I wasn't coping well after losing the baby, my husband blamed it on me, said I through myself down the stairs.Now that devastated me, imagine having that thrown at you aswell as losing your child. I couldn't cope, I turned to alcohol.My husband couldn't look at me. He couldn't touch me. He couldn't kiss me and he ended up moving out. I remembered one night he came back, because he left some stuff and we ended up arguing again.I drove to the pub that night , I just drank too much . I got in my car that night still drunk. A child ran in the road and a swerved..... and crashed. The next thing I remember I was in a hospital bed , I had many visitors when I was in hospital, my Brother and Sister came back and I hadn't seen them in years.Even my husband came back.But then I was alone again and this is when it all began.

The first time I opened my eyes and glared at my mother and father I knew they were the pair I loved the most. Growing up on a farm was a benefitial 19 years of my life as I grew up mature, independent and confident. I wasn't the closest to my parents as they were always working around on the farm. By the time I was 10 I had the responsibility of looking after our 3 dogs Jasper, Lola and Monty. By the time I was 17 I was also helping my Dad on the farm in his tractor, it was time I moved on from the same routine I did everyday.Waking up to the lingering smell of horse manure wasn't the life I wanted to live anymore so I thought to myself it was time to move on, and live a life where I could be free and where I could enjoy myself with nothing getting in my way and bothering me.

 At age 21, I moved into the city as it was something different. It was nice to experience different things and to be able to relax. I had a huge flat with the money I earned from working on my parents farm.Living life on my own was relieving but also quite lonely at times. As I had no friends in the city or relations close by. I wasn't starting my new job until next month, so I thought to myself I need to go out and socialise, meet new friends and have fun.

Thats when I first decided I wanted to go to university and study science.I had all my GCSE's and A levels to do the course, so I thought why not? A month later I moved in to Cambridge University. I shared a dorm with another girl who was doing the same degree as me, so it was nice to talk to someone who I had things in common with and someone I could trust whilst going through the 3 years at University.