The alarm rings at 7.00 o'clock, interrupting my dreams of romance and forcing me to get up, which I have not the slightest intention of doing.

I open an eye slightly when I hear someone open the door of my room and make their way into the darkness of the room, which fades immediately when the window is thrown open.

"Raise the beautiful ass that you find yourself in, it's time to start shining like the sun of this day"

I'm almost nauseated at the words of my best friend.

"Why start a day that is only destined to become my worst nightmare and the end of all my dreams?", I exaggerate by complaining.

I hear her giggle as she takes the covers off me, letting the fresh morning air invade my bones.

Immediately I think that if it would be full winter I would die and for the first time in my life I thank the summer that is getting closer and closer.

"But how are you melodramatic, it's only three months"

"Exactly, a whole summer when I will not see any of you, where I will not see Rick ...", I get up slowly and frowns, thinking about it. I will have to leave all my friends only to satisfy my mother's whims. I hate taking care of her, but not because I have better things to do, but simply because I am her daughter, I should come home late at night drunk because of a party where I lost control. She should be angry with me and then put me to bed and help me with the after-booze, but no ... our roles have been reversed since my father's death.

I could even go home all tattooed and she would not notice it at all, so I would begin to blame the anti-depressants that she takes only to not face the harsh reality, not to face the emptiness that both my parents are leaving to me.

I take the clothes I left on the desk chair the night before and head for the bathroom, under the watchful gaze of Melissa.

She is the kind of girl that any boy wants: she is tall, red hair, captain of the cheerleaders team, swimmer in her spare time and model student during school hours. Her strong point, beyond the trained physique, has always been her gaze. Its green eye creates a pleasing contrast to the blue one and the shape that frames them is spectacular. Fleshy lips and fair skin and without imperfections, which can be expected more?

On the contrary, I am a simple blond girl with green eyes, normal ... no green and blue, or brown and something else, just two simple green eyes and a pale and delicate skin. I'm awkward, and embarrass myself is my strong point. No special features, no trail of boys behind me or girls wanting to be my friends.

"And here's Skype saves lives again, but what does it cost you to open up with him and tell him how you feel?" She says quietly.

I can not help but snort a nervous laugh while I put on my clothes.

"Well, to start: I'm not you, remember? My name is Cat, I'm a mess and all the guys I like use me to get to you!" I refer to the two human cases that tried to do it, but they only remedied a broken heart.

This is what the boys do not understand, Melissa is not perfect and hates those who think that. She just wants to be normal, but she has too many expectations to satisfy and I think one day she will break out.

"Then you know what we think about love", I roll my eyes for that word that only exists in movies or books.

Honestly, I think it's all a big bullshit. The society wants to make you believe the image of people predestined to be together, that despite all their mess can not stay away and so on…

Love is certainly beautiful to read, to dream and to watch in movies, but not to try, because true love is the one in which you suffer because we fucking human beings create troubles. True love is the one in which you can feel good for a second, but then you realize that it's all an illusion and that there is none of this, because even though a person can swear not to leave at the end of the games will do it and you will remain lonely, waiting to go away soon too and stop suffering.

"Maybe with Richard it's different, you've been friends for so long ..."

"In fact, why ruin such a beautiful friendship?

She remains silent and I start brushing my teeth.

It only happened once to discuss our discordant opinion, tried to make me change my mind but it did not help much. I admit I'm very stubborn, but we have not spoken of it any more.

I finish getting ready and we go downstairs, where my mother is eating slices of toast

"Good morning", she is all smiling, but I do not spare her smile. I take only a slice of bread and put the backpack on my shoulder.

"I'm late, see you later." I did not want to talk or listen to her, she never does it with me ...

——————————————————————————-

I never thought of the school as a bad thing, on the contrary I like to wake up early and walk to the gates, smelling the morning fresh air. I like the winter, the snow, the cold air, I like the rain and the smell of dew. The school is part of those memories that I would like to tell my grandchildren, not so much for study and lessons, but for the time spent with friends that maybe one day I will not see anymore and in this way I will always have something to remind me of them and the good moments spent together. School for me is to stay with the people I care about most, people who can fill a part of my emptiness as much as possible.

But today ... today I just do not feel able to get through the day. It may sound like a stupid thing, but my friends are all that I have left, and knowing I can not spend my holidays with them kills me.

I start out when I feel something touching my hips, but when Rick's scent invades my nostrils my mind relaxes immediately and I smile.

"Good morning foreign", I turn to him and I lose myself in his blue eyes.

"Good morning Catherine", puts a daisy in my hair, over my right ear and smiles. The only person in the world authorized to call me that way because all the words coming out of his lips seem perfect.

Rick and I have known each other since I was 7 and he was 8, we went to the same elementary school and our classes were opposite each other. One day, during the snack, he spilled his bottle of juice on my hair by mistake and then offered to help me wash them. He took me to the bathroom and shampooed me with hand soap. I raged with him because my hair was all tied up and sticky, but the next day he showed up at school with a little daisy from the garden of his house and an ice cream, and I forgave him. From that day on he started giving me a daisy every morning until now, almost as if it were a tradition. During the winter he buys one every day, as they do not grow. 

He is a very beautiful boy. He can be very nice, but also a total 

 asshole, depends on how he wakes up or to the people, is very moody.

He is tall, dark blond hair and blue eyes. Has a pierced lower lip that drives almost everyone crazy. But appearance can be deceiving, in fact, behind his determined and somewhat gloomy features, a golden boy is hiding, who reads books and dreams of a musician's life. That's what I like most about him.

"So today you're leaving for Ireland ...", he says a little melancholy.

I nod.

"For the village where I was born, apparently." puff.

Sometimes I forget I'm Irish. My parents are both from Northern Ireland, a village called Mullingar, from which they moved a year after I was born. When he was alive, my father always told me how he took mama to the lake near his house to look at the stars, or have a picnic with all their friends. They had met in high school and they did not leave each other until Dad's last breath, as I said everyone goes away sooner or later.

Honestly, I do not consider Mullingar as my house, I do not know how it is made, I do not know anyone and I do not miss it at all. While I miss Manhattan even before leaving. I really don’t know what to expect from this holiday ...

I see the rest of my group approaching us.

"Will you stay in a hotel?", Asks Melissa. We had known for a month now of this trip, but we never talked about it much.

"No, in the villa of an old friend of my mother"

"Mhh ... I heard that Ireland is full of cool boys," Rosaly intrudes with her enthusiasm.

It has always been the craziest brown hair in the group, the soul of the party and confident. She's a fantastic dancer and if you're down she always knows what to say and do to cheer you up. One that can be trusted.

She is in a relationship with Darren, the nicest boy in school. He is frequenting the the last year, just like Rick, and has been with Rosaly for the past 4 years. From our first day of high school he has put his eyes on her and has not been able to detach them. I'm happy for them, they can love each other while I can not even do it with myself.

However I don’t know how long they will last. The last year for them is over and they have already decided the university in which to go.

"It does not matter, Cat already has her cool boy to take care of," Rick intervenes.

Then there are these moments with him, in which I can not understand what he really wants or intends.

He’s jealous and throws arrows on a possible relationship and for a moment I illude myself and I hope that he makes me change my mind about love, I hope that he enters in my life in that sense and makes all my insecurities disappear, but then all these hopes are shattered when I see him kiss with some random girl.

Once Rosaly even asked him explicitly if he wanted something with me, he replied that he did not want to ruin our friendship. When this reached my ear, I got angry with her, and I still don’t know if I was for the answer, or for the fact that she had asked him for real ...

"I don’t think so", I try to say serious, but I can not hide a smile.

He frowns and just as he opens his mouth to say something the bell rings.

"Better to go," says Stefan, who until now has been quietly standing beside his brother, Darren.

He is in my year and has a crush on Rick. Nobody knows, except me...

*Autrice space*

Hello everyone, my name is Faith and I’m new here in this platform…

I always loved to write an read, I always loved books, so I thought it will be funny write one on my own.

I’m Italian so I’m sorry for the mistakes, feel free to tell me what’s wrong

Hope you all like the first chapter 

Kisses xx