Toughened up by her own life, Georgia is not going to let what happen to her happen to her own daughter.  With a plan in place, a deep breathe and somehow a wave of confidence she never knew existed she will end anything standing in her way, anything that will potential ruin her babies life. 

Georgia...

I take the last mouthful of my favourite morning cup of tea, milky and sweet, enjoying it immensely knowing it may be the last one I ever taste.  I can feel the sun behind me warming my shoulders, making me think this winter-suns time is nearly up.  I watch the ground as the tall long shadows creep slowly away with the rising sun.  While I'm looking over the valley below a chilly breeze blows around me, the coolness making me shiver, or maybe just the thought of today making me nervous.  The fresh smell of eucalyptus wakes my senses, relaxing me, reminding me exactly why I live here, in total isolation.  Here, no-one tells me how long I can sit here for, sitting here no-one tells me how to live my life, sitting here no-one abuses me, or makes me feel so degraded.  Here is where I planned today, the plan that is going to save my daughter Ashleens life.  Sadly today there will be no celebrations for her eighteenth birthday, no cake or gifts, that's not part of the plan, just escaping and hiding her, the only thing I can give her today, her freedom.  

My eyes scan around, mentally taking a photo of this place, just one more look, ingraining the beauty deep in my mind.  I've never taken a photograph of here, taking a photograph isn't possible, too risky, too easy to find me, so this memory will be the only thing I can rely on to get me thru the next chapter in my life.  The tall stalks of dry grasses sway around me, the sun making them look like a bed of gold all around me.  I get up realising just how tall the grass is, of course sitting amongst hides me.  I can see Ash sitting on the balcony sipping her own cup of tea in the distance, her eyes looking across the golden field looking for me.  I push the stalks aside, trying not to make too much of a indentation as I walk over, my finger tips have been running across the top of the grass, my brain filling with another familiar feeling I will miss soon.  I make my way over to my small quaint cottage, the only home I've loved all these, the only place that kept me sane.  My daytime sanctuary.  

"I was going to send out a search party" Ash says to me smiling.  She is so pretty, and such a beautiful girl, it makes my heart ache knowing I'm sending her away, maybe never coming back here.  But better this than if they get their hands on her.

"You couldn't...phones don't work up here" I answer her as I climb the two stairs trying not to let her know how I feel.

"Happy Birthday beautiful girl" I say leaning down and covering her face with kisses.  I hold back any emotion like I've always managed to do.  

"Are you ready for today?" I say pulling my forehead to hers, holding handfuls of her long dark hair, exactly the same colour as mine, desperately trying to enforce my confidence on to her, but struggling to reassure myself that this is the right thing to do.  Keep smiling, no tears today I chant to myself.

She nods yes, sniffling slightly, her beautiful blue eyes filling with salty tears.  No tears today baby girl.  I know she isn't so sure about todays events like I am.  I've never told her exactly why I want her to disappear.  Over the years I've always been positive about her dad, I've managed to keep the relationship between us easy, he had no restrictions with her, most times I think he thought I was a real push over, meek, weak even, but little did he know that that was part of my plan.  I've been all those, made him think that.  But today, today I'm doing it my way, today I will show strength.  And she doesn't even know it will be purely for her.   All I ever wanted was for her to have a normal life, have parents that loved her, even to witness a happy marriage, that would've been the ultimate, but that was never going to happen.  You can't force two people together like they did with me and him and expect miracles.  Ashleen was the only miracle between us, and the only one I have to protect.  She doesn't need to know all the nitty gritty details.  I've excepted that now, now she only needs to know that we both love her, and I'd hoped both of us supported her, but that also hasn't happened.  So I'm changing that.  Her Dad may love her, contrary to me knowing exactly what he was planning to do with her today, the day she turns eighteen.  So I've never told her and hope and pray she trusts me.

"Are you sure this is totally necessary? I mean dad has never indicated what would happen when I turned eighteen, maybe, maybe things have changed you know, did you ever ask him over the years?" she says sadly.  I begged him to change his mind, but he won't.  And his mother definitely will see Ashleen's fate thru if he doesn't. 

I sit next to her, I wish I had more time, I should've told her so she could mentally prepare herself but I wanted her to have a perfect, innocent childhood, to be a normal teenager.  A life that didn't include such a burden, one that hangs over my head everyday.  I'm hesitating answering her as I look at my watch...we have another few hours before his usual 8 o'clock phone call/check in from her dad happens.  He has rung at 8 every morning for at least the last fifteen years, and if he is unable to ring he gets his mother to ring.  I like to think it's because he loves to hear her voice every morning, but really I think it's to make sure I haven't disappeared with her.  But once again I've never discussed this with her.  And I've given up trying to discuss this with him, and I would never ever discuss it with his mother.  I pick up her hand as I speak.  Be brave, sincere and honest to her.

"The years with your father and especially that family...well, it was just something that I've never wanted to share with you purely because it wasn't good.  The only good thing that came out of it was you.  The day you where born I decided to start planning the future so you never had to endure what I did.  You have to trust me Ashleen, trust I know what I'm doing, have faith that this will work, and know that I will see you again soon, maybe not in a week, maybe not even a month, but you will see me again, and things will be better, no more hiding and sneaking around, I promise you."

"Nothing bad will happen to Dad will it?" she asks me.  I sit back, even I hope nothing untoward happens, but I know that family and all this won't go down well in that household.

 "I can't promise you that Ash, I can't be there to protect him, only you.  I've been a good girl, I'm not trying to cause a problem, all I'm trying to do is protect you.  Believe me when I tell you that when it's all over I'm truly hoping your Dad see's things my way.  But I warn you it might not happen...we will have to cross that bridge when we get to it sweetie."

I feel her head lean against my shoulder, I know she is shedding silent tears, trying to hide them from me, probably learnt how to cry silently from me over all these years.  She sniffles a little but doesn't lift her head.  I don't know what else to say.  But I try one more time to make her understand, knowing it isn't going to cheer her up.

"I wish I could dance around singing the birthday song, shower you with piles of gifts, have a load of giggling teenage girls and boys gather around, have a day full of laughter and joy, but we can't today and I'm sorry for that."  She squeezes my hand acknowledging my torment.  

My heart hurts knowing I've been such a boring mother, never letting my guard down.  Always so nervous about my surroundings.  I was such a vibrant young girl once, but I lost her a long time ago.  This plan was the only way out, and being vigilant, serious and aware was all I had left.  And I had every reason to, I knew I was always being watched, so over the years I learnt to play along, to be the good girl whilst secretly organising the day we escape, and today was the day.  I've only ever lived in fear of this day approaching, not only for Ashleen but myself, this day all those years ago was the exact same day my life turned to shit.  I hold Ashleen tightly while I look back over the valley, remembering my eighteenth birthday sadly.               

That day, the day I turned eighteen...

I woke up happy that day.  I jumped up and looked in the mirror trying to see if anything had changed over night maybe.  Did I get a bit taller? My boobs get any bigger? My hair any longer? No.  Nothing had changed.  I can do so much now, I don't even know where to start.  I smile at myself in the mirror.  Maybe a new hair cut would make me feel more like a grown up I decide tilting my head to the side.  Enough looking at myself I think looking around the room.  Maybe my dad had snuck in and left a gift, just something little letting me know he was thinking about me today, but sadly there was nothing.  To him it was just another ordinary day.  I glance back at the mirror finding the photo shoved in the mirror frame of my mum and I.  She would've never let this day be so ordinary.  I pull the photo from the mirror frame.  I was about fourteen when this photo was taken.  She is holding me tightly, smiling for the camera but I could see such sadness behind her eyes.  I put my finger to her face.  I've always wondered why she was so sad.  I wished she was here with me today, just seeing her again, just one more time would be the best eighteenth birthday present ever, making it an extraordinary day.  I don't remember her death very well, probably blocking a lot of it out, all I remember is Dad telling me she'd been killed in a accident.  No details, just an accident...a road accident, a factory accident, what sort of accident, what happened to my mother?  Stop making yourself sad Georgie, putting down the photo to get ready for school.  

I shower and dress then before I turn to leave I pick up the photo and tuck it down in my bra strap, close to my heart.  Now I'm ready for school, now I'm ready for anything, smile Georgie...it's your birthday.  I sling my bag over my shoulder, opening the door at the same time.  I assume I'm the only one here like usual but as I walk out my bedroom I hear men talking down stairs.  I freeze.  This time of the morning Dad is never home. but it's definitely his voice I can hear.  For a quick second I stupidly think maybe he's invited a few people around to share a birthday breakfast with us.  Silly me I think, quickly snapping out of the thought when I hear harsh words being said loudly downstairs.  And besides Dad doesn't let me have any friends around here, he doesn't even know any of my friends I think to myself.  I stand still holding the door handle, I'm not sure if I should go back into my room.  I hear movement, and if I bob down I can see down the stairs.  I bend hoping no bones crack or floorboards creak realising I can see someone starting to walk up the stairs.  Big boots, definitely not dads shoes.  This makes me decide to go back into my room, turning quietly, I close the door behind me.  I curse in my head when I remember this door has no lock, but my bathroom does, actually I'll feel safer in my bathroom, so I go and lock myself in there.  I back up against the window, looking over my shoulder thru the frosted window I can't see much, maybe just a shadow of a black car.  I turn back to the locked door and with my hands behind me I wiggle the lock to see if the window will open.  No luck.  Then I hear tapping on the door.

"Jean" I hear reasonably loud.

"Jean (my dad called me this, he never used my real name, he knew I hated it)" he says louder this time.

"You...I need you to come out here for a minute" he says in a authoritative, deep but loud voice this time.  I don't answer him until he actually bangs on the door, sounding like he's about to batter down the door in anger.  I should've tried harder to open the latch, climb out the window, even falling two floors would be better than facing him.

"JEAN, get your arse out here now" he growls loudly along with banging the door.  He sounds really angry.  And I'm instantly weakened, I hate him yelling at me, and he knows it. This makes me open the door.  I obeyed him when he spoke like that, automatically.

He never got physical with me, but mentally he could always get my attention especially when he growled at me like that.  He'd been an okay father before his mood changes started.  Then they had got worst over the last few years, actually since mum died.  But as far as back as I can remember he always frightened me with that stern hard voice of his.  Maybe this is why mum was sad, maybe he frightened her too.  I open the door just a little peering at him thru the small crack cautiously.  He suddenly pushes the door open, making me step back quickly, then I'm totally revealed.  I look at him deeply, almost summoning him to at least say happy birthday to me but he never does.  He either doesn't remember it's my birthday or he just doesn't care.  I give up trying to work it, allowing my eyes to move past his angry face, to the other side of the door.  There I can see two rather large men standing, serious cranky faces, arms crossed, both of them staring down at me, making me feel suddenly totally scared and incredibly weak at the knees.  I looked back at dad searching his face, pleading for an answer.

"Whats happening Dad?" is all I whisper.  I wish he didn't scare me, sometimes I wanted to give him so much sass, today I wish I had the guts to do so, but it never happened. 

"You need to go with these men" is all he says to me grabbing my arm roughly literally throwing me towards one of them.

Large arms embrace me tightly, half securing me there, half stopping me from falling.  I instantly struggle for my freedom.  Then the large man holding me grabs hold of my arms pulling them back behind me, hurting me.  This makes me angry.  I can be angry while being held here against my will, on my birthday.  I spit the next words out directly at my Dad, more angry than I've ever felt, surprising myself, and my Dad.

"You...you...you didn't even say happy birthday to me Dad" I scream in his face while I'm trying to kick him.  I'm gripped tighter, only making it hurt more.

"It...it just has to be this way, you...you would eventually leave me anyway, at least this way I could choose the day" he says softly now, looking down at the ground,  not looking at me.  Tears run down my face, I can't believe he's doing this, of all days.  That is such a rotten excuse.

Without even being allowed to pack a bag, I was literally dragged down the stairs, and shoved into the black car.  A hood was put over my head, I didn't even get to see Dad one last time, I would've been snarling at him anyway, but anything would've been better than none.  I instantly lay down on the seat, curled up, crying my eyes out.  I was oblivious to what direction I was getting taken, I just couldn't believe it.  I shook the whole way.  I couldn't think.  All I could do was sob, I think I went into shock, I stayed in this position for what seemed like a couple of hours.  I wasn't sure who was sitting in the car with me, I didn't bother trying to look, I just stayed there curled up and sobbing.  Crying for what my Dad did, crying sheerly out of not believing this was happening to me.  A scared, frightened, naive girl, who was too weak to fight.  No-one would look for me, I had no-one, I wouldn't even become a missing person.   

This was the day I was stolen, my freedom, my innocence, my dignity, my childhood, everything was taken away.  And it was the last day I ever saw my dad again.