Come. Come my love; come and sit by me. I will tell you a story. Ah! Such a wonderful story it will be. It is a story of my youth. Don't let this wrinkly visage fool you, I was once a beautiful little girl with the energy of 100 squirrels. Come now my love, do not roll your eyes. Believe me, it is true! Have I ever lied to you before?

That I had your nose? Oh my love; that was but a game. Do not be so serious all of the time. Too much seriousness saps the colour from life!

Ah yes! My story. Are you ready? 

When I was in the spring of my youth my mother, sister and I would take picnics whenever the weather permitted. Father was always away on business so we were all the family each other had, and it was nice to get away from the ever watchful eye of our infernal Butler: the man was such a bore! "Don't touch this." and "Get away from that!". It was my home damn it! To hell with his stuffiness. I was more that joyful when he resigned.

But that is neither here nor there is it, my love? On this certain day, oh I remember it well; the weather was gloomy. It was not cold, but the sun was overcast. The sky filled with grey clouds threatening to burst at any moment, and we didn't care! Where was the excitement in enjoying a nice sunny day? We wore our sun dresses in spite and hefted a picnic basket stuffed with everything we loved; teacakes, lemonade, sandwiches. There was even a carrot.

If you asked my mother she would say we were always running, always in high spirits. I was just trying to run away from my sister to get to our spot first. That was always a game we played. We had our set paths and we would sprint like a hobgoblin was on our tails. This day I knew what mother had packed for our treats; for we always had one you see. The winner always got first pick and I wanted first pick.

Unfortunately, that day, I lost. So, after we had unfurled the blanket, unpacked the basket, rolled in the grass and eaten our food; my mother uncovered the treats. She liked to keep them a surprise, she said she liked to see the joy light up our eyes as we gazed upon our surprise. And as my sister reached in to take her selection, my fist flew out and struck her square in the nose. My father was fascinated with pugilism so my right hook was brutal.

The scream that emanated from my sister was short, she clutched her face and fell to the floor and I did not care a whit. I reached in and took what I had wanted. That extra large, gooey chocolate éclair.

Now my love can you guess why I told you this story?

You can't? Let me explain. I broke my own sisters nose for an éclair, and I love her dearly. Don't think that because I am old that I am weak. I may not be as fast, but I will still get you. If I catch you touching my treats, you will end up with a nose as crooked as Aunt Elaine's.

Now run along my love. Run and play.