I hope I can’t let go of your hand.....

It’s been a long time when mistakes and wrong doings are gone. I tried to changed and later on I  don’t know if I can do it so. Will I become a successful? Or nothing will change at all? 

Hello everyone I’m Yue Liang Xin. I’m 19 years old now. I’d love to share my story. It was challenging, exciting, amazing, enjoy, great and yet you didn’t notice that you let the water out in your eyes and your tears suddenly flow out.

•3 years Ago

(July 9, 2013)

Zhang Ann- My mother. She was a good and kind mother for me. She was the best mother in the world I’ve ever met. 

Zhang Er- My father. He was my supporter and loyal fan. He was kind to me and fair to all of us. We are not rich but my father will never give up just to give us the things we need. 

My mother and father are really sweet and truly love each other. I have 3 siblings. They are Rose, Jhea and Khenjur. I was the older among of them, Rose is my twin while Jhea is my second sister and Khenjur is my little brother. Rose and I are both 16, Jhea is 15 and for my little brother, he is 2 years old. They are loving people like other. We have a lot of fun and we faced the challenges together. But now, I don’t know if they are still there. I just hope to see them again and repeat those memories we accumulated before... I miss their laughs, smiles and voice. A thing that will never exist again..

A few months ago(5/8/2013)

Today is my vacation, and I’m going to meet my family in our province. We have an agreement to meet there and celebrate my upcoming graduation. 

Phone Ringing

“Hello mom?”

“Erika, we’re already here”

“Got it mom, I’m coming”

The Call Ended

A few minutes after, I finally arrived at the place we had agreed.

“Mom! I am already here ”I shout.

"Erika is already here"

"Hello ate congrats!”

A greetings from Jhea

"I haven't graduate yet, it's 2 months before I graduate" I replied while smiling at her. 

"Erika congrats you really inherited from me haha" Rose greeted me confidently

"What are you talking about guys? haha you’re really advance ”I replied to all of them 

“That's enough, children, let's eat" Father said

"Yes, let's eat .. eat well, oh Jhea get more foods " Our mother said. 

"Baby khenjur, this is your sister's gift!" when I surprise Khenjur. He hugged me and we ate together. We had a really good time .. We swam in the pool while teasing and chasing .. then, they gave me a gift that I didn't expect. Daddy gave me a necklace and wore it on me. A neckalce with moon’s pendant. They know that I love the moon and I really love it because, it is my friend when I’m all alone, I can only talk to the moon. Rose and Jhea gave me a bracelet and I quickly put it on my hand.My Mom gave me a ring. The ring that given to her by her mother. I was said to be the oldest of my siblings so Mom gave it to me. The happy hour passed and it was already night. We all went to the rooftop and talked about our parents ’story of when they met. After a few hours, we all just looked at each other and looked up at the same time. A very nice fireworks above and stars that dance together. The light is like my family's love..A love from the light and a care from the fire. I will never forget that blissful day, beacause we spent a lot of time to enjoy that ocasion. 

“Mom, dad! Both of you will be on  stage with me. And you are going to congratulate me okay? Dad! You’ll be the one who will hang my medals and Mom you’re going to hold my awards..” I commanded to them.

“No problem Erika”My parents said.

“Ayoahhh!! Don’t just say no problem, promise me okay?”I asked. My parents agreed and Promise me to go on my graduation day to congratulate me. After a lot of night talks, we opened the light and we takes a family picture. I take my farewell to my family and go back to university for exam. And of course before I leave that time, they hugged me so tight and kissed me. That was so sweet and hot. Sweet like a sugar and hot like a fire. That’s their love, a sugar and a fire. Can’t be bitter and can’t be cold, just at the middle. 

July 9, 2013

Graduation Day 

My graduation is going to start but I’m too anxious because my parents are not here yet. I’ve been waiting for them almost 5 hours. I can do nothing.. and yet, the ceremony started. I’m going to be call soon at the stage but why my parents are still not here. 

“Our Valedictorian, please come in Miss Zhang Erika.. please give her around of applause “ 

My classmates and all of them clapping together while I’m walking going at the stage. I was wondering where are they. I got distracted, looking around me if they are already here or what. I was still hoping that they will come to see me, wearing a uniform in front of many people. I’m whispering to myself to calm down but I really can’t help it. 

“Good morning to all you. Greetings to my classmates, teachers, fellow students, and specially to the parents who came here just to congratulate their children. I am Erika Zhang, standing at your front to share my experience during this school day. Education is really important to all of us. We used this in everything we’ll do. To reach what you dream of, is not that easy like how you say the word of being a successful.  Being a student has really difficulties and as for me, I thought of giving up too. I don’t know what to do but in times of I think that I can’t do it, I’ll think of my family. My dreams. And thinking all the time how it will be go if I can’t finish studying? Will I become a successful without finishing my study? Do I suppose to reach my dreams without education? Definitely no! That’s why I’m trying hard and doing my best to complete this study. Because this is my dream, This is all I wanted before. I’m doing this for myself and I did it because of my family. To all students, I just want to say, that no matter what, no matter how hard it is or how difficult it is, don’t give up! Because beginning is the hardest part of our journey. This is just a test. We need to accomplish this thing first before doing anything. Pray and ask to God to guide and lead you, so that no matter what might happen, you’re still in hope to believe in yourself. Always remember! That we are not fighting alone because we have our God who always looking to us. Self love, self support and self believe will always earn you success, and  for with God, nothing will be impossible- Luke 1:37.. I also wanted to thank my friends out there! My classmates, my teachers, my family who always support me, giving my needs and never give up on me..And I also want to thank our God almighty, the one who give us strength in Times of weakness and the one who never leave us alone, thank you Lord! Thank you because we finally right here and our journey will finally going to begin. We are nothing without you, so I give thanks to you and give glory to your holy name.  To all students, as a leader, I’m proud of you guys! Keep it up! Fighting! Go and chase your dream! This is not the end, but it’s the beginning of our success. Hope to see you soon again my dear classmates.. May the Lord God bless us, that’s all thank you very much”

While talking at the front, I can’t stop myself. I did, cried in front of them. I’m still standing here but sad to say.. guess what? The promises are all in vain. I wore my medals by myself and hold my awards while they taking pictures of me.. A family that I expected becomes alone. And that was only me during graduation. I felt pain and still can’t move on. I decided not to contact all of them starting today. I blocked them all and shutdown my phone so that they will never able to contact me anymore.