Elevators running in the morning air estranged by Vespucci’s languor beneath little Dresden’s lungs. One week was like a disastrous driving lane for a German and much of an intensive care unit for a Swiss with their world-class tick tocks on the side. To sum up, it was a TERRIBLE nightmare. From Day 1 that the virgins uprightly guarded precious innocence before the sale until Day 7when Eve’s fragile heart ben d over the chastity table of Adam’s banquet forever, all were most likely no escape and in DEAD END. What?! Wait a minute. No?! Why in the world that marriage previews and legality issues do exist in ancient form of tutelage? Quite enormous yet relevant. 7:20 am. An hour for tycoons in the business industry rushing in their respective gold mines but for a little bratty queen of  Dresdner Frauenkirche Enterprises, Inc. it feels like a 6 o’ clock litany  before the sunrise. Welcome to the land of Anglo-Saxons. You’re currently in the place where culture and the arts are flourished for centuries. The Jewel City of Europe. The Free State of Saxony.

“Good Morning, Madame.” Anthony greeted her in a light tone.

“Gutten morgen, Antonio.” She snorted sipping over a cup of Twining’s tea.

“Why do you like to call me, Antonio? My name is just simply Anthony Weisberg, Ma’am.” he complained scratch a portion of his head.

“Warum? You still ask why?” Her hands flicker another news page as she stare at him in steer clear.

“Oh good grace…” His mind speaks.

“The reason why I call you Antonio is because it is what my father put in your application and I don’t know if I had a severe astigmatism or partially blinded with the newspaper I’m reading?” She blurted.

Es gefällt mir nicht. Oh Dad, the heck you get an agent for your brat queen.

Anthony Weisberg was the top agent of CIA Germany. Never thought for a nerdy, highly intellectual, more of serious ala Albert Einstein or Leonardo Di Caprio, Teal-blue almond eyes, Muscle petrified abs and the tallest in the family of Dr. Trevelyan- Weisberg. No wonder this 6’2” giant made sense of Dad’s purpose of hiring him. However, what’s the point of halting a superior snake when you are just a newbie. The head do really understand necessity than satisfaction. For a 5’8½” brat, why the hell did he even administer such security when in fact there are 16 nursemaids waiting for duty? Unbelievable yet so true. He was still the same old school love beyond those Dionysian jets of victory through years. As the sun rays greeted those Venetian eyes, it was more like seeing a hidden torment reaping off a picturesque of seventh heaven. Past shuffled every inch of pain no matter how happiness coats the prefecture. No wonder how his charms suits too much of his skimpy tuxedo. The past. A certain past that has been sealed for centuries.

“Oh hey, Andréa…” She softly greeted over the phone staring at Anthony’s face.

“Bessie, are you serious? Mr. Past works with you? “Andréa blurted in shock.

“No comment… He knows that we are talking about him.” She cooed reaching to him her cup.

“Well, just update me… Auf widersehen!” Phone call dropped.

“The more you stare like that…pierces me so deep.” He bluffed as he reaches a new dose of tea.

“Really? It did? Well, you’re through. Wait for me outside.”

Pierces you? It pierces me a lot.

Often what we look for we find and how we feel changes what we are looking for. Politeness railed way in his disposition. Am I that bitter or it’s just this unfailing ardor buried so deep? It was like reading him between love and hate. Sometimes there was nirvana. Sometimes there’s been none. No matter how we forget matters, there’s still a mark of remembrance. Holding over the silver rails going towards the depths of the company, I came to mind him far from the reality that everything brings back an unwanted memory. He was just 2” away from the sleeves covering my broad bridges. Serious-looking but sincere. Unexpectedly, it turned out to be a traitorous meltdown as cable wires stuck in a moment. I know that faith moves mountains not ex-lovers. The sound of tumbling rocks was falling from the ceiling. And his eyes were of those blue in Seine River staring over the artwork of sea beds and corals. However, death kissed Aphrodite’s lips instantaneously.

Security. This is Agent 215. Emergency

I need help. Claustrophobic. Agent 215. Calling security.

Thea, breathe…Don’t give up on me… Hold on…

F*ck! Calling immediate security! Quick!

Wow! He spitted it out. Those words were just out from a different kind of distress. Whenever the spirit of liquor embedded his languid soul for a day, or maybe he’s trolling much of love and carnality in berth with classic French women… those were just normal like daylight but now? It was from the depths of his worrying self. Lights started to petrify like a shifting kaleidoscope as air from atop squalls below my dead-tired physique. I still tend to joke underneath saying “Lord, am I already in heaven?” while fighting this skimpy chills crushing my chest and looking upon his angelic figure. How silly am I doing such things when in fact I’m still affected of the past? I know maybe he was the live version of Michelangelo’s David but no, not all what reality’s throwing upon me.

“Sir? Ma’am? Is everything alright? Mr.  Head maintenance asked.

“Alright? Are you crazy? I had a claustrophobic creature here!” He yelled.

“Eh- what creature?! She is our boss.”

“For now, she isn’t. Call the doctors!’ He ordered.

“Okay, Sir. But how about you?” Mr. Head maintenance added.

“Bring down the ladder! I’ll take the risk.”

Taking the risk? Check. But simply calling me a creature? Hell you!

All was white. Am I already with St. Peter? Oh my, has claustrophobia beaded to my certificate upon the cause of my death? Or being trapped in a malfunctioned elevator? It would be the greatest laughing stuff. Seriously, this claustrophobia…is so wicked. For years that has been ambiguously passed by, why the sudden? Waves are running high and low. I already heard my irregular heartbeat. If mercy exists, has it heard me calling?

“Why the long faces?” I mumbled.

“Thank God…” Dad buffed in thanks.

“Mutti? Vati? Warum bist du hier?” I snorted.

“We’ve been called by Dr. Garcia.”

“You may now leave me here, Dad.” I muttered in soreness as I started to get up.

“Behave, Ms. Dresdner…” Anthony halted.

How dare you talked to me like that? I’m your boss!

You may be my boss but I care for you. For your parents.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both. Our wide portals stood and froze in peculiar stare melting the pot of hatred and rage in safe keeping. It was a never before sighting afar from knowing him for almost 10 years as a cool geek dude. Fate may understand what destiny tends to patch up and restore however it triggered the sense of numbness in my lowly heart. Dad was like the normal as usual hold in view from my distance. Painstakingly, his hand reaches supporting me for balance. Anthony was still the same Anthony before this heart painted the extract of pain on its canvass. Chivalrous and like a king. Doors breaching in chorus as tests finally are waiting for a sublime permission to take. Dr. Garcia came with her sharp friends plunging to my skin. How I wish there’s something like this for memory loss.

“Take good care of yourself more, Cyndi.” Dr. Garcia paves an advice.

“Okay, I will.”

“I guess the visiting hours over for us. We need to go, honey.” Mom spoke.

“Thanks for the visit.” I hoarsely replied.

“Ich liebe dich, Cynthia.” Dad added.

I'll be your strength, when you are weak, I'll be your friend when you are sad, I'll be all the things you've wanted and wished you always had.

Remembering the words from books, I realized… they loved me more than I could reach out. But I need to hide it to them away. Love resounds more in the silence than how it rejoices by the light of man’s day. Finally, there shadows faded away from the four spaces of this room. As dragons swallow the brightness of the day, I could still smell his scent enticing to the smell. Cicadas chirped their music and greeted Apollo’s chariot in delight. 6:20 am. Another business day.

“You supposed to tell your Mother about this.” He flickered sheets in my sight.

The medical results.

“The hell you care…” I hissed in rage.

“Wildcat…” He mumbled.

“I don’t want to cause them something to worry so will you please bear with me?!”

“As much as I want to help you…I guess I need to return to my duty you paid for.” He walked away.

Anthony, I’m sorry… Please don’t leave…

I was angry with my friend; I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. Why? Why? It’s his fault. No, it was my fault too. His words were tormenting spears bulleted my soul and tore apart my heart. I’ve hurt someone who doesn’t deserve the pain. And into my garden stole, when the night had veild the pole; In the morning glad I see; my foe outstretched beneath the tree. It allows me to recall an uncertain past. But how it will do me? Pain. Pleasure. Torment.

“Thea, are you awake?” He called. I was half asleep.

“Aww…You’re still fast asleep. Uhmmm… I bought something for you in case you want to eat but yet you’re sleeping again. Still the same little girl I used to care when we’re still in the Munich University. Du bist meine erste große Liebe. Es war Liebe auf den ersten Blick.” He implied while swaying my baby hair to the sides.

“Mein Herz gehört Dir…Always belongs to you.”

You never close your eyes any more when I kiss your lips and there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips…

You're tryin' hard not to show it, baby but baby, baby I know it.

As the song from the Righteous brothers wailed upon the air, I never knew that I already tasted heaven from his sweet brinks. Feels like I swooned beneath the clouds of hope albeit of the haunting past below us. He still does care for me. The same olds school love being stolen by time. It was a perfect moment to write upon the stars yet past came haunting on the special reunion. He was still the man that broke my heart. 3 hours, 12 minutes and 6 secs pass by the grandfather’s clock, air greeted me. Then, slumber catches his tired heart.

“Ah, yes. The past can hurt. But the way I see it is that you can either run from it or learn from it.” Andréa baffled on the phone.

“Yeah.” I mumbled.

“Do you wanna be right or wanna be happy? Sometimes the end is just the beginning!” She yelled.

“No, Ann… He’s still the person in my heart."

Certainly, the heart knows who it really wants no matter how time flies upon every single hour. No matter near or far. He was still the One beyond all the pain. As he sleeps in the corner, I suddenly came to thought about the old self being simply Cynthia or Thea for him. Changes really are beyond our control. With the enticing look of the azure pocketbook, I suddenly turn pages to pages. Our diary.

The Past.

Thea and Tony. 

Dear Thea,

                It’s summer. And when it’s summer, you tend to be the blooming dandelions of Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich.

                                                                                                                                                                         Love,

                                                                                                                                                                         Tony

MUNICH WAS LUMINOUS. A radiant, blue-silk sky stretched out over the festive squares and white-columned temples, the neoclassical monuments and Baroque churches, the spurting fountains, the palaces and gardens of the residence, and the latter’s broad and shining perspectives, carefully calculated and surrounded by green, basked in the sunny haze of a first and lovely June day. The chattering of birds and furtive rejoicing throughout the streets ... and the unhurried and amusing bustle of the beautiful and leisurely city rolled, surged, and hummed across plazas and rows of houses. Tourists of all nations climbed up the steps to museums or rode around in the small, slow droshkies, peering right and left and up the building walls in promiscuous curiosity. Standing beyond the fences, I seem to realize, he was already late for the celebration. Picture perfect memory amongst the awful sadness fled by the graze of blue Kulturstrand.

“Thea…” He yelled from a distant.

Sad faces hailed me as I waved my hand.

“Hey, I’m here.”

“Yeah. What takes you so long?” I replied in a lowly tune.

“Forgive me, custard. I came from the dance rehearsals.” He spoke as his hands tap my shoulder.

Custard? Wow. Am I that puffy?

All I do was to smile in relief.

Warmth penetrates so deeply as love fuels one’s perfect desire. He was just next to mine and wrapping sweet vines in surrender. As my heart beats in solitude, he was able to spin my world around no matter how late, delayed or abruptly stuck…He find ways. Seeing such memory immortalizes and raises to life one kind of love this heart bring about, it was so priceless. Every occurring moment was progress in deceit. Today? Pain resounded joyously by the aching horns. You tend to realize that you are willing to heal but the saddest part was… you were able to see it plus with a haunting assault.

When all you wanted was to be wanted, wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now. Back then, I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine. I’ve found time can heal almost anything and you just might find who you’re supposed to be.

“Hey…Why so loud? Hospital patients are supposed to be recuperating.” He mumbled.

“Excuse me? I’ll exercise my rights and favors, thank you…” I blurted.

“Fifteen? Taylor Swift’s song?” He asked in curiosity.

“No? Twenty-two.”

“Funny, eh? You supposed to get well. Hey… what’s that?” His steered a view.

“No…no…nothing.”

Nothing? Are you sure self? Feels like you can’t get over the truth that you can’t still move on. You are still hooked up with him. Why can’t you just go and move forward to the future? Sometimes we tend to remain to what is used to be. Remain in the sense that we can’t adapt what is needed to be. Air blew strong wind on the book pages as the first few chapters fled off into the middle of nowhere.

March 17, 2006

Thea,

                Don’t forget this moment today… It’s the promenade. I’m your date. Don’t forget my candies!

                                                                                                                                                             Tony

To My Tony,

               No candies but Choco puffs. Love you!  

                                                Thea

“Hurry!” Andréa yelled as she rushed through the door.

“If I know you’re hurrying because of that Persian lovey-dovey…”I teased.

“Oh just shut up… She blurted.

Bam!

“Es tut mir weh.”

“Oh my f*cking…” I bluffed in surprise.

“What’s that look on your face?” The man asked.

“Alexander McGraw?!” She was puzzled.

“You look beautiful in that look but Sie sind ebenso schmutzig wie Toilettenpapier.” Alex joked.

“Harsh… Well, we need to go. We’re gonna be late.” I hurried.

“What does he said?”

“You look like a toilet paper.” I whispered.

Alexander was always like that to her even we are in grade school until we’re in college. Who was Alexander to us? He’s one of the common friends of every individual around Munich. Girl, Boy, Bi or Gay?? He’ll top the list. He was so allergic to her that even in descriptions, he was so violent. But he can’t deny that she was his only best friend too. What’s the perfect description for her (according to me)? A tall, sleek girl, with hair that falls just above her shoulders, Andréa seems like a model, but gets to know her and discover so much more. Above her dark grey eyes lies a perfect set of full eyebrows. Her rounded face sits atop her shoulders with a brilliant smile. Her perfect little nose accents her face nicely. Her body curves to form a figure any male would fight for. But there is more to her than beauty, I have only begun to tell you of a wonderful person that I can call my best friend. But actually, she is the funniest girl who filled up my slum book even we’re already in 20s.

Name: Andréa Gail Schnittka- Hughes

Age: 24

Occupation: Dancer/ CEO of Forbes Company/ part time waitress at my mansion on Dublin Street

Nationality: German-British

Phobia: Hemophobia

Celebrity Crush: Mr. Tom Cruise (for I am Mrs. Cruise)

Funny how I found her slum book account being posted in my Facebook .Well, she’s my best friend! However, things weren’t like it for her in reality. We’re more alike. Too much in love, so much broken before anything starts. It’s very much irritating to the eye sight. Being the heiress of two big companies in separate countries is more of like a CROSS. Time only revolves in purely discrete business with an ounce of love on the side tray. But sometimes, we tend to hang out like there’s no tomorrow. One thing only lasted no matter how odds favored hereunto. A FRIENDSHIP so immovable.  As the wind sprung music to my ears, fate teleported me back to where life needs to be given. A life in pain.

Knock! Knock!

“What the?” He blurted in surprise.

“Excuse me…Is my Bff awake?” She asked.

“Yes I am.”

“Cynthia Frentéa Hartmann-Dresdner…” She mumbled as she was staring the blue book.

“What’s the matter?” I uttered.

“Agent Weisberg, please leave us.” She ordered as she opens the door.

Wait a sec! No! Don’t!

Is there something wrong, my love?

Maybe.

Eyes remained frozen in words as he vanished permanently. She really knows who I was whenever these things go in the greatest tremble. I wasn’t able to move on for almost 3 years. The diary simply was a looking glass for me for each sweetest memoir that would only last in my head. And in my heart. A memoir of walk through details from the moment we all existed in the flat form. And for years, she became my sister. She has the ability to lift my spirits by just being herself. She has taken responsibility to a new level and still has time to joke. But this time? It isn’t a corny joke.

“So? You are recalling the times that you and that agent slash ex-boyfriend of yours are together?” She angered.

“Why were so angry? It’s his duty and he’s paid for it.” I asked.

“You are always saying that you are having hard times when you see him and now you are with him? How could you move on?” Her grey eyes illuminated in anger.

“Hey. He was left here by my good Dad.”

“And I assume that because of it you can’t really move on as you wanted to.” She cross her elbows and sighed.

Moving on? Never.

LETTING GO is just another way to say “I love you” but is it really the way it goes? They say… Change is the only permanent in this world. And yeah, it is true. But what’s more bitter is that… we people had hard times in doing so and ending up in pain and despair. Good bye gives new begin but plunged one’s heart in pain. And with the past with Anthony? Nothing is meant to be replaced. All were irreplaceable.

“Really?” She blurted.

“Yes and honestly no matter how I neither ignore nor neglect… He does still have a part of me.”

“Wait a minute. Is that during the prom?” She halted me speaking of him as she noticed the promenade photos during on senior year.

I nodded.

Disco lights sparkled more than stars stapled in the ebony skies. Music outrageously shattered from the bulges of rectangular nets. From the distant, it recalls on how the Port du Peyrou looks with its great adorned ornaments of gold and silver surrounded by lush bush of dandelions, roses and stargazers. Flashes of lights came from different directions and a big round disc was at the tilt of the ceiling jiving over the beat. Stilettos started the fire on the floor by series of stomps meeting flasks of leather joints in tall men. They say… YOLO. This is it, Promenade! All were in shouts and screams as glass tinkled by spoons of unchained melody.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big; your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this is my wish.

“Rascal Flatts?” Alex snorted.

Obviously. “Well, no wonder why our classmates are already enjoying the view.” She snorted.

“Are we really attending a prom or a boodle fight?”

Then their stares were like nowhere.

“Are you crazy? This is how we do it!” Alex blurted in glee.

He was still opaque in the picture. No signs or hopes that he’ll be around or so. More like… I’ll be just alone. Promises are really meant to be broken no matter how you say you will fulfill it. Time was like Roadrunner. No waiting fortress to surrender. Darkness succumbs as a stray of light was on the middle glistening the microphone. Beat escapes more like a thief in the night. But then, a dark grey suit traverses along the center stage. Oh! Please don’t. As much as I anticipated the moment, it never crossed to my mind that this guy will ever do such thing to declare things open. Water surge upon my ducts as he called the best tune I never heard almost years.

This one is for you.

My heart sank in deep waters as he started to open his mouth and hit a note. Why in the world? Why in the world does he do that? Hearing everyone’s comments was like having a superhuman hearing that even at the end of the room’s edge I was able to hear it. Rascal Flatts was his inspiration in making music much livelier. He indeed never broke a single promise. Clocks tick again like wanting to never end the moment even if it’s time to go.

“Yeah…” I nodded as my hands wiped my own tears.

She smirked at me. “You still loved him after all these years. No matter how it has been. “

“You know where my heart belongs to, Dre.”

Of course, you’re my friend. “Absolutely, and you also know too that I love your brother so much.” Her warmth embrace envelopes my broken wings.

Outside the portals of this situation, I believe he was listening through signs from the way I flutter my eyes, open my mouth and breathe back and forth. But what’s the saddest part? His inability to read portions of my weary heart. I believe that’s the only thing man was unable to do no matter how we forced it. Another day was sifted by Selene’s nymphs who are happily jumping on Kinton clouds. And pages seem to be left in place. He was able to read. Always be. Neither my broken wings tend to flutter again nor my heart be healed the way that angels wanted to happened or fate plans to meet our pathways now that he was just within reach… He’s currently holding my hand.  Maybe he has seen the clues that I still do love him. They say absence makes the heart go fonder. But all things that are considered broken will always remained shattered till time allows it heal in bits and pieces. 8:00 am. I never imagined… Oozy was sniffing on me.

“Hey, wait…” He stumbled in emergency.

“Ahhh!”

Running soles immediately rushed upon the Victorian door as her screams went flowing unto the basement. “Are you okay, Mademoiselle?”

“Uhmmm…She’s just okay. Maybe you lack hygiene for weeks in her room. You may leave.” He blurted as he lends them out of the door.

“Oh okay, Sir.” They went out. He locked it and assisted her to get back in bed.

“Don’t you dare hold me or be sarcastic…” I hissed.

“Why is it so hard for you? “ His eyes went lowly.

“Das macht nichts. Jetzt muss ich gehen. The company’s waiting for me.”

Why till now, love? I already paid it for 10 years.

Because the pain will remain a pain like a hole being pierced in a tree.

To err is human, to forgive divine. But why there’s no any sign of possibility in forgiving such? I know that love is patient and kind however it’s very impossible to settle myself in forgiving him. God knows how much I wanted but there’s something I need to know. All I need to know. Why is it so hard for you? His voice resounded more than mountain echoes reaching the oblivion of the horizon. Why is it so hard for me? He was right. Why? I’ve lost something inside more like a screw or a spare part. Only time was able to slowly fix me. It’s been a much longer time that you've been there then you'll have to be. In other words the time you have to bear it is much shorter then you've had to bear already. Traffic was more like a fantasy ride in a carnival. Couldn’t imagine why it looks like this every single day. Men from different directions were like aces and spades undergoing a poker battle or a fencing fight while these umber cars are like bumping toys of a 3 year old kid. Time was like… “Oh okay, I’m not waiting anybody!”  He was just near the rear windows checking out directions from his GPS tab. He grins back at me but my eyes rolled ignoring him. Then I asked myself… “Are there signs, Lord?”

“Hustle guards! Hustle out!” Mr. Baumgartner shouted to the bodyguards.

Turning the black box on, my chills went unusual as I became a morning delight by the press.

This is Angela Saunter, BBC NEWS. Yesterday, the heiress of Dresdner Frauenkirche Enterprises, Inc. was hospitalized due to ‘claustrophobia’. Today, we are live with Jonah Jones right in Dresdner Frauenkirche Enterprises, Inc.  Jonah, what is happening there?

I’m Jonah Jones. Currently, we’re live here in DF Enterprises as Ms. Cynthia Dresdner’s limo approaching the entrance gate. As you see, every press man is excited to know the real story behind her hospitalization yesterday at Munich Hospital.

“George…”

“Yes. Madame…” George paid attention to me.

“Who told them this? You know that I don’t want to be feasted by these pesky people.”

So how was the place no, Jonah? Any signs?

Uhmmm Angela… Currently, Mrs. Froente, the company’s COO just arrived… Let’s take her opinion about yesterday’s issue.

It was like I’m inside a blending machine. When ice is poured and stuck in blades then the following ingredients were slowly mixed, it makes the ice on a disastrous smoothie. Why disastrous? I could see myself as the flavored smoothie while the press was the blending machine.

“Maybe Monsieur Dresdner was able to mention it to them yesterday when he visited you.” George relayed as he reached my sunnies.

“Darn it!” My heart was in rage as I switched the black box off.

A vache limousine in dark ebony silver shines with a built –in soundproof walls wasn’t enough to shield a fragile creature having allergic but more of the very violent reactions like how Emma Watson reacted about the rumor that she was dating my crush: Prince Harry! Magic eyes blinked like series of fireworks bursting in the skyline of Dresden. Reporters and newsmen turned the fields of DF Enterprises into a game called Subway Surfer as they’re approaching the finish line. Albeit of this, his shadows dashed like Barry Allen in the Flash. But I couldn’t even know why he looked at me that way. I never saw him so serious. He lost the funny side. The funny Anthony.

“The prom King and Queen of Munich University are….” The emcee announced.

“MR. ANTHONY DALE WEISBERG and MS. CYNTHIA FRENTĔA DRESDNER.”

“Unbelievable…I’m not so hot today.” He whispered.

That tickles me to the bone. “A dream that turns to a reality.”

“So shall we?” He laid his hand for me to reach.

Everything was like a dream that you never wished to wake up but just stay sleeping. Every eye was just staring and strangers silence swivels up to loud applauds of appreciation. He was smiling to his cheekbones like space doesn’t stocked it from him. But today?

“Ms. Dresdner! Ms. Dresdner… How are you since yesterday? Ms. Dresdner. Is it true that you had claustrophobia?” Ms. D, are you in…” Series of questions were thrown like rocks on my way out.

I wore my sunnies and slowly sashay in poise out of the limo. “No comment. Please.”

“Excuse me. Excuse me. Madame needs to go to work. The board will just release press copy.” Mr. Baumgartner spoke in plead.

Darn it! Darn it!

“Everyone! Can you just let her be attending her duties than you are all distracting her with just nonsense act?!” He exploded in anger.

Megalomaniac shrimp! Whoa! Amazing that he was in temper more like being the usual thing. Knowing him for a long time was like reading a favorite story book that even you closed your eyes; you still tend to know what’s next and so on. Somehow, he was in full angry modes while me? No comment period.

King Arthur is that you? “Enough, Tony…”

He was like Olaf the Snowman just suddenly froze in the middle of press universe.

“Give way!”

As I walk forward beads of sweat run down my neck. The cool salty air wraps itself around my body. With each step the stresses of my life fade away. I sink further and further into relaxation as the grains of dust flow in-between my toes. His hands were holding me. And I never imagined that it would happened again. I listen to the soothing ebb and flow of my blood crashing onto my body. The serenity and vacancy of my surroundings was a well needed contrast to the push and shove of the noisy entrance hall of the company.

“Congratulations, you two!” The emcee hailed in glee.

“Can’t believe it. Cheers?” He offered.

“Let’s all toast for the prom King and Queen!”

Glass clinked in warm salute as happiness lighted up the coldness of the night. His hands was on my waist and our bodies started to sway back and forth. Floors started to elevate and his hands was still stuck in downward spiral to mine. Gosh! Why in the world that it came to this? I’m supposed to drain thoughts of him. Oh brain! You do really lack of self-preservation and drainage systems or auto rebooting. Mr. Baumgartner leads our way out of the nosy press men as he was still holding my hand. All I could hear is their pleads and intents to hear my side about a nonsense issue: being a claustrophobic! He was still that same man who knows how to handle a rich brat who’s still miserably in agony of his flaws by time. Ting!

BOARD ROOM.

“Now, leave!”

She shouted at me? How dare she? “You don’t need to shout at me at the first place.” He mumbled in a lowly tune as he head his way out.

“Wait! Don’t you ever open the door…?” I halted.

Am I hearing myself right? I’m telling him to stay? Hello…? Earth to you, Thea. Yeah, you’re letting him in after everything that hurts. Should I be over all the butterflies now that I’m into him? No! The law of readiness by Thorndike do really applies in everything. You can’t force a certain matter to happen if you’re not even interested for it to be done. I’m like a 4 year old trapped in a??? How old am I? Well, I’m already 20+. He was getting near me. Like I’m the magnet attracting him to near go but just to stick with me. Pressure came along and trapped it into my chest. Christian Grey, is that you? No, brain wake up! Alarm clock! He is your father’s worker. Your agent at service. Anthony Weisberg. Your past lover.

“You’re letting me stay, Thea?”

“It’s Cynthia. I’m not the same girl you called as Thea.” I blurted as I planted a stare to him.

Thea…Seriously he is near. Like one inch more…

“You are still the little girl I fell in love with.” He whispered as I gasp for air.

“Tony…”

Imagine that what’s next to this was like witnessing a BIG BANG THEORY in Live Action. But not really. Anthony leans down, takes my cheeks in his soft hands and presses his lips to mine. My arms betraying me wrapping up themselves around his neck and kissed him back. I was like those women that Zeus beckoned by his camouflage.  His lips touched mine. They were soft and it felt good. I knew that sometime we would have to stop, but I didn't want it to. And neither did him. This was a long time waiting after the long time split happened for several years. I never felt this more connected to him. The kiss was sweet, unexpectedly and gloriously sweet. If they had of been in a movie, angels would have been singing in the background. Sweetness matched with sweetness; the thought made it all the more wonderful. He could have died in lust; right then and there, his dreams, his wishes, his sins and all his greatest goals in life had either wailed into thin air or been answered and achieved. I felt oddly the same in one way; I wanted a chance with love, and now finally I had it. So maybe it was not the same Anthony she was kissing, it did not matter much as long I was given the chance. And oh how wonderful it was to feel so passionately about someone! A deep warmth spread through Anthony's body trailing over my veins, all the aches and pains of heartbreak broken and dissolved by this tender moment. He was like an angel, who now stood, embraced in his arms, my soft angelic lips against his own. A silent tear slid down my face, marring the perfection of the moment as it splashed onto his own face.

Anthony pulled away, "What's wrong Thea?" his question was soft to her ears and she barely dared to lift her face to look at him.

"Tony…," I choked out. "I can't...I can't do this right now." My heart pounded unevenly in my chest, like a bird in a cage of sorrow. His face fell, sadness etched on his features.

“Look at me Cynthia…” He lifted my face just to stare at me.

“If you think I could forgive what you did… Sorry for my heart is still buried 6 ft. below the pain surface.” Tears are rolling over my damp cheeks as red blush came aboard.

Darn it, Thea!

“What are you waiting for? New Year’s Day? Leave my slate.”

“I rest my case. Good day, Madame.” He lowly spoke and turned away leading to the doorway.

As the wounded agent  rode away on his horse toward the mountains, slumped in the saddle, and lifted by balance, Anthony himself doesn’t understand the reasons why after all the years passing by Dresden, it’s almost impossible for Cynthia to do so. It was like after the crusade of the Giants then comes its downfall. She maybe was breathing however half of the oxygen still lies on Anthony’s presence. While him? All of her was every member of his being. Parting maybe simply parting but to lovers who spend their lives in the cradle of belongingness and passion, it wouldn’t be that so easy. For example, when Snoopy has to leave and one of the characters said: "Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like, and just stay together forever. Someone would leave. Someone would always leave, and then we have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. You know what I need? I need more 'hellos'." But hellos is never been a constant cure to a heart that falls in great depression. Separate lives maybe evident to them both but not all separations that existed even long time ago make sense of the word “CONNECTION”. A certain connection that even death became a trigger zone it doesn’t matter how it’ll do or not. Mid-day and life still continues. A life of the same process. Blasphemous laughs and cigar butts shining, nothing stopped a bleeding king to dine with the king of Pain.

“Agent Weisberg…” a lowly tune from the distant called him.

“Cap…cap…tain Brown, oh hey…hey…, le…le...t’s drink!” he slurred, jabbing a finger into Sam’s chest.

“Wait a second, Weisberg… your drunk…” Captain Brown helped him get up from falling down the tool chair.

"Gerroff me!" he said. "I’m ash sober ash ‘m gonna git. And nuffink I - wait wait wait - nuffink you can do ‘boutit.” And he ambled back to the bar without so much as hiccup in her direction.

“What’s the matter with you, idiot!” Captain Brown hissed.

“No…noh…thing’s wro….ro…ng with… with… my vo…vo…ice. I’m per…perf…fectly fin…fine in my voice,” said Anthony, sobbing so much as hiccups reoccur again.

“I’m not referring to your voice idiot! Uhmmm, hey you… Prepare us a room at the third floor and bring me a Cosmo and some first aid bundle.” He spoke to the bar’s butler.

He wasn’t any more in his self like how he was seen long time ago. Affected maybe of the worse part with Cynthia, he knows that no matter how distant or close they maybe, Cynthia will always the single and always be the girl even in dreams. Clouds were starting to float as raindrops were silently falling from the eyes of Hera. At the back of his mind, being away from her make sense on why she wanted space. On the other hand, she was silently bleeding on the midst of laying dawn and twilight in the canvass.

“Were you crying since 3pm?” Corrine, her sister asked as she was bringing a tray of jellybeans in her table.

“Oh shut up! Just don’t mind my involuntary act of deceit and pain for once.” She snorted, wiping away a grain of tear.

“Anyways, is this about Agent Weisberg? “ Corrine asked in curiosity.

“Don’t you ever mention…him…? Well, okay yes.”

Aha! I got you sissy. “Well then, I’m right of what I’m thinking about. I found this at the tree house days ago. Maybe someone left it and I know that your nickname is THEA. So here...” She handed a blue envelope with a butterfly seal.

Heart beat fast and rain started to mix albeit the fall. Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on. She hoped that she never have to think about anything as much as she could but it never works. It is strange how we hold on to the pieces of the past while we wait for our futures. She never had moved forward to the next level.  Tides were flashing back and forth like how cameras clicked and blinked lights in bursting order. Somewhere, in the space between hope and despair, agency lives. We work hard to go through moving forward, to cheat the timeworn truth that bad things happen, even to the best of us. Our magical thinking stops short of donning capes, of believing we can fly, but sometimes only by the smallest margin. And even by the smallest margins we still begot to attach ourselves on what we already know than we should need to know.

Captain Brown sighed. “So Lady Cynthia ditched you after kissing her?” He anointed his wounds as he felt the sting of the peroxide.

“I know I’ve hurt her feeling even since then, Phillip. It’s my fault after all.” Anthony sobbed in tears.

“What made her treat you like this? Maybe that’s something a woman go crazy keeping grudges even in death.” He chuckled as water drips from the cloth.

“Have you ever been in love with a woman that in your whole life she has been a goddess you’re willing to praise? “ Anthony slowly breathes.

Phillip grins and confidently spoke. “My wife. But heaven already needs her. Thank God, she left me with her resemblance… Our son Gio.” 

Suddenly a voice was screaming at me and I looked up seeing my poor self in the figure of Cynthia’s being, telling me to move on and didn’t want her to be away even how sick she was of having claustrophobia and other manias inside her. My fault was still evident to her and still giving her the thought of is in the serious layout of pain. Minutes later, it fades away. She was always the other part of me no matter how Munich evolves in great technology. In the midst of the night were fire flies soars up the skyline of the forest, all I thought of was just the happy Cynthia I used to know.

I give you all my breath,

All my strength

And you respond.

No name,

But a pulse,

A quiet, quivering thread

Beneath my fingers

For a moment, then

Like a lover

You stare at me

And see nothing.

My weary arms, moist hands

Pushing you, begging your heart to beat.

And my brow and my palms and your chest

Feed the pool

But nothing else. 

“Anthony…” She sobbed in tears as the rain became a stormy weather. Paper tunes as the music starts in requiem. Her face was drained and hands were partly shaking. Why now? Why does he tell his side now that she’s almost drowning for life? Doors were open and the letter was shed. Time stopped and silence with into bliss of loneliness and pain.

P.S. I Love You, Thea