"You think I should go back and check in the room again?" I asked Teppie, digging deeper into my bag.

I could feel her shaking her head at me. "I doubt it's there. You should really be more careful with your things."

And, that was the start to her usual sermon. In this aspect, she seemed more like my mother than my best friend. But, I couldn't really blame her. She was so obsessive compulsive that it probably irked her so much to be around a slop like me. It makes me wonder how we've been friends for so long. But maybe it was like the opposites attract thing.

"Oh!" I exclaimed triumphantly, my hand reemerging with my glasses. "Found it!"

I put the spectacles back on, humming to myself, before noticing the unusual silence. I looked back at Teppie who had fallen a few steps behind me. Her mouth hung open like she was in the middle of a word when Medussa turned her into stone.

"What?" I asked, meaning to approach her but my movement seemed to have snapped her out of her trance. She was instantly animated, gesturing wildly with her hands. Despite this, she remained mute, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly. Confused, I turned to the direction she kept pointing at.

I couldn’t understand what the big deal was. Until I saw him. His dark hair. His smooth, chiseled face. His broad shoulders and long legs. But, most of all, his smirk. That was the thing that I was attracted to in the first place. His smirk just screamed of self-confidence and that, to me, was the sexiest thing a guy could have. That coupled with his swirling green eyes was perfection. Or, as close to perfection as you’ll get in this world, at least.

I wanted to stare into those forest green orbs but was caught off-guard to find them already trained on me. I had to look away- look anywhere but at his piercing gaze. That was when I noticed the bouquet of roses in his hands. He was probably going to give it to some girl. The burning sensation rising from the pit of my stomach caught me off guard. I had no reason to be jealous. He was, after all, just my crush. I had no claims to him.

I looked around, curiously. Who could the lucky girl be? But to my confusion, he kept walking toward me. A small part of me- the embarrassing part of me that clung onto daydreams- squealed and I can’t deny that I allowed myself to believe that he was indeed walking toward me. That delusion only lasted for a second before the better part of me threw ice cold water on my face. I was probably just in his way. So, I took a few steps to the side expecting him to just walk past me. But he didn’t. Instead, he stopped in front of me and held out the bouquet.

My blood ran cold. While I was, just moments earlier, wishing and hoping that the roses were intended for me, having him actually do it was making me anxious. Scratch that. It was downright nerve-wrecking.

No way.

Someone squealed just behind me. I'm pretty sure it was Teppie. I wanted to tell her to quiet down but I was too busy trying to wrap my head around what was happening.

"Leanne," he breathed out.

How was it possible that my name sounded so much different coming from his mouth?

"I don't really know how to say this but-"

I couldn’t look at his face. Not when he was giving me a rather sincere look. So, I just stared at the bouquet he was holding out to me. That was when it hit me. The roses, the somewhat awkward stance, Teppie's squeals. It was like a nightmare come to life.

I was pretty sure he was still talking when a banshee-like scream tore through my chest and I fled the scene like a hell hound was after me.

I have a crush. Ridiculous, I know. But give me a break. Crushes are perhaps the only grace given to people like me. What do I mean by people like me? It's simple really. The nobodies .The shadows. The wallpaper. And, occasionally the tissue paper and the punching bag. People like to think that the world has long gone past social stigmas and good ol’ bullying. But, the thing is, we haven't. I'm living proof of that.

Just as I was thinking this to myself, I got pushed back to the end of the cafeteria line by some cheerleaders in their short-like-panties skirts and tight-fitting tops. There was no "excuse us" or "sorry". None of them even looked at my direction. I roll my eyes at them but just let them be. Anything more would have had been wasted effort on my part. Besides, it didn’t matter. It's not like they have something against me. It's more like they don't see me. I don't exist in their world. And, that's okay. Because they don't really matter in my world either.

When I finally get to the front of the line, I see the same array of food available to us. I mindlessly reach out to a few that seemed to tickle my fancy and only notice by the time I reach the counter that I had piled my tray with mashed potato, garden salad, pasta, a sandwich and a box of juice. Shrugging off the amused look of the cashier, I automatically headed toward my usual table to the far left of the cafeteria, right next to the kitchen. The one beside the kitchen doors that keep opening and closing. The one where nobody wants to sit. Yup, that one.

It was the table that made me realize that I was probably the most unwanted kid in the school. Even the people from the chess club didn't like me. Although, that probably had something to do with me accidentally calling the pawn piece a rook. I can feel my face flaming from the memory. It didn't help that they still snicker at me every time I walk past their table.

I try not to let them get to me- any of them. So I usually just pull on my poker face and look at my goal- that table. I was still a few tables away but I could already see my best friend waiting for me with a murderous look on her face. She had one hand on her waist and was tapping her foot impatiently.

Uh-oh.

I knew from experience that the best way to deal with an angry Teppie was to apologize as soon as possible. So, I tried to think of what I did to piss her off but I just couldn't. So, when I reached the table, I went with a simple "Heeeey!"

No dice. She didn't even laugh at how my voice broke in the middle of that one syllable.

"What happened to you?" she said, taking a seat opposite me. "One minute I’m talking to you and the next I'm being cornered by the blonde brigade."

I sighed in relief. Apparently, her murderous intents weren't directed at me- not fully, at least.

"I don’t want to join their cult. I don't know how many times I have to say that before they get it through their thick skulls." She started eating her fries. "Maybe their brains got damaged from the chemicals they keep using to dye their hair blonde."

"Squad," I said, biting into my sandwich. Her eyebrows furrowed. "It's a squad not a cult. And, there are some real blondes in that group. I think there are even two or three brunettes in there."

I was concentrating on my food so I don't get any stains on my shirt. I was messy like that. But, it was probably because of my preoccupation that I didn't notice Teppie taking aim at my face. The French fry hit me near my left eye, leaving a trail of grease as it fell off my face.

"Eeew!" I exclaimed, flicking the fry off of my pant leg and taking a napkin to wipe the oil off my face.

"Of course I know all those things! I don't need you to give me facts. You're supposed to show me that you’re on my side by bashing them," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Gosh, Leanne! Sometimes you just suck at being a best friend."

"Oh, okay. Uhm," I had to think long to come up with something and I could see her waiting. "The blonde airheads probably don't know red when they see it...?"

Her entire body slumped down and she looked at me with blank eyes. "What?"

I could feel my face reddening up. "I don't know! I mean, you have red hair and they're blond and, and-" I raised my hands up, surrendering. Besides, it didn't matter at that point. She was laughing so loud, some people were giving us looks.

That's why Teppie is a real red head. She easily reaches the peak of her anger meter but she comes down from it as easily enough. Teppie- Stephanie Hail to those who don't know her well- is gorgeous. Even now that she's bent over, laughing her guts out. It was no wonder that the blond brigade, as she so lovingly called them, kept pestering her to join their squad. It wasn't just her looks, either. She was a great dancer. It always made me wonder why she chooses to hung out with someone like me when she could be one of the populars.  

I had finished my sandwich and was halfway through my pasta and salad when Teppie finally calmed down. She sat up straight and was wiping tears off the corner of her eye.

"I keep forgetting how much you suck at things like that," she said, still trying to catch her breath.

Just then, the kitchen doors opened and out came Carlos, one of the kitchen assistants. He was balancing a tray filled with food. He turned to us and gave us a warm smile. "How are you girls doing?"

"Wonderful!" Teppie had to twist in her seat to look at him.

"You look happy," I noted, seeing a wider than usual smile on his face. He was always smiling.

He laughed. "Yes, it's a great day, you see!" He pointed at the gray clouds outside.

I gave him a weird look but he didn’t seem to notice because the next thing I knew we were being offered food.

"Would any of you like some burritos?"

"Oh! Thank you!" Teppie immediately grabbed a few, placing them on the table between us.

Carlos bid us goodbye and all I could do was shake my head at Teppie. She just shrugged at me. It wasn't her fault, I suppose. Carlos always offered us food, insisting that the staff usually brought home the extra food by the end of the day, anyway. I still felt a bit guilty each time but I've managed to enjoy this perk over the past few weeks. Carlos was one of the reasons why I didn't hate this table so much, anymore. I hadn’t expected to find a friend in one of the staff but that was exactly what he had become to us. He was a constant source of joy and warmth. I envied his ability to face each day with a smile.

I was just about to take a bite of my burrito when someone grabbed it from me.

"Hey!" I snapped, glaring up at the tall blond. I punched him in the arm as soon as he sat down beside me. "Get your own food, Ty."

"Aw," he groaned, his mouth full of food. I scrunched my nose at him but he didn't seem to care. "Hey, Teppie!"

I could feel my best friend sit up straighter. She used a hand to brush down her perfectly styled hair. "Hi, Tyler!" she greeted back.

Tyler was another reason why I didn't mind this table so much. He usually drops by a few times a week. He was one of the cool kids who didn't mind being seen with losers like me. Or maybe it was just because I was with Teppie. I wasn't sure. But, Teppie had a huge crush on him. That much was obvious to me. I sometimes wonder why they haven't gotten together yet. I was pretty sure he knew she liked him.

They started talking about their photography instructor so I zoned out a bit. I was supposed to take the same elective class as them but Ms. Jones pulled me into Theatre Arts before I could say no. I didn't even know how she knew me. But it would be quite a disappointment to her once she realizes I can't act. Then, like a well-aimed bullet, it hit me- center mass.

"Dung beetles!" I cursed, eating so fast I was pretty much just shoving as much of my food into my mouth as I could. That is, until I choked.

Ty started patting my back, offering me my juice. I drank until I emptied the whole box. "What's the rush, Cole?"

Taking a breath, I looked at the clock. "I forgot I had to meet with the drama club this lunch." I stood up, grabbing my bag. "See you guys, later!" I was already walking away from them.

In my rush, I didn't notice that there was someone on the other side of the door. So, when I pushed the door open, I didn't know I'd be hitting someone in the face.

"Sorry! I-" I apologized but he cut me off.

"It's fine," he said gruffly before turning to go inside the cafeteria.

I barely got a glimpse of his face but I was sure that it was him. It was obvious from the way he walked. But just to be sure, I watched as he sat down in the center table and smiled at his peers. It was a million-watt kind of smile. Yup, it was definitely him. And, just like that, I could feel my heart beating fast. I had to cover my face with my mouth before someone saw my crazy wide grin. There was a time when I didn't know what this phenomenon was but it was clear to me now.

Crush.

(n).       1. A person whose mere presence makes your heart flutter.

2. A person who causes you to smile like an idiot even if all you saw was the back of his/her head.

3. A person whose smile can cheer you up at any given moment (even if the smile wasn’t meant for you).

 I was late, I knew that. But, I couldn't tear my eyes off of him. I probably should have just left because then, I wouldn't have seen the head cheerleader- Veronica, I think, was her name- sit on his lap like it was her place to do so. Unwilling to see anything more, I willed myself to walk away. It wasn't the first time I saw him with another girl but it still hurt. I keep forgetting that that was part of the bargain, too.

4. A person to whom you’ve relinquished the power to crush you.

I took a deep breath and just remembered his smile. It didn't matter that he was with other girls. He was still my crush.

Adam Reed.

Even the mere thought of his name made me smile.

I was late. That much was obvious. The club held their meetings at the theatre. I used to enjoy the high ceiling, cool ventilation and the unveiling of certain tricks for shows. That is, until I realized how difficult it is to get to the theatre from any of my classes much less the cafeteria. It was located in the opposite wing of the school building.

So, even after I ran as fast as I could, I was certain it was no good. As I stood huffing and puffing in front of the door, I considered whether I should just skip this meeting.  But, I knew somewhere deep inside me that skipping a meeting would just be putting myself higher on the other members’ most hated list.

And, I couldn’t afford to have that happen. They already hated me for supposedly being the teacher’s favorite. It’s not true, of course. I haven’t even figured out how Ms. Jones knew me. But, that doesn’t change the fact that to the other members of the club I pretty much waltzed in after they had to go through auditions.

Making up my mind, I took a deep breath as I gently opened the door, wishing hard that it wouldn’t make a sound. I was hoping I’d get to sneak my way into a chair without them noticing. But, luck- if such a thing even existed- was never on my side. Because the door creaked in that loud, echoing way, alerting everyone where I was. And, just like that I could feel the glares trained on me.

Muttering a sorry to the air, I tried to make my way toward them as quickly and as quietly as I could. But being the complete and utter klutz that I was, I managed to trip on some hidden cords under the carpet, nearly landing on my face. I bit back my yelp and tried to get up with as much of my dignity intact as I could manage. I couldn’t see my face but from the heat creeping up my neck, I was certain I was reddening from the embarrassment.

There was giggling and snorting. I’m pretty certain there were even some taunts thrown in there. But I blocked them all out, focusing instead on Ms. Jones who was motioning for me to sit on the empty chair in front of her.

“Quiet down, now.”

Like magic, everyone turned back in their seat to face her. She was sitting on the edge of the table, her back to the stage. She handed me a stack of paper which I realized was copies of the script for the winter play the school held every year just before school let out for the break. I took a copy and handed the rest to the petite girl just behind me.

“The Glass Slipper, A Fairytale Retold,” the tall brunette read the title as she was handed a copy.

She sat with perfect posture, her back straight and her legs elegantly crossed. She was the first one I noticed during my first meet up with the group. It wasn’t just because she hadn’t treated me badly, though I was thankful for that. It was probably because she exuded such confidence. I think I remember her being in the previous school plays. She was always part of the main cast even during her freshman year. Just being in her presence makes me giddy with awe. She was talented, that was for certain.

“Isn’t the whole Cinderella thing a bit too overused already?” she asked.

I felt like a brick got dropped onto my head. That was the other thing I noticed about her. She just blurts out whatever comes out of her mouth no matter who it was she was talking to. But, it’s not like I can blame her for questioning the script. I was saying the exact same thing in my mind. I’m pretty certain everyone was.

“You’re right, Cassandra. The story of Cinderella has been exploited and overused so much so that it’s already a cliché. But, Theatre is an art of storytelling. It brings focus to how the story is told as much as or even more than it does to the story itself,” Ms. Jones explained, turning to look at all of us. “This coming winter we will be presenting this cliché using a new perspective. Why don’t we let our director-slash-writer explain this further?”

A tall, lanky guy stood beside Ms. Jones. I remember him introducing himself as Jasper during our first meeting. He had looked at me with curiosity far beyond what you would expect from a total stranger. It was almost as though he was sizing me up, measuring me against a standard. I wasn’t sure what he heard about me but it seemed as though he was waiting for me to do something magical. Something along the lines of growing wings and flying, maybe.

There was a noticeable stillness in the room as they waited for him to speak. Clearing his throat, he opened his mouth to talk but snapped it shut when his eyes landed on me. He was giving me a weird look. I couldn’t help the squeak that came out of me as I snatched my copy of the script up to my face. I think he caught me staring blankly at him. I was afraid he’d call me out in front of everyone but instead, he just continued explaining the concept of the script.

Just like that, I was flipping through pages with them as they went over the plot and the scenes and the new take it has on the fairytale. A few pages in, I had to admit the idea was actually quite good.

“No auditions?” the petite girl behind me echoed what Ms. Jones just said.

“I’m afraid preparations for this year’s play started too late. We don’t have the time for another set of auditions for the casting of roles. Instead,” she said, putting up a hand to stop another girl at the back- Tiffany, I think- from asking a question she already knew was coming. “Jasper and I decided to make the casting based on the auditions for your entry into this club.”

“Then, what about her?” Tiffany pointed at me. “She didn’t even audition!”

There were murmurs of agreement all around and I couldn’t have felt more outnumbered than at that moment. I didn’t know what to do. I felt defensive. I wanted to tell them that I didn’t want to be there either. As much as I have gotten used to unwarranted antagonism, I still didn’t like it. But then, I got to thinking. Maybe if they opposed my being there, Ms. Jones would come to her senses and let me go. Then, I’d be free to sign up for the photography class. Suddenly, I felt re-energized. But the feeling was short-lived, and I felt myself deflate at the response Ms. Jones gave.

“That’s right, I scouted her myself. Are you questioning my judgment?”

That shut up everyone. But it was obvious from their disgruntled expressions that they weren’t happy with the way things were going. That didn’t bode well for me. I was so afraid to look at the others that I hardly moved from my spot. I didn’t even give a proper goodbye to our adviser as she walked out just a few minutes before the first bell.

The doors thudded close behind her. As if on cue, all the mutterings and whispers turned into complaints and shouts of discontent. I was afraid they’d maul me but instead, they went over to Jasper and bombarded him with questions.

Exasperated, he held up his hand and spoke, “Look, if she’s good enough for Ms. Jones she’s good enough for me.”

He looked over at me for a second and I almost smiled at him. I thought that perhaps I had found a friend in this place. But I regretted thinking that the next moment when he opened his mouth to say, “Besides, the casting hasn’t been finalized yet. She might end up being an extra for all we know. So, just wait for the final announcement.”

That hurt. I wanted to hit him with something- anything. I wasn’t even sure whether I was more annoyed that he thought me to be so unskilled or that he spoke as though I wasn’t right there within earshot of what they were saying.

The first bell went off and they slowly trickled out the door, somewhat pacified by what Jasper said. I was just about to leave when he called out to me.

“Yeah?” I asked, trying to keep my annoyance from showing.

He slung his bag over his shoulders and made his way to me. “I don’t see it.”

“What?”

“I don’t see it. Whatever it is that made Ms. Jones insist that you be made part of this play.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” I muttered, still somewhat annoyed at my current situation.

He looked to be lost in thought before shrugging. “Whatever it is, it better be good. Because when they find out what she’s done, they won’t make it easy for you.”

“What?” I asked, as he walked past me. “What does that even mean?”

“It means practice. And, practice hard.” He gave me one last look before walking out the door.

Dumbfounded, I just stood there. It was only the sound of the second bell that snapped me out of it. Horrified, I realized that I was once again running late and my next class was two floors up in the other wing.

This was most definitely not my day.