We’re aboard the starfreighter Nostromo and it’s obvious that Captain Dallas has been infected with something. Ellen Ripley has assembled a meeting in the recreation salon with the crew.

* * *

“Dallas, we need to put you into quarantine and get the ship back home”

“Ripley, you’re such a drama queen. Don’t be so hysterical!”

“It’s probably her ‘time of the month’” said the creature poking out of the Captain’s abdomen. “She’ll be OK in a few days.”

“Shut up, you! And don’t you dare blame this on hormones!” Ellen Ripley turned to the rest of the crew. “Guys, what do you think? Kane?”

“Well, hormones aren’t out of the question...” said the Executive Officer.

“No! I’m talking about the Captain, and that… thing!”

“Hey, I’ve got feelings, you know!” it said.

“Oh.” Kane looked at Dallas. “To tell the truth, I was concerned at first, but the Captain seems OK,” he said, turning to her, “so I guess I’m OK too.”

“What? Do you really want to go to that thing’s home planet?”

“He’s the Captain.”

“Are you freaking kidding? Lambert?”

Lambert, the ship’s navigator, was the only other female crew member. She looked scared.

“I wanna go home!” she cried.

“Women!” exclaimed he creature.

Captain Dallas looked down at his parasite. “You’re right. Hormones.”

Ripley rolled her eyes. “Uggh! Brett, Parker. C’mon guys, let’s get outta here!”

“You know, Parker, we don’t survive Act One,” said Brett to his crewmate.

“Speak for yourself, I make it to Act Two!”

“As if that makes a difference?”

Parker nodded. “You’re right, buddy.”

“Ripley, we don’t have a stake in the ultimate outcome, so we’re going to abstain.”

“What?” “Un-freaking-believable,” she said under her breath.

“I vote that we continue,” said Ash, “that’s three to two. We continue.”

“You’re just a machine. You don’t get a vote!”

“In that case, I vote to keep going,” said the creature. “Three to two!”

Ripley looked at the creature. “No,” she said. “No, no, no, no, no! Dallas, seriously! That thing’s not even a member of the crew!”

Dallas stiffened as a tentacle, tightening around his neck, poked deeper into his ear.

“I think,” he rasped, his eyes glassy, “that he’s got a definite interest in this.” The tentacle loosened. “Ripley,” he said, his voice and demeanor returning to normal, “even if he didn’t get a vote, I’m the Captain, and I’d break the tie.”

“Yeah! He’s the Captain!” it said.

“But, Dallas!” she said, pointing to the creature.

“Don’t worry! We’re just going to take him back to his own ‘people’ and then we’ll turn around and go home, OK? Go back to your hibernation pod. You’ll see.”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this...” she said, turning away.

“It’ll be OK, you’ll see!” said the creature.

“OK for you, maybe...” she grumbled, as she left the salon, "but I'm sleeping with a blaster under my pillow!"