Chapter One

Caitlyn learned the word bureaucracy in a civics class last year. Every week they had to read stories from the newspaper and summarize them. Caitlyn had to look it up, and Mrs. Lahar started a big discussion about it, about big government and red tape and incompetence. Caitlyn had thought Mrs. Lahar was right wing zealot and so she had spent most class periods reading fantasy novels hidden in her textbooks.

Caitlyn looked down the hallway, a bland beige antiseptic looking pit into hell. The chair she was sitting in was hard and lumpy and she had been sitting so luck everything was falling asleep. The social work had promised to be right back and now Caitlyn had no idea what time it was or what was going. For two days, she had been shipped from one office and one caseworker to another, with no straight answers.

The word bureaucracy suddenly came to mind, and Caitlyn could see before Mrs. Lahar’s class, the polemic rantings, and the warnings not to vote democratic.

“I think I owe Mrs. Lahar an apology,” she said to herself.

A few minutes after that, the office door across from Caitlyn opened and Caitlyn’s social worker, Ms. Donna poked her head out.

“All right dear, can you come in here?”

She happily stood, stretched and walked into the office. Another woman was sitting across from Ms. Donna’s desk.

“Caitlyn, I’d like you to say hello to Ms. Deirdre.”

“Hello Ms. Deirdre,” Caitlyn said, intentionally parrot like. No one in child services seemed to appreciate what it was like to be completely bored, for as much as they ignored her without giving her anything to do. She had been at such a good point in her book, too.

They shook hands and then both sat in much more comfortable chairs in Ms. Donna’s office.

“I know you must be worried about your mom and dad,”Ms. Donna said. Caitlyn shrugged. How was she supposed to answer something like that? No, I couldn’t care less, she wanted to say. She wasn’t sure how true it was, but she wanted to say it. She also wanted to ask Ms. Donna if she thought she was a heartless bitch.

“Things are a bit difficult right now. Your parents are having a very hard time and they need some time to work through their issues.”

“They’ve always had issues,” Caitlyn said.

Ms. Donna smiled patiently.  “Things have been hard on you too. Things have been hard for a long time and that is not fair on you. Your brother is away at college so he gets a little break and meanwhile all the troubles have fallen on you. That’s a lot for a fourteen year old girl, don’t you think?”

“Anne frank was younger than me,” she said. She looked sideways at Mrs. Deirdre. She had creamy skin and too much blush. Her soft brown hair was done up in gigantic curls that looked very dated to Caitlyn but still looked nicer than Caitlyn ever got to wear her hair. She had a crisp dark blazer and shiny shoes with wide heals.

Ms. Deidre smiled. “You deserve a break too, don’t you think? Ms. Donna asked me here so that I could help to get some time for yourself, for you to heal while your parents are healing.”

“Where’s my mom?”

“She’s in the hospital. She’s going to be in there for a while, I’m afraid,” Ms. Donna said.

“How bad was it?” Caitlyn asked. At least she tried to. Her voice cracked halfway through and her lips but the sound wouldn’t come. Instead, tears came and she blinked them away and fought to control her emotions. She lost and had to wipe away a few tears.

“She’s going to be okay,” Ms. Donna said firmly. “She’s out of intensive care, her surgery went well. She’s going to get better.”

“When can I see her?” Caitlyn asked.

“Caitlyn,” Ms. Deirdre said, “we don’t think that is a very good idea right now.”

“But she’s my mom.”

“I know, dear,” Ms. Donna said. “Do you know where you Dad is?” she asked.

Caitlyn shrugged. She hadn’t given it much thought but it seemed so obvious why would she? “Jail?” she asked.

Ms. Donna nodded solemnly. “That’s right. This isn’t like when he went to jail before. He’s not going to be gone for a day and two days or a week. He is going to jail for a long time. A long time.”

“What about my mom?” Caitlyn was already so frustrated and getting a straight answer was made impossible. This is the bureaucracy.

“Your mom is not well.”

“You said she would get better.”

“Physically,” Ms. Donna explained. “Her body will heal and she will be up and around doing her usual things. But mentally, she isn’t well. You knew that, didn’t you Caitlyn?”

She shrugged again. What kind of a question is that? No, I hadn’t noticed my mom was a pill head zombie. No, I’ve never seen her try to kill herself. She wanted to scream, “Ms. Donna, I told you something was wrong with her last year and you did nothing.”

Ms. Donna didn’t appear to notice the rage boiling inside Caitlyn. She kept talking in her sonorous tones. “When your mother is physically well enough to leave the hospital, she is going to go to another hospital.”

“White pine?” Caitlyn asked. Caitlyn’s mother had been to the mental hospital once before, when she was six or seven.  

“Yes.”

“For how long?” Caitlyn felt herself go completely cold, like ghosts were all around her.

“It’s very hard to say,” Ms. Donna said. “A lot of that is going to depend on your mom. But we need to know that she is well enough to take care of herself and of you before we can let you go back to live with her.”

“Do I have to go into foster care?” she squeaked.

“We considered that, Caitlyn, but we were happy to find you had some family not very far away. Do you remember your Aunt Eliza?”

The cold shivers changed into hot flashes. “No.” she said sternly. She hates my mom. I don’t know if I ever met her. Because mom wouldn’t let her around.”

“I understand. Ms. Deidre spoke to Aunt Eliza on your behalf. She remembers you very well from when you were little and she is very happy to welcome you into her home.”

Ms. Deidre jumped in. “I am going to take you there now.”

Caitlyn cried. “I have to leave Birch run? And my friends? What about school? There’s a big test next week in history? Why are you doing this to me?” Caitlyn sobbed, big, heaving breaths escaping in between wails. The two women sat quietly, comforting looks on their faces. Ms. Deirdre reached over and held Caitlyn’s hand. Caitlyn was so furious she wanted to yank it away and scream in Ms. Deirdre’s face. But she was scared and lonely too, so she held on instead. Ms. Deirdre came closer, and Caitlyn cried into her blazer.

When her crying subsided into little raspy breaths, she looked at Ms. Donna again. “I don’t even know where Aunt Eliza lives.”

“Dearborn,” Ms. Deirdre said. “I live there too. It’s very nice. Much bigger than Birch Run. But your aunt lives in a very pretty neighborhood, and it is a very good school. We’ve been working on the paperwork, so you’ll be able to start right away and you shouldn’t miss very much. We’re going to try to make this as easy as possible.”

That seems impossible, Caitlyn thought. But what would be the point of saying something like that?

Chapter two

Ms. Deirdre took Caitlyn to her home to pack a few things. “Essentials,” Ms. Deirdre told her. “We can always send for other things later.”

The house was still a mess. It was always a mess really, with things cluttered on every counter and table, stacked in every corner, stuffed into every nook and cranny. But it wasn’t how it usually was, a frustrating cluster of junk. The dingy carpet glittered with glass fragments. Cupboards in the kitchen had been smashed in, shelves pulled down, ceramic dishes smashed to pieces. Ms. Deirdre took her shoulder and guided her down the hallway to her room. Caitlyn’s room was a mess too, but it was her mess, old homework crinkled and scattered on the floor around her desk. Her father had built her that desk a long time ago. The periwinkle walls were covered with magazine photos of the actors from her favorite show. Her bed was unmade. She suddenly didn’t feel so bad leaving all this behind. It was a dump anyway. She grabbed her favorite sweater and her coat, since it was only going to get colder, a few complete outfits, her pillow, the book she was reading and the next one in the series, and a the picture of her brother she kept in a frame on her desk. She stuffed it into her backpack after she emptied it. It was an awkward puffed up mess, but it all fit. Her life in a nutshell. How depressing.

Caitlyn witnessed firsthand how different her life was going to be in Dearborn. For an hour, Ms. Deirdre only drove past corn fields and cow pastures, occasionally big stretches of trees, but not much else. The corn fields gave way to small towns, houses, factories, still interrupted regular with patches of forest. Finally, the got to Detroit. Caitlyn had never seen such tall buildings. They towered over her as they zoomed along the highway. These magnificent structures of steel and glass sported some big company on the side, cellphone providers and banks. It was beautiful.

“Haven’t you been to Detroit before?” Ms. Deirdre asked.

Caitlyn hadn’t. Ms. Deirdre chuckled at her awe. “I’ve been to New York,” she told Caitlyn. “There are some big buildings.”

“Is this what Dearborn is like?” Caitlyn asked.

“Hmm, a little. Dearborn is a suburb of Detroit. It’s a lot smaller. Not so many big buildings. But there are a lot of great things to do. The Henry Ford museum is fun. There are lots of parks. You’re really going to like it.”

 The cityscape broke again into factories and houses spattered with trees. The houses were small, a little smaller than the farmhouses she lived in in Birch Run. The yards were miniscule, but very well kept and colorful with flower beds and Japanese maples bursting with dark red leaves. It was one a clock when they pulled into the driveway of a yellow single story ranch. There were children’s toys in the front yard, a big wheel, and some action figures. The sidewalk was dusted with chalk drawings. Caitlyn hoisted her book bag out of the car, but then froze, afraid to go any further. She didn’t know this woman at all, except for what her mother had told her. Caitlyn realized her mother was an unreliable source, but something must have happened to come between two sisters in such a way, to make one sister hate the other. Caitlyn imagined hating her brother, Jeff. She didn’t even know how to start.

“It’s okay, Caitlyn,” Ms. Deirdre said. “Come on.”

Caitlyn shadowed Ms. Deirdre up the walk to the front door and let the case worker ring the bell for her. TA dog barked and a woman shouted, but they stood still on the porch. Caitlyn stared at the welcome mat in front of her feet. It was a religious reference. Caitlyn wasn’t sure if that felt welcoming or not. The door opened, and a woman pushed out the screen door, briskly welcoming them in, her hands filled with baskets of clothes. They shuffled in and the door closed behind them.

“Go on that way,” the woman pointed with her elbow. “Get yourself a seat and relax, I’ll be with you in one more minute.” This woman, Caitlyn’s supposed aunt, had addressed Ms. Deirdre entirely and had barely looked at her. But she did appear to be frazzled, her flowery apron was dusted in flour, the house smelled like fresh baked bread, and her hair was coming out of its pony tail.

Caitlyn sat on a tan corduroy couch and Ms. Deirdre sat on a paisley lazy boy. A minute later, Aunt Eliza reappeared without her apron. She smoothed her long black hair into a new ponytail. She had severe features, a sharp nose and high cheek bones, and was somewhere between handsome and pretty. She smiled as she approached Caitlyn, jutted her hand out for Caitlyn to shake, and when Caitlyn grabbed her back, Aunt Eliza pulled her up out of her chair and held her at shoulder’s length.

“Look at you girl. Mm mm mm. I ain’t seen you since you were little. You have grown up. And around,” she added, poking at Caitlyn’s side. “We’ll take care of that. Lots to do around here, there shan’t be time for sittin’ around.”

“Hello, Mrs. Vaydick,” Ms. Deirdre said. “We’re so pleased that you’re here to help Caitlyn at a time like this.”

“Oh I know exactly what you mean. The Lord challenges us in so many ways. He’s been challenging my sister for so long now. Even before she met that man she married but he was the challenge that did her in. I hate to speak ill of your daddy, he being your daddy and all, but it is the truth. That man is no good, and he brought ruin to your mother. She used to be a wholly different person.”

Caitlyn didn’t know what to say to that, but she was relieved to hear it. She had felt that way herself, that it was her father that made things get so bad, that he was the instigator, that he made it worse. But that didn’t mean her mother was faultless. It didn’t mean that what happened was okay.

“I’m pleased to meet you,” Caitlyn said, practically whispered.

“Ain’t you sweet? You don’t remember me, do you? Poor thing. I used to watch you all the time when your momma worked. She did nights at the post office and you’d sleep at my house. I moved down here right before she met your daddy, and then everything changed. Tsk. Such a shame sometimes.”  

“Mrs. Vaydick,” Ms. Deirdre said.

“Call me Eliza dear,” she said back.

“Eliza, I think it would be a good idea if Caitlyn got to know you a little bit. Why don’t you tell her about what your house is like?”

“Ah, of course. Well, Frank, that’s your uncle, he’s at work now. He works at the Ford factory not far from here. You’ll meet him tonight at dinner. He comes home at lunch sometimes, but not today. And I got three other kids livin’ here with me.”

“I didn’t know you had three kids,” Caitlyn said.

“Bless your heart, dear, no. I just got Jimmy. He is 26 already, my time just slips through our fingers. He lived in Escanaba in the U.P. We take turns for Christmas. Have you been to the U.P. before?” Caitlyn shook her head now. “Cold. Cold cold cold, but the snow sure is pretty and they love Christmas up there. We’re going up there this year, you will love it I am sure. So nice to spend Jesus’ birthday with good Christian people. Such a nice church Jimmy goes to. I’m a grandmother. I bet you didn’t know that either. He’s got two little little ones. I told Jimmy to slow down but he thinks it’s a race.

“No, I am a foster mother. God calls us to look after his children and that is what I do. I got three kids all different ages, but Grace might be close enough to your age that you can be friends. Oh, honey, I’m sorry, how old are you now? It’s been so long.”

“Fourteen,” Caitlyn choked out.

“Yeah, Grace is eleven, so maybe you can be friends. That would be nice. Oh, and Leah is seventeen. She’s a senior in high school. You’ll be going to the same school as she is. I bet she can show you around, introduce you. Sometimes she thinks she’s smart, but she’s a good girl. Boy, it sure will be a full house now with four children. Mm mm mm.”

Caitlyn stared at her fingers. She pulled and picked at her fingernails until she had bloody hangnails on most of her fingers. After all this, she thought a little angry, I’m still winding up in foster care.

“You’ll meet them in a few hours. They get home around 2:30. We’ll get you settled by then, and get you ready to start school tomorra. You’ll help me in the kitchen, we’ll get you right at home in no time.”

Caitlyn mustered a thank you.

“At least Beverly managed to teach you some manners.”

“Well, Eliza,” Ms. Deirdre said, “I’m do at the office soon. I’m sure you will call me if you need anything. Caitlyn,” she pulled a card out of her purse. I want you to call me too. You can still call Ms. Donna if you like, but I’ll be your case worker while you’re in Dearborn. And I’ll be checking in in a couple weeks to see how things are going. Especially school. Changing schools can be tough but Ms. Donna told me you are very smart and you’re a hard worker, so I know you can get through the tough part with a little help. All right?”

Caitlyn took the card, held it tightly between her fingers. “Thank you for bringing me here,” she said. She didn’t know what else to say.

“It was a pleasure meeting you. I really mean that. I look forward to talking to you soon.”

Aunt Eliza walked her to the door. Caitlyn tried to listen to their conversation on the porch but could make it out other than how pleasant it sounded, like everything was going to be fine.

The door shut and Aunt Eliza came back in. she put the apron back over her head, and brushed the floor off the front.

“All right missy. I’m sure you probably had the run a’ the house back home. Your mom got her so far up her rear, she prolly just let you do whatever you wanted. Well, let’s just hope you get here in time. I know the lord will help us. Grab your things, I’ll show ya where you’ll be stayin’.”

Aunt Eliza led her down a hallway and past a set of bedrooms that were clearly for kids. Caitlyn stopped for a minute in the doorway of a blue and yellow room. The walls were adorned with posters for bands and pop singers. Caitlyn recognized Katy Perry but no one else.

“Come on, Caitlyn,” Aunt Eliza called from the next doorway down. “That’s Leah’s room. Your room’s right here.”

Caitlyn looked inside. The bed in the middle of the tan and cream room was neatly made with a fuzzy panda comforter, but it looked completely out of place. There room was filled with cabinets and table strewn with sewing supplies, bobbins, needles, spools of thread.

“Go on, make yourself at home,” Aunt Eliza said to her. “It’s a tad bit crowded just now. This was my sewing room. When I heard about your mom and dad I got started making some room for you. When the weekend comes, I’ll get the rest of my stuff out of there. I think we have a desk and a bookshelf downstairs we can bring in. It’s be real nice.”

Caitlyn sat down on the edge of the bed, slinging her backpack on the floor next to her. “Bed feels nice,” she said, trying to be friendly, trying to sound positive and grateful.

“Well, don’t get too use to it. We’re really gonna put you to work. Idle hands, you know what they say. Now don’t be thinking cuz you my flesh and blood you got some kind of priority around here over those other kids. They already learned how to work real hard and I get money from the state to take care of them. I’m takin’ care you purely out of the kindness of my heart. You remember that and earn your keep, and we’ll get along real well. Go ahead and unpack your things, look around a little. I want you in the kitchen ready to work in ten minutes.” Aunt Eliza turned on her heels and marched away.

Caitlyn felt stunned.  Or did she? Aunt Eliza had been mostly warm, and she had been honest. She had heard her mother say much worse things. She sighed, and laid down on her neatly made bed. Things were going to be different, but maybe that wasn’t a bad thing at all.

Ms. Dierdre took Caitlyn to her home to pack a few things. “Essentials,” Ms. Deirdre told her. “We can always send for other things later.”

The house was still a mess. It was always a mess really, with things cluttered on every counter and table, stacked in every corner, stuffed into every nook and cranny. But it wasn’t how it usually was, a frustrating cluster of junk. The dingy carpet glittered with glass fragments. Cupboards in the kitchen had been smashed in, shelves pulled down, ceramic dishes smashed to pieces. Ms. Deirdre took her shoulder and guided her down the hallway to her room. Caitlyn’s room was a mess too, but it was her mess, old homework crinkled and scattered on the floor around her desk. Her father had built her that desk a long time ago. The periwinkle walls were covered with magazine photos of the actors from her favorite show. Her bed was unmade. She suddenly didn’t feel so bad leaving all this behind. It was a dump anyway. She grabbed her favorite sweater and her coat, since it was only going to get colder, a few complete outfits, her pillow, the book she was reading and the next one in the series, and a the picture of her brother she kept in a frame on her desk. She stuffed it into her backpack after she emptied it. It was an awkward puffed up mess, but it all fit. Her life in a nutshell. How depressing.

Caitlyn witnessed firsthand how differnet her life was going to be in Dearborn. For an hour, Ms. Deirdre only drove past corn fields and cow pastures, occasionally big stretches of trees, but not much else. The corn fields gave way to small towns, houses, factories, still interrupted regular with patches of forest. Finally, the got to Detroit. Caitlyn had never seen such tall buildings. They towered over her as they zoomed along the highway. These magnificent structures of steel and glass sported some big company on the side, cellphone providers and banks. It was beautiful.

“haven’t you been to Detroit before?” Ms. Deirdre asked.

Caitlyn hadn’t. Ms. Dierdre chuckled at her awe. “I’ve been to New York,” she tld Caitlyn. “there are some big buildings.”

“is this what Dearborn is like?” Caitlyn asked.

“hmm, a little. Dearborn is a suburb of Detroit. It’s a lot smaller. Not so many big buildings. But there are a lot of great things to do. The Henry Ford museum is fun. There are lots of parks. You’re really going to like it.”

The cityscape broke again into factories and houses spattered with trees. The houses were small, a little smaller than the farmhouses she lived in in Birch Run. The yards were miniscule, but very well kept and colorful with flower beds and Japanese maples bursting with dark red leaves. It was one a clock when they pulled into the driveway of a yellow single story ranch. There were children’s toys in the front yard, a big wheel, some action figures. The sidewalk was dusted with chalk drawings. Caitlyn hoisted her bookbag out of the car, but then froze, afraid to go any further. She didn’t know this woman at all, except for what her mother had told her. Caitlyn realized her mother was an unreliable source, but something must have happened to come between two sisters in such a way, to make one sister hate the other. Caitlyn imagined hating her brother, Jeff. She didn’t even know how to start.

“It’s okay, Ciatlyn,” Ms. Dierdre said. “come on.”

Caitlyn shadowed Ms. Deirdre up the walk to the front door and let the case worker ring the bell for her. TA dog barked and a woman shouted, but they stood still on the porch. Caitlyn stared at the welcome mat in front of her feet. It was a religious reference. Caitlyn wasn’t sure if that felt welcoming or not. The door opened, and a woman pushed out the screen door, briskly welcoming them in, her hands filled with baskets of clothes. They shuffled in and the door closed behind them.

“Go on that way,” the woman pointed with her elbow. “get yourself a seat and relax, I’ll be with you in one more minute.” This woman, Caitlyn’s supposed aunt, had addressed ms. Deirdre entirely and had barely looked at her. But she did appear to be frazzled, her flowery apron was dusted in flour, the house smelled like fresh baked bread, and her hair was coming out of its pony tail.

Caitlyn sat on a tan corduroy couch and ms. Deirdre sat on a paisley lazy boy. A minute later, Aunt Eliza reappeared without her apron. She smoothed her long black hair into a new ponytail. She had severe features, a sharp nose and high cheek bones, and was somewhere between handsome and pretty. She smiled as she approached Caitlyn, jutted her hand out for Caitlyn to shake, and when Caitlyn grabbed her back, aunt eliza pulled her up out of her chair and held her at shoulder’s length.

“Look at you girl. Mm mm mm. I ain’t seen you since you were little. You have grown up. And around,” she added, poking at Caitlyn’s side. “We’ll take care of that. Lots to do around here, there shan’t be time for sittin’ around.”

“Hello, Mrs. Vaydick,” Ms. Deirdre said. “We’re so pleased that you’re here to help Caitlyn at a time like this.”

“Oh I know exactly what you mean. The Lord challenges us in so many ways. He’s been challenging my sister for so long now. Even before she met that man she married but he was the challenge that did her in. I hate to speak ill of your daddy, he being your daddy and all, but it is the truth. That man is no good, and he brought ruin to your mother. She used to be a wholly different person.”

Caitlyn didn’t know what to say to that, but she was relieved to hear it. She had felt that way herself, that it was her father that made things get so bad, that he was the instigator, that he made it worse. But that didn’t mean her mother was faultless. It didn’t mean that what happened was okay.

“I’m pleased to meet you,” Caitlyn said, practically whispered.

“Ain’t you sweet? You don’t remember me, do you? Poor thing. I used to watch you all the time when your momma worked. She did nights at the post office and you’d sleep at my house. I moved down here right before she met your daddy, and then everything changed. Tsk. Such a shame sometimes.”

“Mrs. Vaydick,” Ms. Dierdre said.

“Call me Eliza dear,” she said back.

“Eliza, I think it would be a good idea if Caitlyn got to know you a little bit. Why don’t you tell her about what your house is like.”

“Ah, of course. Well, Frank, that’s your uncle, he’s at work now. He works at the Ford factory not far from here. You’ll meet him tonight at dinner. He comes home at lunch sometimes, but not today. And I got three other kids livin’ here with me.”

“I didn’t know you had three kids,” Caitlyn said.

“Bless your heart, dear, no. I just got Jimmy. He is 26 already, my time just slips through our fingers. He lived in Escanaba in the U.P. We take turns for Christmas. Have you been to the U.P. before?” Caitlyn shook her head now. “Cold. Cold cold cold, but the snow sure is pretty and they love Christmas up there. We’re going up there this year, you will love it I am sure. So nice to spend Jesus’ birthday with good Christian people. Such a nice church Jimmy goes to. I’m a grandmother. I bet you didn’t know that either. He’s got two little little ones. I told Jimmy to slow down but he thinks it’s a race.

“No, I am a foster mother. God calls us to look after his children and that is what I do. I got three kids all different ages, but asdsad might be close enough to your age that you can be friends. Oh, honey, I’m sorry, how old are you now? It’s been so long.”

“Fourteen,” Caitlyn choked out.

“Yeah, asdsda is eleven, so maybe you can be friends. That would be nice. Oh, and frerf is seventeen. She’s a senior in high school. You’ll be going to the same school as she is. I bet she can show you around, introduce you. Sometimes she thinks she’s smart, but she’s a good girl. Boy, it sure will be a full house now with four children. Mm mm mm.”

Caitlyn stared at her fingers. She pulled and picked at her fingernails until she had bloody hangnails on most of her fingers. After all this, she thought a little angry, I’m still winding up in foster care.

“You’ll meet them in a few hours. They get home around 2:30. We’ll get you settled by then, and get you ready to start school tomorra. You’ll help me in the kitchen, we’ll get you right at home in no time.”

Caitlyn mustered a thank you.

“At least Beverly managed to teach you some manners.”

“Well, Eliza,” Ms. Deirdre said, “I’m do at the office soon. I’m sure you will call me if you need anything. Caitlyn,” she pulled a card out of her purse. I want you to call me too. You can still call Ms. Donna if you like, but I’ll be your case worker while you’re in Dearborn. And I’ll be checking in in a couple weeks to see how things are going. Especially school. Changing schools can be tough but ms. Donna told me you are very smart and you’re a hard worker, so I know you can get through the tough part with a little help. All right?”

Caitlyn took the card, held it tightly between her fingers. “Thank you for bringing me here,” she said. She didn’t know what else to say.

“It was a pleasure meeting you. I really mean that. I look forward to talking to you soon.”

Aunt Eliza walked her to the door. Caitlyn tried to listen to their conversation on the porch but could make it out other than how pleasant it sounded, like everything was going to be fine.

The door shut and Aunt Eliza came back in. she put the apron back over her head, and brushed the floor off the front.

“All right missy. I’m sure you probably had the run a’ the house back home. Your mom got her so far up her rear, she prolly just let you do whatever you l

Chapter three

Cookies, blueberry pie, honey wheat rolls, and a chocolate cake with homemade frosting. Caitlyn stretched her stiff back, wiped some sweat from her brow and pulled the apron over hear. For 2 solid hours she baked alongside Aunt Eliza, measuring, mixing, and kneading as directed. She was tired and sore, but she felt proud of herself in a way she hadn’t before. Mom never cooked, unless you counted Hamburger Helper, and she did not count Hamburger Helper. Caitlyn only knew how to cook scrambled eggs and sandwiches, and here she had just baked a variety of things that all looked and smelled delicious. And she had learned a lot. Whatever Aunt Eliza meant by that warning in her bedroom/sewing room, she had been very patient with Caitlyn as she learned her way around the kitchen. Aunt Eliza taught her how to read recipes, reading through the whole thing at once before starting, then reading through it step by step. And she made Caitlyn get all the ingredients measured first so it could be put together quickly. She learned the difference between baking soda and baking powder, loose and packed brown sugar, and worked with ingredients she had never seen before. Aunt Eliza told had learned to cook from her mother, Caitlyn’s grandmother, since she was young. Caitlyn didn’t know Grandma Reulig very well. She lived down in Florida. Caitlyn’s family had visited her grandparents once several years ago, but Caitlyn didn’t remember much about her. Aunt Eliza told her stories about growing up in Florida, the move to Michigan, and all of Grandma Reulig’s secret recipes.

“You did a fine job today,” Aunt Eliza said, also taking her apron off. “Let’s put these dirty ole’ things in the hamper and then I’ll let you get freshened up so you can meet every body looking clean and pretty.”

Caitlyn smiled warmly at that. She hadn’t thought of herself as pretty at all. And she knew she was a fair amount over weight which didn’t help. But she didn’t think her aunt would say something she didn’t actually believe, even to be kind. In the bathroom that Aunt Eliza said was for the children, she brushed her hair, washed her hands and her face and looked in the mirror. Her hair had grown several inches since her last haircut. It was well past her shoulders, the layers looked strange instead of cute like when she first had them. She searched the drawers for a ponytail, and swept her hair up so no one would see her stupid layers. She looked at her clothes. She always wore hand me downs, some t-shirts from her brother, but a lot of stuff neighbors or that had been donated during church drives or for Christmas. She had on a t-shirt that was too big for her and hang loosely all around her and black pants. The pants were covered in flour and sugar anyway. Caitlyn scavenged through her bag to see if she had anything better to wear, which was unlikely, but at least it could be clean. She put on a pair of dark blue jeans and a light hoodie. It was too warm still in early October to wear her favorite sweater that she brought. At least the hoodie was the right size for her. It would have to do.

Aunt Eliza had freshened up as well, her eyeliner looking crisp, lipstick looking fresh and wet. She had redone her hair so that it fell to her shoulders in soft curls. A few bobby pins held the left side and she wore a flowery dress and red patent shoes. “I usually work until the Frank gets home. Besides running a house with four kids, I do a lot of service for the church and sometimes for the school. When the kids get home, they do some chores around the house before they do their homework, and then after dinner, if everything’s all done, they can get some free time. But I thought since you need to get to know everybody, we could do things a little differently today. We’ll get to know each other over some cookies.”

Caitlyn smelled the cookies mingled in with the rolls and chocolate cake. “That sounds wonderful,” she said.

“Good. Make sure you only have one cookie. We’ve got some work to do getting’ all this under control,” she said, poking at Caitlyn.

It was embarrassing, of course, to hear someone talk about Caitlyn that way, but her mother had done it too. She listened to her mother for years complain about Grandma Reulig  being unkind about her children’s weight, then she turned around and did it to her own daughter. It must be a family thing, Caitlyn thought, something that happens when you’re raised that way. Parents have so much influence over their children, she thought suddenly. It made her stomach turn. What did that mean for Caitlyn?

She decided not to take it personally, and was just grateful she got to eat one of the cookies she baked. She was sure they were going to be delicious, and wanted to see for herself.

A girl’s voice called from the front hall. “Eliza, we’re home.”

“Don’t just holler at me, Grace, get on in here.”

The girl strolled into the living room, a little boy dragging along behind her. Grace was very pretty. She wore a pink blouse and matching pink tights under a knee length blue jean skirt. A string of pearls around her neck made her look sophisticated and elegant, even as the braces in her teeth and the barrettes holding back her long blonde hair made her look her age. The boy was maybe seven or eight. His hair was cut very short, and he looked down at his shoes. He was wearing a T-Shirt with a funny yellow cartoon dog.

“Oh, hey there Tom,” Aunt Eliza said. “What’s the matter?”

“Did she take my room?” the boy asked, his voice low, pointing at Caitlyn.  

“That’s not what a Christian would say, is it Tom? I want you to stop your slouchin’, stop you poutin’, and talk to this young lady like a Christian. You remember what you learned in bible school?”

Tom stood straight, forced a smile and said with a little more volume, “Hello. I’m Tom. I’m glad you have a place to stay now.”

Aunt Eliza swept the boy up in her arms and spun around the room. “That is so much better. That is kindness. We always have to be kind, don’t we, Tom?”

“Yes Eliza,” Tom said giggling.

“Guess what?”

“What?” Tom said.

“She didn’t take your room. I gave her the sewing room. What do you think about that?”

Tom hugged her tightly and called out in joy. Aunt Eliza looked at Caitlyn and said. “Boys and their space. What can you do? So what do we do now?”

“Chores,” Grace said.

“Ain’t you a good girl? Why don’t we take some time today to get to know Caitlyn? She made us some cookies.”

Cheers rang out from the two kids, especially little Tom. He threw his book bag off and ran to the kitchen, grace closely behind. Caitlyn heard chairs squeaking against the linoleum floor as they settled in.

The front door opened and closed again, and there appeared an older girl, practically a woman. She was very pretty, not so neatly put together as Grace, but Caitlyn was immediately jealous of her style, her body, her face, her make up. She wore light blue jeans that were filled with stylish holes and fading, a red glittery tank top and a black sweatshirt over that unzipped. She had on several long necklaces. She wore a thick line of eyeliner on the top lid and a bright, creamer eye shadow. Her hair was long and straight.

“Hello Leah,” Aunt Eliza said.

“Hello Eliza,” Leah said flatly.

“What took you so long?” Aunt Eliza asked. Leah shrugged and Aunt Eliza shook her head. “Try again.”

“My friend walked us home from the bus stop. We were talking a little more outside.”

“And is this friend a boy or a girl?”

“Why does that matter?”

“You know darn well why that matters and I already know it was a boy. We’ll talk about that later. Leah, this is Caitlyn, my niece. We are all going to get to know each other over some lovely chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen.”

“Do I have too?” Leah asked.

“You did not just that in front of her,” Aunt Eliza snapped.

Leah looked at Caitlyn, her eyes working their way from her worn out shoes to her to her pale face. Caitlyn wondered what she was thinking about, what Leah thought of her. “Hi Caitlyn. It’s nice to meet you. Did you make the cookies?” Her voice was slightly less flat, a little softer. Caitlyn imagined she was hearing sympathy.

“Yes, Aunt Eliza helped me.”

                “I have a lot of homework,” Leah said.

“Okay, we won’t keep you too long then,” Aunt Eliza said, her voice warm and caring. She was clearly pleased at how Leah turned her behavior around.

The kitchen table was long and heavy, made from dark wood and glazed. It had designs carved around the edge of the table and at the feet. There were two chairs on each side of the table, and one at each head. Aunt Eliza passed out napkins and then gave everyone a short cup of milk. She put the cookies on the table. Caitlyn didn’t want to be the first to grab one. She was always hungry but she hated to look like she cared about food as much as she did. She didn’t want people to think she couldn’t control herself, even though they probably did anyway because of her size. So Caitlyn waited for everyone else to grab one, but nobody did. Everyone sat at the table, hands in their lap, waiting perfectly still.

“Tom, why don’t you do it?” Aunt Eliza said as she sat down at the head of the table.

Tom folded his hands on top of the table, closed his eyes, and said very loudly, “Come Lord Jesus, be our guest. Let thy gifts to us be blessed.”

“Amen,” everyone chanted, and then hands flew to the platter of cookies, grace and tom loading the napkin up from the start. Caitlyn took her one cookie, and noticed Leah took only one as well. She’s so skinny, Caitlyn thought, she probably barely thinks about food anyway. She broke the cookie apart so she could eat each piece slowly and enjoy it. This wouldn’t be so bad, she thought. I’d give up cookies to look like Leah.