My name is Amara and I'm 15 years old , I live in sunny California with my Mother and two older Brothers. My Father passed away 5 years ago of too much blood loss after as horrific car crash. My Father's death had a huge impact on my life. I have 4 best friends who I've known for most of my life now ; Ellie, James, Luke and Tommi. They are the best people I could wish for to be in my life and I'm lucky to call them my friends. I go to RidgeWood High with my 4 best friends, school is good but it's had its turns.

3 Months ago 

Monday 17th December 2017. I woke up so happy and excited to see James (3 years ago James and I were dating and we had been for 3 years, 17th December is our anniversary) little did I know it was gonna turn into the worse day of my life.

I jumped out of bed had a shower and put on my new clothes that I recently brought when Ellie and I went out shopping, not forgetting to put on the necklace James brought me for my birthday. As I walked down stairs my Mother shouted "Have a great day Cupcake, Say Hello to James for me I'll see you both later before you go out for your meal" I felt so happy and couldn't wait to see James. I grabbed a apple, my keys and my phone and yelled up the stairs "Thanks mum see you later". 

I dashed to school and I was so out of breath when I got to the school gate , I looked around to see if Ellie or any of the boys were around and all of a sudden Luke stormed out of the school and shouted "SHE ISNT GONNA BE FUCKING HAPPY WHEN SHE HEARS ABOUT THIS !".

I was a little confused but I went up to Luke and said "ummm, hey what's happened ?" Luke turned around and took a deep breath and quietly said to me "Talk to James, I shouldn't be the to tell you..." I was concerned on what he was talking about but I calmly replied him "Okay, I'll see you at lunch, and if you see Ellie let her know that she needs to call me about the Christmas Party" Luke nodded and left for class.

I walked inside my class and Everyone stared at me sadly then looked away, I didn't think much of it but I walked in and James wasn't in his seat , now I was confused. Thoughts were going through my head "Where is James? , Who was Luke yelling at? , Why does everyone keep looking at me weirdly?" I spaced out and didn't really listen in Class, these thoughts became stronger and it made me feel light headed, but that didn't bother me.

A few hours went by and I still hadn't seen James but "maybe I'd see him a lunch after pe" I thought. I headed to pe class and saw Ellie, and to my discomfort she looked at me sadly, I'd had enough of this and walked up to her. Ellie gave me a huge hug and said softly "I'm so sorry" I was thinking "Why exactly?". I said back "It's okay, but let's not talk about it" I had no idea what she was talking about but I had to play along.

Pe started and we were playing LeCross I was teamed up with Ellie and a couple other girls and then we started the match, thoughts gathered through my head again. Miss blew the whistle and the game started. Ten minuets in the scores were 3-1 to us, Ellie threw over the ball to me, I was running as fast as I had before I really wanted to score this goal. As I looked towards the goal something caught my eye, JAMES ! But that didn't stop me, I kept running but then that's when I saw it, Alisha Dane ran up to him and they started making out, I paused in shock and these questions came to mind "Maybe it's not him? He wouldn't do that? Would he? Where was he earlier? Is that him? Is he cheating on me? , my head began to spin and all of a sudden I heard someone shout "AMARA, WHATS GOING ON?!" Then someone else shouted "SHIT AMARA HEADS UP!" I wasn't paying attention then suddenly I felt a hard object hit the back of my head knocking me to the floor and causing me to pass out.

 I never knew that I would wake up and regret it. "Your awake, How is your head?" The Nurse said politely, As I tried to sit up I fell instantly back down "OW, SHIT!" , the Nurse giggled quietly and reminded me that I'm still in school and I shouldn't be using that language. I asked Nurse , "What was it that hit my head?" She replied "A football,One of the new boys kicked the ball stopping the opersit team from scoring and the ball flew right towards you, The young man rushed you down here, he looked quite nervous had damanded to stay and wait for you to wake up but Coach came down and took him back to pe", I wondered who this boy was and I needed to know who.

"Umm, by any chance do you know the boys name?" She didn't know so I guess I'll have to find out myself. As I layed into a comfortable position and was about to get some rest, Ellie came barging in the medical room "AMARA ARE YOU OKAY? YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME! WHO HIT YOU WITH THAT BALL ?! AMARA !? AMARA THEY BOY THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE WAS LIKE A 10000/10 " I let out a giggle and turned towards her, "I'd prefer if you didn't shout Els , I've kinda got a headache" Ellie quickly apologised and then we both laughed. 

The bell went and Ellie took me home. We got home and I knew there was a few questions that needed to be answered. I picked up my phone and called my mum

 "Mum ?" 

"Cupcake where are you ?"

"Sorry I didn't call sooner, I'm round Ellie's and I'm staying the night I'll be home tomorrow"

"Okay that's fine, as long as you are okay and safe. I'll see you tomorrow, I love you bye"

"Love you too mum bye"

Ellie said "so we're having a sleepover ?" I glared at her and said "Yes, there are some QUESTIONS I'd like you to answer, but first call Luke and tell him to come here" 

Minutes went by and then Luke turned up.

Both Ellie and Luke looked nervous and confused, I asked "Who was you yelling at this morning Luke ?" , Luke looked at me shocked gulped hard and replied "umm, I was talking to James..." James.... all my thoughts came back to me. I suddenly felt anger come over me, I let out a screeching scream from the top of my lungs then took a deep breath.

"Why has everyone been looking at me weirdly today, EVEN you two?" Ellie looked at me and questioned "What are you talking about? Don't you know?" "Know WHAT, I've been asking this myself all day, the amount of thoughts and questions that have been going through my head" Luke looked down at his lap and Ellie turned her head away "First I thought Where is James? Then you came outside of school yelling and that was about James? You looked so pissed off Luke, Then James didn't turn up to Class all day , I didn't see any of you at lunch and when I got to pe ....".

Luke and Ellie looked at me and said "carry on, we are gonna listen to every word" Then Ellie said gently "What happened to you during pe Amara? You just froze"

I was dreading this so much, "I turned up to pe and you said to me you was so sorry, I didn't know why but I just played along. I froze because I-I-I saw James with Alisha Dane, they were all over each other, THE PAIN, THE GUILT, CONFUSION, ANGER, SADNESS, THE FUCKING QUESTIONS..." Apart of me broke then and there and I started crying with all my heart and the tears wouldn't stop.

Luke came towards me and hugged me tight and calmly said "look, my brother is a dick you deserve better, Just think Ellie said a cute boy helped you out earlier you can eat him up for dinner" The tears stopped and I let out a giggle, "There's that smile we love" said Ellie. I realised that I had been cheated on by the person I loved the most but I knew that he didn't deserve me no longer. 

Ellie, Luke and I stayed up the rest of the night until Luke had to go home. I soon fell asleep and then so did Ellie.

 "Please Amara, you'd enjoy it so much and besides you need to go out hook up with a boy and get your mind off of James" Ellie protested again, I think it's the 5th time she had brought this up ...

"I don't know, What boys are going?" I questioned , "umm there's Luke,Tommi, Kayden and that boy that helped you when you got hit by that ball in pe a while ago and most of the schools football team". That boy ... I really need to thank him and yet I am the only one who doesn't know who he is.

A few hours passed and Ellie damanded for me to go to this party so she took me out shopping because apparently I have no taste in style and I dress like a boy, I don't know what she's talking about, I think I dress fine.

We got to the mall and it was packed, "Where do you wanna get your dress ?" Ellie questioned, I quickly relied "OXFAM,THEY HAVE SUCH GOOD CLOTHES THERE!" Ellie stared at me in shock with a mouth wide open, then all of sudden Ellie was on the floor and stood up straight away brushing herself off, "Are you okay? Why was you on the floor?" I asked worryingly, Ellie said with a laugh "I thought you said Oxfam, and that they had great clothes!" I glared at her blancly and said "What's so funny?", Ellie protested "Let's pretend this convo never happened, WE mainly YOU need to go to Victoria Secret" I sighed and let out a giggle and off we went. 

"ELLIE YOU MUST BE INSAIN, THATS A SIZE 10 ILL NEVER FIT IN THIS" I was confused on why she wanted me to fit into this but it's 2 sizes small from what I am. 

"Is it on?", I looked in the mirror and it fitted really well and I hate to admit it but I loved it. "Umm, yeh it's on, I'll come out" I replied to Ellie and opened the curtain taking a deep breath. Ellie looked at as if it she didn't even recognise me and said lovingly "Fucking hell Amara, you look amazing!" I giggled and told her that this was the right dress.

Ellie had taken about 4 dresses into the changing room to try on and then I heard her scream From the top of her lungs "AAAHHHH, HELP ?!" I ran over and she came running out and she jumped onto the chair screaming "A FRIKING TARANTULA NEARLY BIT MY FRIKING ARM OFF" I laughed and picked up this spider that was the size of my pickie fingers nail "OMG AMARA YOURE FUCKING SUICIDAL!" I laughed so hard and teased her with the spider then put it in the bin.

Both then Ellie and I had picked our dresses and we headed back to Ellie's.

Ellie's House 

"Umm can I ask you a question?" I asked nervously , "what's up ?" Ellie said I dreaded asking this cause I just know Ellie is gonna overreact. "You know that boy from the foo-" "THE FIT BOY FROM THE PE LESSON WHO HIT YOU WITH THE BALL AND THEN CARRIED YOU TO THE NURSE!" Ellie shouted , and giggled and realised I started blushing, "ummm yeah him, what's his name?" I've been wondering this for weeks now "Sean. His name is Sean, he is new and the new football team captain and is in a band" I thought shit he does more now than I've ever done in my entire life. "He's going to the party?" I asked excitingly, Ellie laughed and replied "Yes, yes he is". I couldn't wait for this Christmas party, except for the fact that James will be there but he is past and he doesn't deserve my tears or my time, I need to talk to Sean