As she lay back on the bed, the storm outside was resolute in its mission to frighten the fragile. It wasn’t Amber who was the fearful one, but Adam, her soon to be ex, as he lay quietly with her feet working his penis. And it was annoying her. But not for long. She was resolving the issue. When he began to come, she smiled as she reached to palm the little pearl inlay gun from under the pillow. Bringing her hand up, she took the shot at his head. She hoped his cries and final grunt blended with the ferocity of the thunder and lightning. For what seemed like the smallest of moments, when she was thrown back hard against the headboard, lightning-like bolts made their way through every cell in her body. Her eyes, for a split second, widened in fear, freezing her smile. It took another second for her lips to soften back across her teeth, a dimple forming.

Letting herself relax, she closed her eyes against the stress that had widened them a minute ago, and reflected on what had transpired earlier at dinner, when the storm had barrelled its way toward them. In its absolute wisdom, the storm had offered Amber another option for ridding herself of the ever-clingier Adam. Now she found it irritated her to be cossetted at every opportunity in the name of love. At the beginning, she’d enjoyed the attention, but now she felt smothered by it.

#

Her phone call to work two days ago to call in her accumulated two and half days had made her sweat. The beads of moisture that had collected on her forehead had run all the way down to her mouth. Her salty request to her coordinator, felt uneasy for a few seconds. And messy.

When she wiped her mouth, with the tissue from the nearby box, she calmed: the fragility left her. And she was again reminded that calm was her normal. Frazzled was not.

Completing her request for leave over the phone gave Amber sufficient time to upload the street map where her rendezvous with Adam would be masterminded. There were moments in the conversation where what her boss was saying barely registered, but she eventually got it sorted.

As she continued to stalk the map on the screen, embedding its streetscape in her mind to make sure she knew the surrounding area in case something went awry with her plan, she finally settled.

Amber called Adam. The short reminder about where they were meeting for their designated role-play was quickly relayed over the second mobile she owned. It was something they had been doing over the past six months, to spice things up. This time, the game was to pick her up outside the library three hours away. As he rolled the window down, the setup was to call her Sissie, short for Cassandra, and nothing at all to do with Amber.

             He replied knowingly, nodding agreement, ‘Okay, can’t wait.’

Amber’s early morning attention was hijacked by thoughts of the new life she was embarking on, and knowing that money would be no object sweetened the dream. Smiling to herself, she could already feel the fullness of her future freedom. 

With the first rays of the day’s sun following her, she strode into her bedroom and inspected her red bikini, matching sarong, and new Jimmy Choo shoes, while contemplating the space left in her bag. Even with her toiletries, the bag wouldn’t be too heavy to carry the few blocks from where she would leave her car.

Her intention to run away fit the role well. Her anxiety, for all intents and purposes, would suit the act. Gazing into the art deco mirror, the face in it shot her a strange look. She saw the doubt there in that moment. But only for a second. As her mood swung back into top gear, she gave the brocade bedspread the once-over, and picked up the bag.

She shook her head free and headed for the car, but busy images kept darting across her mind, so she slid the bag onto the back seat and opened it for a last minute check, slipping her hand down the sides, where she felt her underwear. Satisfied, she zipped the bag closed, stepped back, and slammed the door.

Finally satisfied with her choices, her mind sang with the tune of a slow love song; the kind you danced to without looking up. And it was that slow dance in her mind that brought her attention to her wrist slung over the shoulder of a partner, one that embodied an array of dreams of love. It was a magnificently bejewelled wrist.

With the engine already rumbling, it was a startled hand that turned the key again, cutting the motor. She reached back to the rear passenger seat, fingers searching again. After a speedy feel around the jewellery purse, she rolled the satin edges together, tying the whole lot down with the red satin ribbon. Done. She zipped it shut, the sharp sound prickling like lightning. 

Ready to set off, she was interrupted by the running buzz from the green arrow on her phone. She nearly jumped out of her skin when her work number appeared. Quickly swiping left to right, she uttered, ‘Yes, it’s Amber.’

Nerrida, her HR coordinator, had rung to confirm the details of her leave. There had been a miscommunication.

‘Sorry about that. Yes, that’s right. It does rather seem as if we are both a bit lost when it comes to dates.’ Laughing it off, hoping the double-entendre sounded half polite. ‘I’ve been at it twenty-four seven.’

The friendly reply seemed to settle the confusion. ‘Yeah, we all need a break sometimes’.

We sure do,’ she said, her teeth bared, relieved her frustration was hidden.

‘Have a good time. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, or if you do, do it badder and better.’ Nerrida giggled.  

Despite having settled that, Amber couldn’t help but feel uneasy and wondered whether she had forgotten something other than her calendar dates.

After hanging up, she reached over to the back seat yet again. She had to find what was niggling at her. She checked her satin jewellery purse and realised what was wrong. She’d forgotten something so very important.

Leaping from the car, she dashed back to her bedroom. It was on top of her wardrobe, where she kept her winter jumpers. She reached up and sought out the bronze case, then sat on the bed and carefully flicked the satin holds aside. She took the piece in her hand. The fit was perfect. She made a fist around it, palming the gun out of sight.

A nod and smile to no one in particular warmed her belly at the sheer art of it. Making a quick retreat out the front door, past the many faceted reflections of herself, Amber’s haste nearly landed her in the garden when her silver stiletto hit a loose paving stone. She steadied herself, continuing her race to the car, before a neighbour caught sight of her. She didn’t need any gossip to follow her. 

Any latent fear or anxiety that had left her sweaty in the hidden crevasses of her body settled as soon as she steered the car out of the drive. By the time she’d parked under a tree two blocks away from the library, she was already three hours from home. Nobody knew her here. And she was glad.

Stepping from the car, she opened the back door to reach for her overnight bag. Check, she thought to herself. Car parked, and locked. Check. Bag in hand, she walked over to the concrete path leading to the library, happy to avoid getting her heels stuck in the thick grass or caked with mud.

The huge trees that flanked the library must have been at least a hundred years old, and the wooden benches underneath them gave her a perfect view while she waited for Adam.

From her vantage point at the high end of the wooden bench, Amber watched traffic slide past. A half-hour later, the sight of Adam in his hire car, turning off the highway and onto the service road, made her heart miss a beat. It would be another few minutes before he was idling alongside of her, to give her the once-over.

‘Sissie,’ she whispered, as she looked in through the car window.

‘Adam, I’m Adam,’ he said, not having thought of a moniker. He opened the door slowly, and he watched her long legs make a V shape as she settled in bedside him. Pulling the car door shut, she leaned back to place her bag on the back seat. She gave him a dimpled smile, and he reached over, playing his fingers down the side of her face.

Where they were to dine was another two hours away, and it was to the saucy sounds of his favourite jazz that Adam drove. This was a night of celebration, with a morning at the beach to follow if tomorrow was as sunny. Nodding to the beat of the music, all seemed calm in the car. Until a newsflash cut in and they heard the storm warning; it was going to be a bad one. Amber’s heart pounded and she closed her mouth to stop herself from gasping.

When they finally swung into the car park of the restaurant, Amber’s earlier dark mood subsided. Inside the restaurant, they were ushered in as Mr and Mrs Fury, a choice made by Adam. Mrs Fury smiled at the waiter, as he waved a white damask napkin across her lap. In no time, she was holding a long stemmed glass of Perrier. Amber felt the high-end glamour of faux French gold-trimmed mirrors gave her an emotional edge that would render well with her later plans. Seeing herself from every angle gave her an update of the beauty of it all.

With her mood smoothed over by the Latin groove playing in the background, Amber rolled and shimmied her shoulders at Adam. She was bewitching in her role, and Adam lapped up every second of it. They must surely have appeared to be madly in love to the other diners.

The thought of missing out on her bikini beach day tomorrow charged her face with worry, but to Adam, the flames burning bright on her cheeks looked like the reflection of his desire. Her plans would have to be changed, which was bothersome, but the end result would be the same. She would come back from the secluded bay on her own.

The bay she had chosen off the Great Ocean Road had been one of many locations for photo shoots she had done in the past. Knowledge of the more secluded locations came from her modelling days. In those days, nude photography had to be kept out of the public eye, even if the photos did eventually turn up in magazines. She thought many a time about the double standards of the business. Time and place, she thought. She had moved away from those days. She was the smart one out of the many girls who had since faded out of the limelight and away from the money. 

Amber had chosen study: economics and accounting. They were her poison. And she did them well. Passing with flying colours. The finance company that had snatched her up had never looked back; nor had she. She had made them a lot of money, and vice versa. Her mind floated with past images of herself. As she swirled her drink, her lazy second, in her long fingered hand, she was interrupted, ‘Hey, Amb…Sissie,’ he corrected himself, ‘back to earth…you’re aeons away’.

‘Sorry, it’s just so lovely here, with you. I guess I got carried away by all this,’ she added, with a flourish of her hand which included him in the gorgeous décor.

Taking advantage of the moment, Adam leaned his long frame across Amber. The deep kiss gentled her back to reality.

Once they had resumed their seats, the waiter arrived with their entrées, which were promptly followed by their eagerly awaited main course. Neither had eaten lunch that day, but that wasn’t the only thing that left Amber feeling starved.

She was enjoying her medium rare fillet mignon when an almighty clap of thunder landed in the middle of their reverie over the meal and startled her.

The waiter tried to bring them up to speed on the weather.

‘In these regions, you never know when the storm is hours, a day, two days, or even minutes away. Forecasters get it wrong most of the time. I hope it won’t spoil your plans. We do have suites upstairs, just in case’.

Amber responded quickly and sweetly before Adam could.

‘No, that’s okay. We have family close by. But thanks anyway.’ Her smile sealed the lie.

Cutting into her mignon, Amber felt her veins freeze at the sight of the pink meat in front of her. She shuddered as she withdrew her bloodied knife. She had always liked her steak rare and was surprised by her reaction.

For a moment, she found herself caught up with what lay ahead. And with that thought, she wasn’t sure what had frightened her most; that she could go through with it, or the opposite. Laying the knife down at the side of her plate, she contemplated the reflection she caught in one of the many mirrors surrounding her. She had to keep a smile on her face. She didn’t want Adam to see her without one.

‘Mmmm, this is orgasmic,’ she purred, and her tongue slowly worked the next mouthful of mignon. She felt the juices swish around, and all the while, she reassembled her plans. By the time she had finished the third bite, along with the seared vegetables they were both sharing, her inner turmoil had subsided. In that short time, Amber’s plan had been reassigned to another location, one they had to find tonight after dinner. Even though they were more than three hundred kilometres from their respective homes in the greater area of Melbourne, Amber scanned the restaurant to make sure there was no one there she knew.

All good. Tick.

She liked ticking things off. It made it real, and gave any project she was on an air of success. It made her feel calm, confident that it would all work out.

Rising to leave, Adam was still fanning down the waiter’s effusive invitation to stay in one of the suites. It pleased Amber that he had followed her earlier lead on the invitation and declined. She didn’t have to come across as the tough one. This way was easier. There was less to remember them by, apart from the pass on the suite.

Another clap of thunder from above felt like a grenade. Followed by lightning. The night sky brimmed over with a necklace of light. The storm’s bosom, full of menace, was upon them now.

As they stepped outside into the car park at the back of the restaurant, they were wet right through. Always the gentleman, Adam hurried to open the door for her, and it irked every bone in her body. Meek, not gallant, was the word that fell with each weighted downpour from the dark heavens. But she said nothing. Feeling needed made Adam happy. Her too. And that was alright for now.

Adam did all he could to keep Sissie dry as they ran to the car. He held his jacket over her head, but it was futile against the sheet of cold rain.

‘I can’t see a thing,’ he said, laughing as he swatted the drizzle of rain from his mouth.

By the time he had closed the door, she was already reaching for the towel in the back. She dried herself with one end of it and left the other for Adam. One look at each other and all they could do was laugh. They were like drowned rats.

The laughter continued. ‘Look at my hair. It’s stuck all over my face. I look like a drowned rat’. To which he roared, ‘Well, look at me. My glasses are sliding from my eyes, and I can’t see a thing either’.

She hoped with all the rain, her expression of disdain and disgust at his attempt to keep the mood light would be disguised as worry. With hands busy, wiping brows, eyelashes, ears and necks, there was time to reconvene with her inner mood. The look she gave Adam as she peeked out from under the edge of the turquoise triangle of towel filled the car with a giggle. With a raised dry eyebrow, her previous impervious look was winked away with a smile. He returned a smile, and squeezed her loose hand. She squeezed back, while he slowly manoeuvred them to safety. In the dark, he veered a right out of the car park, and away from the restaurant.

They made for the motel sign Amber had spotted fleetingly through the lightning blaze. It was there in the distance, beyond the lightning strikes, Amber saw the motel sign. It looked cheap, perhaps three star. But that would suit, as she yelled, ‘There, there a motel’, at Adam as he stared into what was a short-lived spark, then specks of light, and back to black.

Adam would have missed it, so intent was he on keeping the car safe on the increasingly slippery road. And it didn’t let up. As soon as he had the car settled into some sort of straight, the slip was on again, left and right. Another swerve would have them entirely off the road, down the embankment. Amber thought for a short moment that this would be karma, if they were both killed in a head-on, or a plunge down a steep rock face.

The scare quickened her breathing. Amber was not one to give in to fear if it got in the way of her plans. And this evening, the weather had caused fuss, but provided the backdrop for any obtuse expression which happened to crawl its way across her face. Adam could think it was all about their safety. That was fine with her. it gave her the emotional space to be different. And it wouldn’t matter. He would not be put out.

The spark which had cut the sky into so many different parts had revealed a B&B beside the motel. Driving carefully, Adam idled into the drive, stopping under the awning in front of the small reception sign.

He returned with the keys to room twelve. ‘Two nights.’

‘Ooh, okay. Sounds good. That’ll fit with my leave,’ she said with a wink, not mentioning the extra day.

For a fraction of a second, his smile pulled her heartstrings. Another look at him and she would start to shy away from her plan. If she continued to warm to his love for her, she would be done. But she quickly turned her thoughts to the darker part of her heart, the part that was tired of him. And it worked. It strengthened her resolve to go through with everything she had been planning for the last two weeks.

They found number twelve, a surprisingly large suite around the back, where the garden of the B&B was, and parked the car in its designated space. Adam got out, opened the door, and dropped his bag on the floor as he rushed to the bathroom to get a dry towel. He then hurried back and held the towel over Amber as she walked into the room.

Once inside, he headed back into the bathroom. Amber knew he was frozen right through.

‘I’ll unpack.’

She smiled at him as his clothes slid from his body. Chilled to the bone, Adam couldn’t wait to get under the hot shower.

‘I won’t be too long. Maybe a bit longer than usual though.’

He shivered.

She smiled at him, then repeated, ‘I’ll unpack.’

She hoped the sound of metal zippers, wardrobe doors stopping at a hard jolt, and thumping on shelves would make it sound like she was unpacking. She knew he wouldn’t be looking in there. He always unpacked the following morning. She couldn’t stand it, feeling it was a disorganised way to be. But right now, it was the right kind of disorganised.

His longer than usual shower worked, giving her time to stash the little pearl gun, put her mobile on the bedside table next to the obligatory bible, and leave her watch. But the bible made her shudder, so she shoved it into the drawer. She’d had enough judgement in the past. Banging the drawer shut provided some redemption.

Once Adam had finished, she laid her wet clothes over the chaise and made for the shower. As she passed him, she purred and puckered her lips. The kiss was quick but soft.

From under the shower, she heard Adam pull the bed sheets back and fluff the pillows. She nearly died on the spot.

She held her breath, but he didn’t utter a word, so she knew he hadn’t touched hers. She waited another second before putting the shower on full-bore. The hard stream of water somehow took away the fright she’d just had.

Dry and warm, she let the thick fluffy towel fall onto the bathmat. Picking up her lingerie, she drew the hot pink crotchless knickers over her tanned body. When she added the red and gold bustier, it made her glow. With the robe over the top, the surprise would be all his eventually. It had been ages since they’d had this kind of fun. She simply had to make the most of it.

She steeled herself and entered the bedroom, but there was no hiding her shock. Adam was a sight to behold. He’d chosen to dress gangsta style. He laughed as he unzipped his costume, and as it fell around his ankles, he extricated a gun from its holster and waved it high above his head. It made her heart skip a beat, and she felt sick for a second.

‘Sissie, it’s a fake. But a good one, huh?’

Amber collected herself and climbed onto the bed. Undoing her robe, she bent her legs, letting them fall apart, wide, one at a time. She found his arousal beautiful.

He pulled her up, into a deep kiss, and she pulled him into a twist beneath her. Once he was under her, she slid herself over him, whole. Taking him inside her excited and panicked her at the same time.

He didn’t seem to notice, which made Amber reflect on how making love or having outrageous sex could sound just about like any emotion possible, even anger and fear. She knew he would soon be spent inside her, so took her pleasure just as quickly, gasping in chorus with him.

As they rolled away from each other, panting, Amber’s mind was already busy trying to figure out how to get him into the desired position for her plan to work. Within minutes, the problem solved itself. Adam slid to the end of the bed, his feet at her lips and her feet at his.

She gently cricked her legs so her feet could take his penis between them. Her heart raced as she manipulated the slide and rotation, knowing he would rise again. His semen spilled all over her feet, trickling over each toe at a time.

When the gun went off, it was unexpectedly quiet. His eyes bore witness to his shock for an instant, and when he stilled, the noise hung in the room, the memory of it frightening her.

She looked away from the sight of him at the end of the bed, then picked the mobile up and fingered the redial button.

‘Yes, come straight away. The door is open, so close it when you arrive.’

Three hours later, she heard the doorknob squeak, and her husband stepped inside.

She saw the alarm on his face at the sight of the man at the end of the bed. His head was moving back and forth at the gruesome sight, as if he were at a tennis match. It was unlike any other movement she had ever seen him make; his head seemed to rotate, and if he didn’t stop soon, she was sure there was every chance of it falling from his neck and shoulders and onto the floor. Clunk.

‘See, Peter, I do love you,’ was meant as an assurance.

But the shock remained on his face as he uttered but never quite completed his response. ‘I always knew you loved meee…’

She watched as he slumped to the ground like an accordion, folding and unfolding, resurrecting to full height, then down again. It continued for at least twenty seconds and was freaking her out, while at the same time, there was something awkwardly funny about it. 

The storm outside claimed her as the window latches shuddered, just like her heart. Lightning bolts and roars of thunder hammered her every nerve, judging her.

With the suite at the back of the building, she hoped all the noise had been contained. In any case, with wild weather rolling on in and inflicting all the fierceness nature had to offer, there was no getting away. She would have to remain there for the rest of the night to shelter from the storm.

In the calm of the morning, she quickly gathered her things, not once looking at the two men. But they came at her from the large gilt mirrors, blurring themselves into a grotesque masterpiece of expressionistic art. In fright, she wrenched the door open, and doing her best to quell her fear, she made for the car; her car, the one Peter had driven across the Great Ocean Road to be with her. She unlocked the door, slid the bag onto the passenger seat, and drove away, never once looking back.

The thrill of driving home, following the sunrise made yesterday’s dark stormy weather seem such a long time ago. As Amber drove, she nodded and tapped the steering wheel to the beats of Nina Simone.

As she tapped and hummed, disturbing images of dead bodies floated above her. She decided to pull into the next petrol station to settle her nerves.

The acuteness of calm was in the take away coffee cup she held hard in her hand as she slid back behind the wheel. A second later she nearly threw the lot all over herself at the sound of knocking on her window.

It was the attendant returning her wallet. Part of her mind felt an unease at her forgetfulness, while another wondered whether it was her imagination as she saw herself lift the body of her lover into the backseat of her car, and roll her husband along the floor of the B&B to the door until she had purchase of his body to lift him, placing him beside the other.  

Was she delusional? Her confusion amped up as her awareness of a voice, that of her twin, Cassandra rang in her head. All the while, she watched as her twin pulled the chain saw from the boot of the car, then went to work on the two men. They were no longer lounging in awkward positions in the backseat, but in Picasso like shapes in plastic bags.

Suddenly excitement mounted as she watched her twin and herself stop at the beach, climb from the car, and lift their cargo into the swell of offshore waves. Covered in blood, they sank into the water, laughing and screaming like children in a wild game of surf and rescue.

A moment later, tilting her head back to taste the last of the thick crema of her coffee, Amber gradually felt the strange sensations that had earlier invaded her body, dissipate, leaving her with a calm she had not felt for some time. Amber was surprised that when she looked forward she was still at the service station. Looking around, there was no sign or sound of the earlier commotion: ends of sentences, ‘….too heavy. I can’t….,’ and ‘fuck! I’ll do it... Just get out of my wayyyy.’

Another look around, found she was alone. Sitting back, Amber turned the motor on. Pausing, she stared down the highway, but not before a glance in the rear view mirror confirmed Sissie’s wink dimple her left cheek.