"You're faking, you're lying, it's only anxiety," are only a few of the phrases, that have been said to me. "Nobody even likes her, She’s ugly." Are only a few of the phrases that have been said behind my back. In high school, stuff like that spreads like the plaque, fast and only ends bad. Words, sentences, and phrases, may only be just that to you, but to the outsider, it goes much deeper. Those words, sentences, and phrases burrow themselves into the back of your brain. Those 'simple' things that are meant as 'no harm' mean more harm than you can imagine. The more said to your face and behind your back, the deeper it hides itself. Like a child, hiding away until it's mother comforts them, these feelings buried in the deepest holes, need someone else to dig them out. I never expected for it to be you, heck, you were the last person I ever expected. But, you unraveled me, you tore apart my secrets. You opened up my thoughts, my brain, my soul. You traveled into my forbidden thoughts, and changed my perspective of life, and I will always be grateful for that. 

 -Vega XoXo

   Thursday, October 3rd, 2018.

                       •Vega•

I've always thought of sleeping as a strange thing. One moment I’m just laying there, worrying and contemplating the day ahead of me. A vast storm of thoughts, twisting through my brain, trying to think of ways to solve problems that don't yet exist. The next, I’m awake, and the reality of my problems kick in. My thoughts started when my head hit my velvet pillows and stopped when my alarm sounded. 

     I check my timer, "Ugh." I sigh, as I realize the time displayed in front of my lock screen. My lock screen is a picture of my dog, Marble. His name originates from his marble like fur, and as displayed on the lock screen, his fur is Pulled up and messy. He looks pretty rugged. Marble has never been a perfectly groomed show dog, but I don't mind. The way he licks my face to calm an anxiety attack, or lays beside me (even though he prefers to lay by your feet) when I'm sad, proves that Marble is my closest friend. It sounds sad, but the phrase, "A mans best friend," (referring to a dog) is true. I can trust Marble more than any human.

My phone beeps, causing me to jump from my thoughts back into the real world. My second alarm goes off, warning me how late I'll be if I don't get up. Pulling myself out of bed, I grab my outfit placed out for me from the night before. Going back to school after being sick for a week is never easy, maybe having a little organization can help me, maybe not. 

                   •Thorn• 

As my alarm blares through my eardrums I climb out of bed and pull on a black hoodie. It's  simple, but for a day like this, I think it's fine. Simplicity is key, at least for today. 

My favorite book, "I will never be the same," sits across from my bed. I hesitate on bringing it, I need to keep up the "bad boy" persona, if I want to make it in high school. 

This whole reading hobby started last summer. It was a long and rough three months, and I guess, “I will never be the same”, was like my safe haven. Reading it brought me into the life of someone else, Ash a sixteen year old teenager with Trigeminal Neuralgia. Trigeminal Neuralgia is a disturbance to the nerves in your face, typically from a trauma. Ash is one of the few teenagers with the worlds most painful disease, yet, he’s still stronger than me. 

Stepping into the bathroom the mirror reflects my appearance. I stare at the eyes girls have called, an ocean, my lips that have kissed several girls, and my raven black hair that slightly topples to one side of my face. A couple of curls cascade in front of my eyes as I gel them back. It's not easy being the new kid, but maybe if I play the classic "bad boy" I might just survive, maybe not. I pull on my backpack and grab the breakfast my mom made me, I know I won't eat it, but grabbing it will make her feel good. Sometimes I think about all the times girls have called my eyes an ocean, referring to the blueness of them. I think I'm more like a lost raft in the middle of an ocean. Trying to find an island, or the girl who can see that I'm the raft and not the ocean. 

                     •Vega• 

The bus pulls up, and I can feel the anxiety rising through my bones. My hands begin to sweat, and the ground beneath my boots shakes. Anxiety isn't easy, it feels like I'm drifting away from the planet, watching myself look like a nervous reck. Well, I already knew I look like a nervous reck. When the bus door swings open, I finally return to my body. 

The bus is crowded, and only one seat remains next to Lyra. Her golden blond hair is put up into a messy bun, and her makeup looks like it was done by a professional, she has been doing it since she was nine. As I walk closer to where she's sitting, she looks up from her phone and smiles, "I saved you a seat." I take the seat next to her. We've never been best friends, but we've been good friends since before school. She's one of those friends that you just can't tell if they’re being genuine or fake. I've never been able to trust her with any of my wandering thoughts, I've never been able to trust anyone with them, maybe my  wandering thoughts are just meant to wander. 

"Wow you've been gone for a really long time!" She smiles at me and pretends to have sympathy. I hold back my eyes from rolling and say, "Yeah, I have." I think she can hear how annoyed I am in my voice because she changes the subject, and to nobody's surprise, it's about guys. 

"I heard there's a new guy in school." She winks and continues to talk about every other guy in our school that she finds attractive. I count almost twenty. I have always had a hard time understanding how people like her are popular. Fake smiles, fake sympathy, fake friendship, what’s so likable about that?  

The bus pulls up and I follow Lyra into the school. I remind myself several times to keep my head up, then people won't recognize that you were ever gone. They always do though, I have ten people ask me where I was by the time I reach my locker. None of them actually care about me, truly. 

                      •Thorn•

My mom drove me to school today. I tried to ride the bus but she stopped me before I could even make it down the steps. 

I follow her into a modern and simplistic office, and we sit there until a women walks in. She's middle aged and her dark brown hair sits gently on top of her shoulders, I’m assuming the principle. "Good morning, Mrs.Potter." She smiles towards my mom. Then they begin talking about enrollment, classes, and rules. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be listening, but my attention is on someone else. A girl with long wavy brown hair walks outside the office. Her face is confused and she looks worried. She passes by the office, as if she didn’t know it was there, and then she walks back and enters through the door. I almost laugh. My eyes focus away from the hallway through the glass window, and focus on the girl as she enters. 

                   •Vega•

It's my first day back, and I'm already called into the office. I can't think of what it's for, I have doctors excuses for the whole week. I pass the office on my first try, it's embarrassing, I try not to look like I care. Which of course, I do. How could I forget where the office is?When I enter a set of bright blue eyes are on me. His arms are crossed and he's slightly slumped down in his seat. His dark hair is flowing off to one side. Why is he staring at me, do I have something on my face? I reach up and tuck my hair behind my ear nervously. I gaze around the room noticing another woman along with the principle.  

"Ms.Dixon, welcome." She gestures me closer to her desk with her hand. The boy is analyzing me, and I feel like every thought in my brain is being processed and examined. I say a little prayer that he can't read minds because this is what I'm thinking, is my hair greasy, am I walking weird, acting weird? If someone could read my thoughts, I would be in an asylum by now. 

"This is Thorn Potter." She glances toward the boy and then shifts her eyes back to mine. Now everyone's eyes are on me. The rush of panic starts it’s path through my veins.

"Hello." I say, what else am I supposed to say? 

The boy smiles at me in a way of saying hi back. All I'm thinking though is, that smile, lord, who did he get that smile from. When I realize that they are talking to me I zone back in. All I hear is this, "Is that okay with you?" I nod, whatever it is I will find out. The woman next to Thorn, most likely his mom, says goodbye and walks out of the room. Then, Mrs. Pratt hands me three papers stapled together. All of a sudden we're out of the room and in the busy hallway. Girls are passing by us and winking, blushing, and smiling towards Thorn. That’s all the girls at my high school know how to do. I roll my eyes. 

"What?" He laughs, who did he get that laugh from, lord help me. 

"Nothing." I shake my head and look down at the papers. Then, I realize why I was called down to the office, I'm going to be his helper. Most of his classes are the same as mine, which should help. I'm about to ask him if he wants to go find his locker, when Winter Pierce walks up and hands him her phone number. I walk away, hoping he will follow me, and he does.

                   •Thorn• 

I don’t know anything about her, I just met her, but I already like her. A girl brushes pass me in the hallway interrupting my thoughts, she’s wearing a tight black skirt and a crop top. She hands me a slip of paper, and as if on cue, Vega walks away. And of course, I follow her like a lost puppy, which I kind of am. 

                      •Vega•

For once in my life I feel in charge, I’m the pedestrian and he’s the lost puppy wandering the streets. We both know it. 

“Where are we going?” He asks, catching his breath from chasing after me. 

“To your locker.” I continue walking. I gaze through the faces of my peers, most of them I recognize. I see a group of girls huddled by their lockers, all wearing the same shade of pink, who have boyfriends, wink and wave at Thorn as we pass them by. 

“I think you’ll do fine here.” I say, with a little hint of annoyance in my voice. 

“Why do you say that?” 

“Because every girl we’ve seen has fainted on sight.” I continue on walking when he laughs, hoping he won’t see me blushing. His laugh, I think to myself, is amazing. It’s one of those laughs that ring through your ears and makes you happy, the ones that make people laugh back, today I don’t feel like laughing.

                     •Thorn•

She walks away and gently covers her face a little, I can tell she’s hiding a blush, but I don’t mention it. Soon we’re at my locker, and a wave of awkward silence rushes through. She’s looking through the hallway at all the girls staring at us. I wonder what she’s thinking. 

                     •Vega• 

We reach his locker and it couldn’t be anymore awkward. All the girls in the country are either glaring at me, or, googling ways to seduce Thorn on their phones. Both of them annoy the crap out of me. Pretty soon I’ve dropped him off at his class, and stand alone in the hallway. Thoughts of the day flip through my head like a rollercoaster. Eventually the rollercoaster pulls to a sudden stop as a girl pounds right into me. I almost apologize, until I realize who is in front of me, Winter Pierce, the school’s drama queen, and Thorn’s wannabe arm candy. This will be great. 

Hello,  thanks for reading chapter one! I appreciate it :) More will come.