A few weeks ago, I lost my best friend/significant other/partner/love of my life - I could go on and on with that....but that would be boring and morose and I'm not about that. His name was Mark and he truly was the love of a lifetime (look the song up and insert the soundtrack here, for the movie that will eventually be made out of this book - what can I say, I'm an optimist). One of the things that brought us together was our sense of humor, even in the worst of times. He had his right up to the end, and I tried to hold up my end of the bargain - I think I did a pretty good job. And now, after the fact, it's hard to find humor in anything - some days I don't.

However, life goes on...

Anyhow, he died of cancer, which is a terrible disease and kills tens of thousands of people every year. The horribleness of it plays out over and over again, every day, around the world, but when it happens to YOU, it becomes part of your life, and your own personal Hell. There is no cure, but there is treatment. It works for some and not for others - it wasn't an option for Mark. Cancer was swift and deadly for him, and took us completely by horrible, awful surprise. 'Surprise' doesn't seem like the right word - when I think of a surprise, I think of something fun, exciting, and wonderful. Cancer was none of these things.

This is a story about finding and losing the man I loved, with all my heart. We were an odd couple, to say the least, but had known each other for years before we started seeing each other (our first date lasted an entire weekend - whee!). Neither one of us had a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of, but we were smitten from the start. We were together a little less than two years, but we truly did live a lifetime in that short window. In your fifties, there is no time to  lose - you've got to make the most of everything, and we certainly did.

So, this is our story - I'm writing it down because it's helping me and I hope it helps those of you who are also struggling with losing that someone who was the 'love of a lifetime'....

Patti