His eyes were the brightest of blues and his face looked as if it was created by God. The fact that he was a real angel confused me, but stunned me at the same time. Angels are what you see in stories and the Bible, right?

    Loving someone that couldn't stay hurts me from the inside out. And again, I am happy about it. I have a guardian angel that will watch over me until I die. And when I die, I will go to Heaven and see him again; and then we will live happily ever after. Hopefully I am right.

    Love is something that hurts you but makes you want more due to how happy you are when you receive it. Love has pain threaded into it, but is a remedy for pain. Pain is another thing to talk about. Right now, the only thing to talk about is love. Here is my story, of the angel that saved me.

Sometimes I wonder if life is even worth living. Then soon, I find myself wandering in my own thoughts of death and self harm. Most people are living in poverty, and upper class people are rubbing it in their faces by wearing expensive clothing and living in large homes. Why live in this broken world than having to die and never having to worry about anything? Why not just let go? Ha, look at me. Talking no one but myself. Who am I even talking to? A ghost? My self conscious? It doesn’t even matter. My father has always said that expressing my feelings would ease my depression. Well, might as well introduce myself.

                I’m Mikayla Walker. I am sixteen years old with depression. My mother died when I was about ten years old. I was diagnosed with depression when I was thirteen.  I live with my father and older brother, who is in the army at the time. No response, because I’m alone in this tragic world.

‘One more time.’ I thought to myself. I had been saying this for almost a minute and a half. My morning was already hell. I set my alarm too early last night on accident, and then stepped on a push pin getting dressed, and then I smashed my finger in one of the drawers of my dresser.

                I pressed the razor onto my right wrist once more; a couple drops of crimson read blood fell onto the bathroom floor. I cursed to myself and quickly, took a dirty wash cloth from the bath tub, then wiped it up. I wouldn’t want my father finding a red stain on his new tiled bathroom floor, then I having to come up with a lie, then I having to explain it to him for half an hour; what a pain. I heard footsteps behind the bathroom floor, and then a knock.

                “Mikayla, are you ready to go?” my father asked me after he knocked a couple of times. I grabbed toilet paper and wrapped it around my wrist quickly.

                “Yes, one minute.” I answered. I got up and brushed my long hair, and then checked my appearance, not that it really mattered to me. I wore a grey sweatshirt, and a pair of skinny jeans, with my black converse shoes. I then made sure that my right wrist was covered by the sweatshirt sleeve, it was. I turned around, opened the bathroom door, and then walked into the kitchen. The smell of buttery toast filled the room. I saw my school bag, which already had my school books in it, and then grabbed a piece of toast, then walked towards the door. As soon as my hand hit the door knob, my father kissed my forehead.

                “Have a good day honey.” He told me. I smiled and nodded. “I love you,” he added before stepping backwards towards the kitchen.

                “Love you too.” I told him, and then walked outside. It was cold; of course, this was the state of Washington. It’s always cold here; besides the small month of summer, and then it would be cold again mid-July. Right now, it was towards the end of April. Plus, it always rains here, luckily, it hasn’t rained yet.

                The bus stop was a few yards away. I actually liked it there. It had a small, green metal bench in case you want to sit instead of stand up the whole time you are there. When I got there, I took advantage of the bench and sat down; after putting my bag beside me on the ground.

                ‘Hell’

I raised my eyebrow as the word popped into my head. Apparently God is trying to tell me something. I haven’t done anything wrong in my life. Well, besides the time I stole that pack of gum in Walmart, which my dad had to pick me up from the store while a cop watched me. I also cussed out my seventh grade teacher, and recently I cussed out my tenth grade teacher.

                Okay I have done some messed up things, but I won’t do it again.

                I looked down to my IPhone, one of the old versions, and checked the time. It was seven fifteen; I have about ten minutes until the bus gets here. I sat quiet for a few minutes. Then a page flipping sound came from beside me. I looked up from the ground and looked beside me. I gasped as I saw a blonde headed boy sitting next to me, and by his size, not fat, he was around my age. He had his nose stuck in a novel. I tried to look at the cover, but it was on his lap, so I couldn’t guess what book it was.

                “Did I startle you?” he asked me. His voice was smooth and proper, and the right deepness too. His hair wasn’t bleach blonde; it had some brown highlights threaded into it.

                “A…A little,” I told him, stuttering a little at first. He looked up. I was taken by surprise again. His eyes were a bright blue, not a normal blue. The color was a shade of blue like the waters of the Caribbean or a blue jay’s feathers. His eyes were hard to look away from, just to be honest.

                “I’m sorry, I meant to tell you that I had sat down beside you,” he told me. “You looked as if you were deep in thought, I didn’t want to interrupt you.” He continued. I nodded to him and faked a smile.

                “You wouldn’t have interrupted me.” I told him. I’m not much of a people person; I don’t even know why I’m still talking to this guy. “I’m Mikayla.” I added. He smiled and held out his hand. I grabbed and shook it lightly.

                “I’m Kyle.” He introduced himself. “In case you were wondering, I have moved here from Michigan.” He told me. Our hands broke apart and we sat silently for a few minutes. “How is the school here?” he then asked me. Our school was terrible. There was drama (problems and rumors which leads to fights) everyday. Rude people and terrible teachers, but I am passing every class, thank God. Nethersville, Washington. That is the location of where I live at.

                “The school is good here in Nethersville, you will like it.” I lied to him. He smiled again and nodded. He looked like the guy you could lie to, but then suddenly I felt guilty. Thunder began to roll in the distance. I looked up to see grey clouds cover the sky. “It is going to rain.” I stated. I lifted my hood up onto my head. I looked at Kyle, who was rummaging through his back pack. Soon, he pulled out a red zip-up jacket. He put it on and pulled the hood up onto his head. When it started dripping down water, the bus rolled up. The ten minutes felt like an hour to me. Kyle was kind enough to let me on the bus first before him. I sat in the usual seat I sit in during the bus ride, and Kyle sat in the seat behind me.

                The bus ride was very loud. Small children were screaming in the front of the bus and some rocker girl in the back was playing heavy metal music in the back of the bus, out loud. I looked behind me to see Kyle reading his book. How can he read with this entire racket going on? Especially in an enclosed space.

The bus eventually arrived at the school. The rain had already begun pouring down hard, and it looks like it will rain the whole day.

                I was walking through the hallway to the cafeteria for breakfast. A little boy, around six or seven, had tripped over my foot on accident(I promise I didn’t trip him!).

                “Sorry miss.” He told me in a small boyish voice. I find younger children’s voices quite adorable, but annoying at the same time. There I go, being ambivalent again! I held out my hand to the boy. He grabbed it and I helped him up. He smiled and nodded. “Thank you.” He told me, and then began walking away. Children can be sweet but . . . never mind. I made my choice to never have children. Sure, being a mother could be fun, but too much stress of having a child hurt or crying would be too much for me. What a pain.

Today was as normal as can be: a fight in the hallway, getting frustrated with the teacher, and someone failing all tests that were on Wednesday. It is still raining outside, so much for having a good day.

Tiffany, my only friend here, and I sat in our usual spot during lunch. She had brown hair, green-brown eyes, and tan like skin from staying out in the sun (or so she says). I honestly think she goes to the tanning salon. Not to be mean or anything, but she’s going to get skin cancer.

She was running her mouth about an argument from a girl named Jamie, and how someone threw up in biology during the dissection of a frog, which was Cody, a clumsy fool. I didn’t pay attention much, her topics were not interesting to me; I pretended to listen by nodding my head and agreeing with her of whatever she is agreeing with. I snapped out of my trance that I was in and looked at Tiffany, who was calling my name.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked me, pulling a stand of brown hair behind her ear. I shrugged and poked at a piece of broccoli that was on my lunch tray.

“I’m not really thinking, just zoning out.  Why? Are you concerned or whatever?” I answered then asked. I put a bite of mashed potatoes in my mouth, which were as fake as ever.

“No, I was just curious, that’s all.” She told me. “What are you going to do about prom? Are you going this year?” I shook my head instantly. I never want to go to prom. It’s just a random dance for a dumb reason. I believe it is a waste of money and a huge waste of time. I sat in silence for a minute. Her face was threaded with hope and cheerfulness.

“You know the answer.” I simply told her. “Besides, if I did want to go, I wouldn’t have anyone to go with.” I added. “Do you even have anyone to go with you?” Tiffany sighed.

“I’m thinking of asking Daniel.” She replied. Daniel. He was one of the most attractive guys in the school. He was the captain of the football team, and he was the kind of guy that would get any girl that he wanted. However, I hate him. Hate is a strong word, but it is shorter than ‘I strongly dislike him.’

We both sat quiet for a few minutes. Tiffany stopped mid-sentence. I looked up to see her staring at someone or something.

                “What are you looking at?” I asked her. She pointed to the direction she was staring at.

                “Him.” She simply answered. I looked at the direction she was pointing at. Kyle was in the lunch line. “He’s cute.” She added. Kyle began walking around, looking for a seat; and possible making a fool of himself.

                “Kyle?” I questioned. Tiffany’s head snapped quickly and looked me dead in the eye.

                “Wait, you know him?” she asked. I sighed and shook my head slightly.

                “No. I met him this morning at my bus stop.” I told him. “I know of him.” I added. Tiffany’s eyes widened, then she smiled the biggest smile I have seen her do. We have been friends for a while, so I instantly knew what she was going to do.

                “Tiff, don’t you-“I was interrupted, she began waving her hand in the air, trying to get Kyle’s attention.

                “Hey Kyle! Over here!” she said aloud. Well, loud enough to where most of the lunch room looked at us. A wave of embarrassment washed over me. Kyle saw us and began walking over to our table. I gave everyone around us an apologetic smile, but in return, I got either eye rolls or a glare. I’m not very liked here, apparently.

                “Hello Mikayla. And you are?” Kyle greeted me as he sat down with us, and then asked for Tiffany’s name.

                “Tiffany Joseon.” Tiff replied. Kyle and Tiffany shook hands. “Kayla has told me a lot about you.” She lied. I shot her a glare. She scrunched up her nose and smiled even wider. I swear, the corners of her mouth were touching the bottom of her ears. I am beyond angry; it will take all of me to keep my temper down.

                “Oh, she has?” Kyle questions, and then he looked over to me. I quickly put a piece of broccoli in my mouth to prevent myself from making a comment.

                “Yes, she says that us three could be really good friends.” She lies again. I see that Kyle is still looking, well, staring at me. I fake a smile to him and he smiles back at me.

                “I would like that very much.” He answers. His silky voice had slowly diminished most of my anger. I just want to hear him talk again. No. Stop thinking like that. He is way out of your league (friend wise of course).

                “Let me have your phone number so we can make plans tomorrow, well, if you are free.” Tiffany then says. Kyle did so and they talked about how tomorrow, which was Saturday, would be warm and humid. I heard the word ‘pool’ and ‘water park’. I haven’t been in a water park in forever. Well, since my mother had died. Lunch ended quickly and I continued my day.

                First, I went to my locker and got out my biology book. After I closed my locker door, Kyle was standing behind; smiling widely, which should be a habit for him.  I swear I had jumped a little. Was he following me? The thought was annoying so locked it away tightly in a mental cellar.

                “What class do you have next?” he asked. I sighed and began walking to my next class. I heard footsteps behind me and soon Kyle was beside me. “You seem in a bad mood.” He told me.

                “Hmm, I wonder why.” I said with a sarcastic tone. I slowed my pace; I didn’t really want to go to biology right now. I don’t mind being late either.

                “What has you all upset?” he asks again. I stopped in my tracks and turned to him.

                “Your cheery attitude is annoying.” I told him. He didn’t seem affected; which annoyed me even more.

                “Would you rather have me be more like...” he pretended to think for a second. “Like this?” he questions and made a face that made him look like he was constipated. I almost laughed. I bit my lip to prevent the action and began walking again. I finally made it to my class, but during the walk, every time I turn around I would see Kyle, following me and still had facial expression. He acted like a child; it was actually kind of cute. Wait. No, don’t think that way.

                He sat by me in biology; which was quiet for a few minutes, but then Kyle spoke up.

                “Are you going to prom?” He whispered as quietly as he could to me. I pulled my eyes away from my biology book and looked at him.

                “No, what makes you think that? Are you making me to go with you?” I asked him. He shook his head and smiled, again for the hundredth time today.

                “No, Tiffany, your friend, said that you were.” He told him me. I rolled my eyes. Of course, she would actually have the courage to drag me to her house, strap me into a death trap called a ‘dress’ and drag me again to prom. That’s Tiff enough for you.

                “Mhm..okay.” I said with a sarcastic tone, same way as I did in the hallway. I thought I had hurt his feelings for calling him annoying, but apparently he is too cheery to notice. He’s one of those guys that always look to the positive side of things. What is the positive side of being annoying? There is none. God, this guy is so complicated.

                The day ended quickly. The bus ride was quiet for once, due to the bad mood the bus driver is in. When I got home, I was confused. I had emotions that rattle through me. I was excited, annoyed, and nervous. First of all, why am I excited? I shouldn’t be. I’m only going to get out of the house.