to the project, John. I’ll continue to do everything in my power to make sure that things run as smoothly as possible from here.”

There was a beat of silence, and John grumbled as he slouched down and went back to his work. No one spoke again for a while after that. Like many nights, the breathy hum of machines and the faint flicker of the overhead lights served as the soundtrack for their hard work as the sun slipped away beyond the window. As the streetlights began to illuminate one end of the office with a warm glow, the team began to pack their things and leave, one by one. 

At the end of the night, as Paolo and Adam pushed in their desk chairs, the younger spared a quick glance back at Olivia. 

“You leaving soon?”

She peeked over the top of her computer, nodding. “Yeah. Have a good weekend.”

“Do you… need anyone to come in tomorrow morning?” Paolo asked, sharing a pointed glance with Adam, who scowled and looked away irritably. 

Olivia shook her head. “We on track with what we have. What we really need is the rest of the documentation. No point in more than one person coming in on the weekend for that.”

“Oh.” Paolo shifted slightly, and Adam sighed in exasperation before turning and leaving on his own. When Olivia didn’t immediately offer anything else, he spoke again. “You, um, seem like you work really hard. I’m sorry John talks to you like that.”

Olivia looked up again, this time forcing the slightest smile. “It’s part of the job. No problem.” Then, before the intern could speak again, she added, “Have a good weekend, Paolo.”

He sighed, his eyes drifting toward the floor as he shouldered his bag. “You too.”

Without another word, he headed out of the office, leaving Olivia alone at her desk with a pile of processed documents and about 50 unanswered emails. 

***

“Hey, look who’s finally home!” Iris sang, holding up a beer in a wobbly cheers as Olivia pushed through the front door. 

Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of the full apartment. Iris was sitting on one end of the old couch Olivia and Toby had thrifted a few years back, her hair falling in big, soft curls around her bare shoulders. Although her body wasn’t visible from the doorway, Olivia knew by the makeup and hair that her friend was dressed for the club—probably in one of those tight sequined dresses she’d been wearing since college and a pair of heels she’d only be able to walk in for the first few drinks. 

Just around the corner, Toby and Amari sat at either end of the ugly orange-wood kitchen table, talking over a few hands of cards and some discarded beer bottles. When Olivia approached, she took them in quietly, her shoulders slumping as she began to pull off her heels. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Check your baggage at the door, girly,” Iris called, pointing firmly toward the front of the apartment. “That includes the bitchiness.”

Olivia sighed, shaking her head as she pulled off her second shoe and place the pair neatly on the rack. When she entered the kitchen and headed for the fridge, she felt eyes following her, but wasn’t sure which until a voice spoke up.

“Long day?” Toby asked. 

Olivia hummed a quick ‘yes’ before ducking into the fridge. For a few moments, she stared in silence, basking in the cold air that billowed out in clouds, before realizing that she didn’t actually want anything from it. What she wanted was a distraction and an excuse to avoid eye contact with her friends, so she continued to pretend that she was looking for something. 

“Well, a few drinks will solve that. Some of the girls are already at the club, but Iris and and I were waiting for you,” Toby explained. 

Olivia wanted to disappear. How many times had she had to politely try to talk herself out of one of Toby’s outings that he’d planned without consulting with her? They’d been doing this since college, yet he never seemed to let up. Did he still not realize that his big group plans were’t exactly her thing, or had he really convinced himself that he could change her mind?

“I’m really tired, T,” she said simply. 

“Hell no, not today,” he replied immediately, his voice rising a few notes. “You need this, girl. Trust. Besides, Kaitlyn and Amy are in town! Remember how much fun we used to have?”

“You used to have,” Olivia reminded him.

“Ugh, we used to go out all the time before you got your boring ass ‘adult job’,” Toby continued, using air quotes and a stupid voice as he said ‘adult job’. 

“Sorry,” Olivia mumbled. 

“Oh, leave her alone. She’s a wet blanket,” Iris said. 

“Let up, guys. She works hard. She’s entitled to days off,” Amari cut in. For what must’ve been the millionth time, Olivia breathed a long sigh of relief thanks to him. 

When she finally shut the fridge, having retrieved nothing, she turned back to the group. “Sorry, guys. I’m just really tired. Maybe after busy season is over.”

“After busy season?” Toby exclaimed. “Honey, you can’t do this for three more months. You gotta let off some steam.”

“I have no steam to let off. Trust,” Olivia replied. 

For the first time in the evening, Iris slowly set her drink down, looking over Olivia properly. “You alright, girl?”

Olivia nodded. “Just tired.”

Smiling, Iris cleared the couch and waved her friend over. Olivia passed the boys at the table and collapsed onto the couch next to Iris, dropping her head onto Iris’s lap with a solid thump. Iris chuckled as she pulled the tie out of Olivia’s hair and gently began to smooth it back, running her fingers through the long locks. With a soft, satisfied sigh, Olivia closed her eyes, humming in contentment as Iris’s fingers traced designs on her scalp and gingerly combed her hair away from her face. 

Although Olivia could still hear the conversation between her roommate and friends, it gradually started to fade into the background after a while. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thought to set her alarm for the morning, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. 

slowly, she let herself drift away.

By the time Olivia woke up, sunlight was already filtering through the living room curtains, falling across the couch and blinding her when her eyes flickered open. She moved slowly, using one arm to help herself to sit up, conscious only slightly of the blanket that had been on her pooling on her lap. Blinking hard a couple of times, she rubbed her eyes with her fists and attempted to take in the room with clearer vision. 

“Oof, you look rough,” Toby sang from the kitchen. Olivia turned, squinting, to find her roommate in the adjoining kitchen, a baby pink apron tied around his waist as he addressed her with a plastic spatula. “Coffee, my love?”

“Yeah,” Olivia mumbled, her voice still feeling gravely and hoarse from sleep. Toby chuckled as she glanced down, staring in confusion at the work clothes she still wore, before beginning to feebly search for her phone. 

After allowing her to fumble around for a few moments, he met her at the couch, holding out a hot cup of coffee as he said, “Your phone’s charging in the bedroom. Iris didn’t want your alarm to wake you up this morning, but she didn’t know how to turn it off, so she left it in another room.”

Olivia sighed deeply, cradling the mug in both hands. “I wanted to get some work done this morning. That’s why I set the alarm.”

Toby waved her off with the spatula as he went back to the eggs he was burning. “You needed sleep.”

As memories of the night before came slowly back after the fog of exhaustion began to lift, Olivia tenderly rubbed her head with one hand. “Did you guys go out last night?”

He scoffed. “Of course not. We hung around here.”

“But didn’t you say Kaitlyn and Amy were in town?”

“Oh, they’re always in town,” he replied dismissively. “Some people just never grow up, you know? Imagine still going clubbing every weekend in your college town.”

“Yeah. Can’t imagine,” she said, watching her roommate with a slight smile as he finished the eggs and began heading her way with a plate full of questionable food. When he reached the living room, he flopped down on the couch beside her, sitting sideways so he was facing her as he handed off a plate of dry eggs, buttered toast, and microwaved bacon. 

“For the love of my life,” he said with a wink.

Olivia accepted the meal and began to quietly eat in her spot, aware of Toby watching her and doing her best not to chew loudly or make any strange faces. As she worried over the intensity of her gaze, though, he sighed loudly and leaned back against the arm of the couch, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“You really may be the love of my life. I’ve never met anyone else who eats my shit cooking without complaint.”

Olivia shrugged, pointing her fork at him as she said, “Maybe you’ve just never met anyone desperate enough.”

“Maybe that’s what keeps us together—desperation and a shared love of cheap furniture.”

“I wouldn’t say I love it,” Olivia replied, softly rubbing her back where it was beginning to ache from sleeping on the couch all night.

“Fine. Our shared acceptance of life’s shit.”

Olivia couldn’t help but smile slightly. “That sounds right.”

With a satisfied sigh, Toby crossed his arms over his chest, settling into the couch. “So, what’s your plan for today? You deserve a day off, and I don’t have to be at the bar until 8.”

Olivia’s smile faded, and she looked away reluctantly. “I really should go into the office for a few hours. Hanseung is still holding those documents we really need, and if we don’t have them when we get to the office on Monday, I don’t think there’s any way for us to finish this on time.”

“Liv, please,” Toby whined. “You have to take some time off. This is why you’re getting wrinkles.”

She stared at him incredulously. “I’m not getting wrinkles.”

“Maybe not yet, but you will if you keep working so much!” he insisted. “I’m telling you, if you just let me introduce you to a bit of a skincare regimen…”

She shook her head, slowly standing from the couch and taking her empty plate into the kitchen. “Thanks, To, but washing my face is just about all I have time for.”

“Please tell me you’ve at least been using my moisturizer,” he called. 

“On occasion.”

“Please, sweetheart. Your skin is begging you.”

After quickly rinsing her plate and adding it to the dishwasher, she turned back to her roommate, shaking her head. “Yeah, well it’s in good company with the other things I’ve neglected.”

When she returned to the couch, taking the coffee mug that Toby handed to her, he stared up at her completely seriously, not letting her take it as he said, “Honey, please. Not taking care of yourself may have been charming in college, but now when you’re 25.”

Olivia rolled her eyes, prying the mug from his hands and heading toward the hall. “I gotta get ready for work. You keep those insults on ice.”

“You know I will!” he called after her. 

She couldn’t help the small smile that found her lips as she headed down the hall toward the bathroom. If there was any upside to the lifestyle she’d led for the past few years, his name was Toby Miller.

***

Despite her arriving at the office at a completely different time that usual, Olivia was still able to follow her normal routine as she headed in. First came the bus ride, and while it wasn’t the jumbled, crowded mess it usually was in the morning, they passed all the same landmarks, and Olivia was able to check emails on her phone just as she always did. When she arrived at the building, she waved at the security guard at the front desk, and he nodded grumpily back as she got into the elevator. The elevator always hiccuped as it passed the third floor, and Olivia was used to that. When she hit the fifth floor, she stepped out and let herself into the office with the keycard on her lanyard, and the high-pitch beep in the silence sounded just like it always did. 

Unlike usual, the office was completely empty when she stepped inside. Without wasting time, Olivia quickly headed toward her desk, depositing her things on the floor next to her and looking up the phone number that she’d almost memorized at this point. After almost a month working with Hanseung, calling their representative every morning had nearly become part of her routine. 

She slowly leaned back in her desk chair, holding the phone to her ear as it rang a few times in the silence. Then, by some small miracle, the line cleared and a man on the other end cleared his throat. 

“Tom Chin, how can I help you?

Olivia breathed out a restrained sigh of relief. “Hello, Tom. This is Olivia Reyes with Pariot LLP.”

“Ah, hi again, Miss Reyes. How are you enjoying your weekend?” Tom said cheerfully, the smile clear in his tone. Olivia did everything she could to not roll her eyes at the show he insisted on putting on each time they spoke.

“Well, it could be going better,” Olivia admitted. “Mr. Chin, we’re still waiting on that documentation for last year. It’s very important that we get that as soon as possible so we can finish everything for Hanseung on time.”

“Yes, I completely understand,” he replied, not at all surprised by Olivia’s blunt words. “My team and I are hard at work getting everything ready for you. I promise we will be sending it over as soon as things are finished. Again, I’m very grateful for your patience as we get things organized.”

Olivia bit her lip. She wasn’t feeling patient. She wasn’t patient at all. Once again, her mind began rapidly shifting through the intrusive thoughts she just couldn’t seem to keep at bay. Was he lying to her? Was the documentation damaged or lost? Would it ever get to her? If it didn’t come and she couldn’t finish Hanseung’s accounting by the deadline, would she be demoted? After everything she went through in college to get her degree and find a good job, after working tirelessly for the past four years to move up in the company faster than any accountant had, after giving up nearly every last scrap of her social life… would they fire her? What would she do if she got fired? Another firm wouldn’t hire someone with a termination on their resume. She would have to go into a different field, doing a menial job for an income that couldn’t support her. What if she got evicted again for not being able to afford rent? She’d spent four years trying to compensate for that eviction. Was this going to nullify all the work she’d done? What if Toby didn’t bail her out this time? What if she ended up on the street? What if everything she’d been through had been for nothing?

“Miss Reyes, are you still there?”

Olivia quickly nodded. “Yes, sorry about that. I just wanted to make sure we all have an understanding about the time constraints we are working under. My team and I will do absolutely everything in our power to get this project done on time, but getting that documentation is critical. We can only do so much before we have access to that.”

“Yes, of course,” Tom replied, still nursing the cheerful edge in his voice. “Thank you again for your understanding. I will get it to you was soon as possible. I have full faith that you and your team will do an excellent job with our accounting this year. Like I said before, we are so excited to be working with you.”

“Mm-hmm,” Olivia hummed. In the back of her head, the word fired kept bouncing around erratically, making it difficult for her to think clearly. She needed those documents. 

“Well, Miss Reyes, I unfortunately have to leave this here. As you know, there’s still much to get done. I will make sure my assistant is in contact with you with updates about the documents, but please, don’t hesitate to call me with any questions. It’s a pleasure speaking with you, as always. You have a wonderful weekend.”

Olivia kept words bubbling up in the back of her throat. She wanted to scream, to tell him that she wouldn’t be having a wonderful weekend, because she’d most likely be spending her time in the office, pouring over the documentation that they did have and trying to figure out the best way for her team to go about things in order to stay on track without getting ahead of themselves without the full picture. She wanted to tell him to stop smiling and level with her. She wanted to drop the sickening business friendliness and tell it to him straight—that Hanseung’s financial mess was very well going to get her fired.

But instead, she only said, “Thank you. I’ll be in touch.”

The line cleared, and Olivia hung up the phone before slowly sinking down to rest her forehead on the desk. It was cold, but the shock felt good on her skin. Or maybe it just felt like a distraction. Either way, she closed her eyes, and for the five minutes she allowed, tried to drift away. She could never do it—her mind didn’t ever stop—but she couldn’t help but try.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Olivia quickly looked up to see John peering over the cubicle divider, his coat draped over his arm. “Hi, John. What are you doing here?”

He nodded toward the jacket. “Just left this here last night. What are you doing here?”

“Well,” she said slowly, glancing back at the phone. “I needed to call Hanseung and check on the documents again. We’re going to be in big trouble if we can’t get started on it this coming week.”

“So they sent them over?” he asked. 

She hesitated, then shook her head. “Their rep said he’d keep me updated.”

John’s eyes trailed Olivia up and down, taking in her appearance—only slightly more relaxed than during the week, in case she ran into someone at the office, exactly like this—then leaned on his own cubicle. “You’re not looking so great, ‘boss.’ Maybe someone more qualified should take over the Hanseung project?”

“I’m just fine, John,” she assured him, sitting up straighter. “Thank you for the concern.”

He shrugged. “Sure, if you think you can handle it. I’ve already let Jason know that I’d be happy to take over if this proves too much for you.”

“It won’t,” she said quickly, her tone cutting the conversation off.

With concerted aloofness, John shrugged again and stepped back. “As long as you’re sure. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Olivia watched him over the edge of the divider as he retreated, not looking away until he reached the front door and it closed with a solid click. 

Once he was gone, she sighed deeply, leaning back in her chair and staring at the ceiling. She had to get things under control. Soon.

***

There wasn’t much of a routine on Saturdays. That’s what kept Olivia on edge. 

When Toby called and asked her to go out with him for a couple hours, she couldn’t immediately find an excuse, so she let herself get dragged to the local club. Not unlike most weekends, their usual spot was too loud, too dark, and way too packed. Despite Toby helping to ward off most men from hitting on her with his presence as a “Straight-Passing Gay” as he liked to call himself, Olivia found that even being jostled between strangers on the dance floor was too much. She ended up getting a drink or two to take the edge off, she mostly hung out at the end of the bar, alternating chatting with Toby and watching him grind on a hot new stranger. 

After a couple hours, Toby finally relented and agreed to head out, and Olivia didn’t waste any time guiding her tipsy friend to the door. Outside, the wave of fresh, cold air washed over her, blanketing her in the familiar scents of smog and rain, and she let out a long breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. 

Toby chuckled as her tightly coiled muscles began to relax, and he threw his arm around her, under the guise of using her for support. The last bus of the night would be running soon, but luckily, they were only a few blocks away from the nearest stop, so Olivia allowed Toby to slow her down to a slightly more leisurely stroll. 

Despite the time, the city around them was still alive with the Saturday nightlife. Energy crackled in the air, bouncing between the neon signs, the bright streetlights, and the headlights that passed every so often, casting shifting shadows all across the pavement. The sky overhead was completely clear tonight, and the moonlight mingled with manufactured glow of the nightlife strip. Taxis buzzed around the streets like locusts, hovering at sidewalks and swallowing passersby as they made their way home from the clubs. Olivia artfully avoided eye contact with the drivers, but Toby wasn’t afraid at all of facing them and saying no with a glowing smile. 

“Thanks for coming out, Liv,” Toby said as they made their way toward the bus stop. Despite the cold that hung over the street at this time of night, Toby’s arm around her shoulders and body pressed to her side kept Olivia almost comfortably warm. 

“Well, someone had to babysit you,” she replied simply. She tugged at him lightly as they approached a puddle, not wanting him to trip into it, but he easily skirted around. When he moved around it, though, he took his weight off of her for a moment, and she promptly threw him off, scowling. “You’re not even drunk!”

Toby stared at her with a grin, watching the way she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “Come on, what did you expect? You’re a beautiful girl, I’m a beautiful man. It’s only natural.”

She sighed in sheer exasperation, shaking her head. “You’re as gay as they come, Toby.”

  “Maybe I’m experimenting,” he retorted. 

“Or maybe you’re just clingy,” Olivia shot back, watching him with a raised eyebrow. He burst out laughing, throwing an arm around her and squeezing her tight. She tried to maintain her irritation, but the warmth and comfort of Toby’s embrace usually did away with any of her qualms. 

“You’re so cute when you’re mad,” he hummed into her ear. She quickly swatted him away, not liking how intimate his voice was, despite the fact that it couldn’t mean anything between the two of them. As she tried to wrestle him away, though, he only laughed again, pressing his face into her neck as he whispered. “I can’t help teasing you. You get flustered so easily.”

Finally, Olivia was able to shove her elbow into Toby’s ribs, and with a startled oof, he stumbled away, trying catch his breath and balance at the same time. Olivia quickly crossed her arms protectively over her chest and, after watching him for a moment, turned and continued on toward the bus stop. It took a few seconds before Toby managed to catch up, leaving just a slight distance between them as he regarded her with a smile and a light shove. 
“Really. That’s for coming, Liv. I always have more fun when you’re around.”

Olivia tried to ignore the sincerity in his voice as she walked, still hugging herself tightly against the cold. Lips pressed into a straight line, they approached the bus stop, and seeing how there was no one already there, she and Toby slid onto the frightening chill of the metal bench as they waited. For a few minutes, she sat in silence, trying to stay stern, but eventually, as the wind picked up, she sighed. 

“I guess you can hug me. For warmth only.”

Toby grinned, reveling in his victory, but didn’t say anything more. Instead, he opened his jacket the way he so often did in the winter, pulling Olivia into his lap and wrapping the coat snug around both of them. When the wind picked up again, she nestled against him, savoring his warmth as they waited. 

“Yeah, I guess I have fun with you, too,” she said.