I've been doing NaNoWriMo for many years now. I've always loved it and this year as I'm writing, I am taking people along for the ride. 

    I hope you can endure the countless spelling and grammatical errors that spew out of me in this draft. As I go along I try not to edit too much and simply crave the challenge of completing the story. While my structure is in place, I likely wont have too much time to flesh out the more nuanced bits of the story. I trust you'll go along with it. 

    This is not a story to be taken seriously. Lord knows there's enough seriousness in the world today. If you're looking for deep, complex characters with determination and morals you're looking in the wrong place. 

    As this book has gone along I now realize that my book started going in massive new directions. I'll be attempting to go through it and patch in new additions in the next week or so to tie it up. Thanks for your patience in this time. 

    "We are gathered here today to edify our elders." The great chieftain cried as he lifted his thick wooden arms above the assembled crowds. "We all know how the forces of Donn have been gaining power, and together with him being joined by the Fae king and queen, we are all in, like, seriously deep shit." 

    "Doesn't she hate him?" A small impish pixie called out. It was so cute the great chieftain could hardly stand it. He brushed his long grassy hair out of his face and lifted the floral scepter above the crowd again. He looked like a boss- because he was. 

    "We all must be unified if we are to preserve our lineage from the great reckoning which is to come." 

    "Yeah? And how do we do that?" Another pixie called out, this one covered in mud and mushrooms. He was much easier to ignore because he was ugly. 

    "I wish to propose an addition to our druid bloodline. A mortal who can come alongside our brethren and fight for us in the coming war." He whisked aside revealing a tallish man with brown hair and excessively white skin. "Friends of the forest, meet Keith." 

    "Howdy y'all. My name is Keith and I want to join your cause." For once the Fae of the forest were still. None said anything as Keith waved at them like a doofus. Either he didn't fully understand what he was doing there, or he didn't comprehend the gravity of where he was. 

    "He doesn't look like a very good choice!" A frog exclaimed from the back. 

    "He doesn't look very smart!" another cried out. 

    “Are you legit shitting us? I mean come on!” Someone else called out. 

Soon the entire forest grove was a raucous meeting with poor awkward Keith in the center of things not understanding where he was or what was going on. To be fair, that was  par for the course with Keith, but this criticism felt more pointed. 

    "I think y'all need to stop yelling so I can hear what it is that you've all got going on." Keith tried to reply, but the wave of boos leveled at him was exceptionally loud. 

    "I am the forest chieftain! I have already blessed this man with divine insight! He shall carry it through his bloodline for a thousand years and be the father of many a mortal warrior!" He exclaimed, but it was too late. The forest glen had descended into chaos as the spirits left the community to go out and fend for themselves. 

Some would say this Keith was the bringer of the end. Some thought that he was the great evil that was prophesied that would destroy the Fae world. But none could argue that he was a silly, piffling trifle of a man. 

With no choice, the Chieftain was forced to expel the dreaded Keith into the real world but left the blessing intact. No one knew what this would mean for the coming reckoning, but at the very least his offspring would be some of the most important in the universe. 

    Even if nothing else in his life was going right, Nicky knew that he'd always have job security working in a video rental store. It was one of the few growth industries left and if he stayed the course, he'd have free video rentals for the rest of his life. 

He smiled as he took  a bite of his ham sandwich with mustard and gazed on the buzz of his television screen. On it, a buxom blonde in a skimpy dress purred at a man in the trench coat and lopsided fedora. He wasn't exactly sure what they were saying as he'd forgotten to pay attention when it started, but at least they seemed highly invested. With one hand in his pants, and the other butting out the last embers of a roach, he sat back and exhaled a thick plume of smoke into his luxurious basement apartment. He didn't have anyone to impress today, and if he didn't have to put on pants, all the better. 

    The woman screeched. Maybe she was being murdered or something. That would've made for a good movie. He'd have to watch this again soon. Whatever it was. 

    Before long, the credits rolled and Nicky slouched forwards. With a yawn, he shuffled to his feet and ambled his way into the kitchen. It wasn't a very nice kitchen, but he did his best to keep it well stocked. He had all the essentials- Cheezits, pop tarts, soda, beer, mustard- everything he needed to have the perfect lazy day. 

Unfortunately, more and more of his days were turning into lazy days. With no close friends outside of his work circle and no prospective dates in the future, he didn't feel compelled to make an effort regarding his appearance. Grabbing a warm beer from the fridge he cracked it open sending a shower of foam all over his hands and face. With a curse he put it down on the dirty counter and started to lick it off. Some might consider this uncouth, but he wasn't about to waste mediocre beer. 

    RING!

    His eyes shot over to the avocado colored phone that hung on the wall. With a grunt he shuffled over to it, picked up the receiver and held it to his ear. It normally had a cord that could extend out and across the street, but was currently balled into a tangle so intense, Nicky could barely hold it a foot away from the wall. He reminded himself later to hold it by the cord and let it spin. 

    "Hello?" Nicky grumbled. 

    "Hey Nicky!" The shrill happy voice sent his eyes rolling back into his head so hard he could see his thoughts. "Nicky! Baby! Nicky! It's your mom! You know, the one that birthed you?" His mom was the only person he knew who pronounced birthed as a three syllable word. He shook his head and sighed.  

    "Hi mom." 

   "Hey Nicky! I wanted to know if you wanted to come by today. Bill and I are going shopping so we wont be home from 1-6 but you can come before or after. Okay baby? Will we see you then?" His hands clenched the phone a bit tighter. He could hear a spritzing sound as his mom drenched her head in hairspray. 

    "Did you want me to come by today?" 

    "Only if you want to baby. But listen! I'm going to be done from after six okay? It's just a bit of shopping but I really need to get it done and Bill is just such a help with it all. Why not come by for dinner after? Would you like that baby?" Nicky sighed. 

    "Will Bill be there?" 

    "Of course! Why wouldn't Bill be here? He lives here! He says a-hi by the way." 

    "Look- I'm a bit-" 

    "What do you have against Bill?" Her voice went from saccharine sweet to lemon sour in an instant. The tone was accusatory and Nicky kicked the wall. He squeezed at his temples as if trying to massage them off his face. 

    "Nothing mom. Look, I'll come by around eight if you-" 

    “Oh goody," the sweet tone cooed. "You're such a good son sometimes. Okay baby! I'll see you later then! Okay! Buh bye! Bye bye now. Bill! He sai-" Nicky lumbered over to his beer and took a swig. He'd actually have to clean himself up today. Today suddenly seemed awful in comparison to what it could have been. 

    He took the beer into the bathroom and precariously balanced it on the back of the toilet. Stripping down he caught a glimpse of himself in the dirty mirror and frowned. He had a good three days worth of stubble and his toothbrush was looking more like a dog toy than a hygienists tool. He didn't want to go to the dentist, but he knew that eventually he'd have to in order to discover just how damaged his teeth were. While he was nothing special to look at, but he also didn't feel any pressure to look better than he did. His body was soft but he still had some muscle underneath from when he'd played sports long ago. His hair was dark and shaggy, but his eyes were a piercing green which gave him a mysterious quality.

He leaned over to the shower and turned the wheel which allowed a thick stream of off-color water to drizzle out of the rusty head. It wasn't the nicest, but at least it usually warned him before it became painfully hot or icy cold. He dangled his fingers in the stream and shrugged- it would have to do.   

    He poured a healthy portion of shampoo into his meaty paw and lathered it through his locks. He swore he could feel some of the hairs leaving his scalp but he hoped he was just imagining it. Sadly that was becoming all too frequent lately, but he was in his late twenties, so it was bound to happen at least a little. He sighed and tried to look up, only for a dollop of shampoo to worm it's way directly into his eye. the sting was monumental and instantaneous - and Nicky let out a yell of pain as he tried to gather enough water in his hands to scrub it out. 

Then the doorbell rang and his shower plunged from a decent heat to Arctic beach. The drop in temperature was so rapid that he spiraled into his shower curtain and tumbled out of the shower, colliding with the wall and then the floor in that order. Shampoo now cascaded down his face and into his eyes, searing it as only tears free shampoo can. A blotch of red appeared and he could smell the scent of blood linger in his nostrils. Letting out a string of profanities, he grabbed a towel that he hoped would cover most of him and swung open the door. Apparently not knowing his own strength, the door then flew off the hinges and landed with a thud in the middle of his living room. 

    The doorbell rang again, this time causing all the lights in his basement abode to flicker. He let out a guttural yell and flung open the front door, adhering the tiny towel to his most sensitive area as best he could. He probably looked more like a beast at this point with a head full of blood and shampoo and a scowl on his face eager to tear apart whatever he came across. Standing outside was his friend Teddy. 

    "Hey Nicky." Teddy was one of those guys who had a new job every week. Pleasant enough but the type of white person who thought that mayo was a spice. His short brown hair and blue eyes made him look clean cut, but deep down, he actually was. 

    "Teddy? What are you-?" 

    "You got a package." Nicky paused before looking down and crossing his legs. He realized that the towel he got was closer to a face cloth but he didn't think it was that small. "No- A package." Teddy held a small package wrapped in brown paper in his hands and tried not to make eye contact. 

    "Ah! Yes. Quite." He said as he grabbed the package from Teddy and maneuvered it inside. "Do I need to sign for it or-" 

    "Yeah. Here." Teddy said as he gave him a clipboard. Nicky then looked from it, to the towel, to the package, to his package and tried to maneuver in his brain how he was supposed to sign for it. 

“Doing this now?” 

“Yeah. For now. We'll see.” Teddy replied.  "You still at-" 

    "Mideo Video? Yeah." 

    "You really like it there huh?"

    "It's good for what I want to do." Nicky said as he clicked the pen and gave it back to Teddy. 

    "Oh yeah? What's that?" Teddy asked. 

    "Thanks for the package." Nicky backed his way into the house but Teddy stopped him. 

    "Hey- If you ever want to grab a brew or something I'm just down the street."

“Yeah. I mean- Yeah.” Nicky closed the door and gazed at the package. He wasn't sure who had sent it, or what it was, or why he should want it but a free package was a free package. 

For a moment, he debated on opening it, but as a fresh glob of blood entered his vision he realized that should probably take priority.