Little Red (riding in the hood)

I would like to dedicate this book to Josie and Jabaree, my granddaughter and grandson. They are now teenagers and they want me to assure everyone that none of the characters in this story are based on them or any of their friends.

Little Red (Riding in the hood)

Little Red was riding in the hood

When she met Tyrone the wolf, who as usual was up to no good.

The wolf said, “Hey little mama, where are you off to?”

Red said, “I’m going to Big Mama’s house, but please tell me again,

What does that have to do with you?”

Tyrone said, “Be cool baby. I’m not trying to harass you.”

“You see there’s a party tonight, and I thought that you might, want to slide on through.”

Red said, “A party at your house? Oh I do not think so!”

The wolf smiled and said, “Aw naw, see what you need to know is

the party’s at Big Mama’s house and we gone raise up the roof.

May a bolt of lightning strike me if I’m not telling you the truth?”

Tyrone was not trying to be unkind, but the news about Big Mama blew Little Red’s mind.

She took off so fast that she made a red streak.

She busted in on Big Mama and said,

“Why didn’t you tell me you was a party freak?!”

Big Mama said, “A party freak? Child what are you talking about?”

“I heard you was gone party with the wolf!”

Little Red said with a shout,

Big Mama smiled and said, “We’re just gonna play some dominoes.”

“And Red you know how I do, by the time that I get through,

That wolf may have to go home without his shoes.”

Little Red gave Big Mama a naughty little grin

Tyrone the wolf had no idea, how much trouble he would soon be in.

By seven o’clock the party was in full swing

Goldilocks had everybody shocked; by the way she did her thing.

The three little pigs were dancing a jig

With old Mother Hubbard, who danced out of her wig

Lil’ Bo Peep and her snow white sheep

Were doin the Cupid shuffle trying to stay on the beat

The Mad Hatter was throwing cards at the Cheshire cat

Peter Pan said, “Come on man why you gotta’ act like that?”

The Mad Hatter said, “Mind your business little boy”

“I will beat you and mistreat you, like you was a cheap toy!”

The white rabbit said, “Uh-oh man, you shouldn’t have said that”

The Mad Hatter stood as stiff as a board,

when he felt the sharp edge of Peter Pan’s sword

It looked like things was about to heat up

It looked like somebody was about to get beat up

Mother Goose grabbed the mic and said,

“Look out y’all, Pan is about to go upside this fool’s head!”

Then just as the clock began to strike ten

Tyrone the wolf came slowly walking in

Little Miss Muffet jumped off her tuffet, and ran to the closet to hide.

A big black spider, dropped down beside her and said, “Hey mama let’s go for a ride.”

Muffet reached inside her purse and said, “Man you better let my words back you up!”

“Cause’ When I come up outa’ my purse I’m gone’ jack you up!”

The spider said, “I did not come here to get into no fight”

So he took a deep breath and jumped clean out of sight

While all this was going on, the donkey from Shrek said, “Can’t we all just get along?”

Somebody threw a chair and donkey got the heck up outta there

Just then Big Mama announced that it was time to get down with the bones,

Just like she predicted, Tyrone lost nearly everything he owned.

For a while that wolf couldn’t stop himself from grinning

For the first time in a long time he thought that he was winning

Then suddenly the tide was turned

And once again Tyrone was burned

That wolf stood up and said, “Now ain’t this just some stuff!”

, “Y’all must have forgot, I can be mighty rough!”

He said, “Before I go home in my bare feet,

“Some of y’all in here I just might have to eat.”

Big Mama told Little Red, “Use my cell phone to call up your cousin Dan,

because as you know Cousin Dan is the man.”

Officer Dan Woods stepped through the door and said, “Don’t anybody make a move!”

“Now somebody better tell me, who’s trying to spoil Big Mama’s groove?”

Everybody pointed to Tyrone, who gave Officer Dan a sick little grin

He said, “Look here Officer Dan, you just have to understand the situation that I’m in.”

Tyrone said, “I came here to this party to play dominoes all in good faith.”

“But before I knew what had happened, I was like a fish caught on a hook, chasing bait.”

He said, “Now what they did to me well it just ain’t right,

and I’ll eat up everybody in here before I go out without a fight!”

Officer Dan recognized and quickly passed this test.

He busted the wolf across the head and placed him under arrest.

Tyrone the wolf sat in his cell rubbing his aching head

And these are the words that he sadly said,

“I guess it’s about time for me to leave this part of the world’

and I promise to stay away from big mamas who play dominoes,

and I’ll never again speak to another tough talking girl.

The end