After publishing a taster book of poems, this book will go more into depth as my life in drinking unfolds through prose and poems. I can only thank God for giving me this gift of writing poetry as a means of putting down thoughts and memories of the past. In the hope that someone may find comfort and help, knowing that they are not alone. Knowing others have gone through the same hell and found a way out. In my case God took me from that mire and set my feet on solid ground, and anyone wanting His help WILL get it when they give their life to Him.

So, folks, please take some time to read each poem and feel the true life that they depict.
It is possible to have your life turned back round when you are at rock bottom.

This book acknowledges the hardest of times my family went through trying to help me. They never gave up on me even though I had given up on myself. Attempted suicide numerous times and not as a cry of help, I truly wanted to die and stop hurting them. Being brought up in a Christian family, my Dad a minister and I a qualified nurse who went to church regularly, it was difficult to imagine I ever went down that road.

I cannot remember a lot of things I did, but know by what I was told that stealing from my family and friends was part of it. Lying so much that for years after I was still not believed or trusted.

We as addicts do not realise the hurt and stress that we cause family and close friends, we are too wrapped up in ourselves. However all this can be forgiven and put to the back of everyones minds, never forgotten in lots of cases, but forgiveness is the key to the family recovering.

God blessed me with a caring loving family. My Dad had passed away before the alcoholism came to the fore.Mum and my brother and sisters, George, Grace and Ruth and Graces husband Michael, spent a long month or more trying to get me sober, the only way they knew how. Making sure all my movements were known. I still wasn't ready to stop, even though I cried myself to sleep and hated what was happening to me.

I came back home to Douglas and the kids and it took another year before I finally got on my knees and screamed to God for help. God had also given us good praying friends in church who rallied round Douglas and the kids while I was away and when on my return, they helped greatly in my recovery.

Douglas family also didn't abandon me so I was blessed more than a lot of other addicts whose family and friends left them to go their own way.

God heard my cries and though a very hard and scarey process, I started on the road to recovery. I tried AA and though they work wonders for so many I did not find AA helped me. Only holding on to the prayers I knew were being said for me, not only from family, church family and other churches, was I able to get to where I am now. 5 years and 3 months sober.

I owe my life to my Father God, for never leaving me, even though I left Him.

 Does it matter who is right and who is wrong,

Why do we all pander to that same old song?

God asks us to be friends

Until our journey's end

Give up the worldly attitudes

Dawn those of grace and love.

Be more like Him

Stay free from sin

Love all, every colour, creed, kith and kin.

God knows our hearts so lets be smart

Always remember that we are part

Of God's awesome plan!