“It’s Char, Your Majesty.  Should I let her in?” asked the Living Life Medical Technician.

“Did you mean Princess Charlotte? And yes, show her in, please.”

“Grams, are you ok?”

“Yes, just getting my annual tune-up. Nothing to worry about.  I’m as strong as a horse.”

“You always have been, Granny.”

“Wills, is that you? I thought you were coming back from New Zealand tomorrow.”

“I was but there was some nasty weather headed our way.  How are you?”

“Never better!”

“Grams, you’re not using these injections again are you?” asked Charlotte.  “Poor Lilliabet spent her first six years thinking you were mad at her.”   

“I never want my face paralyzed like that again, and I told that man to throw those detestable things out.”

“I’ll take care of that for you.”

“Kate dear, how thoughtful of you.  Maybe you could ring for some tea.”

“Hey Granny!” said Prince Harry.  “See Wills, I told you. If there were any strawberries at this time of year, Granny would have them here with her.” 

“Harry, Dear.  So lovely to see you!  Are you back for good or just a stopover?

“In for a day.  Gone in the morning.”

“Are we late?” asked Beatrice and Eugenie as they popped their heads in.

“Oh, now all of you, this is too much.  I’ll be done shortly – go on into the living room.  Wait…late for what?”

“Granny we’re all worried about you!”

“I’m fine.”

“Normal people don’t have these…these dialysis looking contraptions with hoses like that.”

“I AM the Queen.  I’m not like normal people.  Now if you don’t mind, I would like some privacy.”

“Hello, Mummy!”

“Ah, the Substitute.  I was wondering when you would arrive!  This is starting to make sense now. Charles, explain…and please leave the Rottweiller outside where she belongs.”

“Mummy, there’s no need…”

“What Father is trying to say is no one lives to be as old as you, Granny.”

“What about Adam, Noah, and Methuselah? They all lived well beyond my mere 124 years.

“Who are they?” asked George.

“Read your Bible, dear.  Never forget:  you represent the church and state.” 

“Grans, no monarch ever lives past 100.”

“Well, I attribute that to clean living and builder’s tea.  Nothing like it.  And I refuse to let the stress get to me.  Mind over matter.”

And if we pull this plug – would your mind rule over that matter? 

“You do that Charles, and you won’t be a substitute much longer!”

“Your subjects are starting to notice.  The newspapers mention it weekly.”

“Are you using the tabloids to make your case with me?

“Mummy, do give Wills a chance!  It’s 2050 for Heaven’s sake!” pleaded Charles. “You could step aside for say, six months and let Wills take the reins. Think of it as a trial monarchy. Then people would see you are leaving the country in fully capable hands.”

“My realm is in fully capable hands.  Oh Charles, when will you learn?  A monarch never abdicates!”