she cared too much when he cared too little.
he cared too much when she cared too little.

Allison

- 3 years earlier -

“Calum, do you believe in true love ?” I asked the black haired boy who had been one of my best friends since kinder garten. He looked down on me. “I do, why are you asking ?”

I repositioned myself so that I could rest my head on his chest.

“I don’t believe in true love,” I stated “my mom and dad said they were in love but look at them now, they can hardly look at each other.”

Calum sighed as he sat up straight. “Just because two people break up..”

“get divorced!” I interrupted him.

“Listen, Allie. Just because two people get divorced doesn’t mean they never truly loved each other.”

He was right, but that still didn’t mean I believed in true love. The kind of ‘love’ that leads to relationships is stupid anyways.

“I still don’t get it, I mean I love you but as a friend. Why can’t everyone just love each other that way, there would be so much less drama.” I pointed out.

“We don’t act like ‘friends’ though,” Calum said “people tell me what a cute couple we make daily.” We both chuckled.

It was true, Calum and I could be a couple if you’d think about how much time we spend together. After all he was my first kiss because of some odd promise we made when we were 12.. We promised that we would share our first kiss together, and so we did. We also said we loved each other and we would have sleep over parties, we just never officially ‘dated’.

“Well I should probably go, mom wants me home before midnight.” Calum said, interrupting my train of thoughts. “aw do you really have to go ?” I pouted. He laughed at my childish behaviour. “Yes, Allie, I have to.”

I led my best friend to the front door where we hugged our goodbyes.

“Bye Cal.”

“Bye Allie.”

I was about to close the door when he came running back, stopping infront of me. He leaned down and kissed me, which caught me off guard quite a bit.

“ps. I love you.” He said, smiling at me one last time before disappearing into the darkness of the night.

..Back then I would have never thought that night would be our last night together..

Allison

“Winters, Hemmings this is the last time I’m asking you to be quiet before I’ll kick you out!” the sneering sound of my history teacher’s voice filled the classroom. I turned to my best friend trying to keep myself from cracking up completely. Luke and I had been friends for 3 years now and we were practically inseparable, we sat next to each other in every class we shared and often hung out after school. I guess you could say Luke and I belonged to the slightly more popular group of the school, which was probably why our obnoxious behavior never really bothered the other students all that much, unlike the teachers.. I don’t think I can possibly count the amount of times Luke and I have gotten into trouble together, which is also the main reason why my parents and I haven’t been getting along that well recently. Thank god I had Luke, whose parents were also much nicer than my own I must say. Luke would always let me crash at his place when my parents were raging on me, I was definitely lucky to have such a good friend.

The bell rang signaling that fifth period was over, out of habit I grabbed my bag from beneath my seat and just as I started packing up my stuff miss Hunters called both Luke and I out.

“Lucas, Allison, did you not hear what I just said ? We need to have a talk.” I could hear Luke sigh after our teacher had called him Lucas, which caused me chuckle.

“Something funny, Winters ?” miss Hunters scoffed.

“Nope.” I shrugged nonchalantly.

Luke and I made our way over to the front of the classroom and waited for the old, grumpy lady to tell us what she had to say.

“So kids,” she started “my colleagues and I have been discussing something that has been a problem for quite a while now.” I cringed at her choice of words but still tried my best to keep a straight face as I impatiently nodded my head, motioning for her to continue.

“And the thing is, you two keep interrupting our classes.” My best friend chuckled, probably preparing himself for yet another rant about how we need to start paying attention more bla bla bla. “and so we have decided you can’t sit together anymore.”

My heart dropped.

“what !?” Luke called out, he had the same shocked expression on his face as I had.

“I’m sorry kids, but we have warned you plenty of times and we can no longer tolerate your obnoxious behavior.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I exclaimed “that’s bullsh-.. I mean that’s not fair. We will be quiet I promise, you can’t just tear us apart!”

I could see Luke aggressively nodding his head in agreement in the corner of my eye.

“I’m really sorry, but we already paired the both of you up with someone else.” Miss Hunters explained. I briefly rolled my eyes.

“would you like to know who you will be sitting next to for the rest of the year ?” she asked. Well duh captain obvious, I nodded my head in annoyance.

“Let me see, Hemmings and Clifford..Michael Clifford.”

I shot my best friend a sympathetic smile, Michael was nice he was just a little, uh, strange ?

“And Winters, you will be sitting next to Calum.. Calum Hood.” My heart dropped to my stomach as I felt myself getting sick.

No. No no no no NO. Out of all people it had to be Calum !?

Luke draped his arm across my shoulder in an attempt to make me feel better but failed miserably.

“Miss, no please this has to be a joke ? you’re joking right !?” I spat at the old lady who shook her head, and didn’t even bother looking up at me.

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“Al, Allie wait!” I could hear Luke’s heavy footsteps coming up behind me, yet I didn’t slow down. Away. I had to get away from here. I pushed the heavy doors that led outside open when I felt two arms grab my waist, I was lifted off the floor with my back pressed against the cold, brick wall of our school building. I knew it was Luke who had picked me up and so I flung my arms around his neck hugging him tightly. I didn’t cry, I had cried enough over that prick.

“Don’t you dare run away from me again.” Luke chuckled before carefully placing me back on the ground. I sighed, running my fingers through my wavy, brown locks.

“this is bullshit though.” I said. My best friend nodded his head in agreement.

“I know but we only have to sit next to them, it’s not like we actually have to make conversation or something.” He smiled. Even though I could tell he wasn’t very convinced about what he just said, it was still the thing I loved most about Luke.. his positivity.

He knew that Calum and I used to be best friends, just like he knew how much I hated Calum now. Yet I never told him why Calum and I weren’t friends anymore, truth be told, I didn’t even know the exact reason.. I mean, obviously I know why I stopped talking to him but today, 3 years after the incident, I still didn’t understand why Calum did what he did. I didn’t spent a lot of time thinking about it either though, knowing myself that would only hurt me more.

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“I think we should go to our next class now.” Luke said, giving me a quick, reassuring hug. I just nodded my head, slowly making my way through the cold, boring school hallways. Luke and I had spent our lunch break outside talking about absolutely nothing, as usual. But now here I was, about to face the person I was hoping to never speak to ever again.

“Allison, Luke, I’m guessing you guys are aware of your seat changes ?” Luke and I both nodded our head, letting mister Johnson know that we were very well aware of who we were supposed to sit next to. Mister Johnson was our English teacher and also the only teacher I got along with, probably because he wasn’t too old himself.

My eyes awkwardly scanned the faces in the classroom, not finding the familiar black haired boy.  

“Uh sir, where does Calum usually sit ? I’m supposed to..” just then my eyes met his, as he came running through the door. An exhausted “sorry I’m late” escaped his mouth.

“speaking of the devil” I murmured under my breath so that no one could hear it apart from myself and mister Johnson, who just chuckled at my annoyed expression.

Does Calum even know about the fact that we will have to face each other for the rest of the year though.. I mean like, I’m sure they didn’t ask him because he would have never agreed.

I took place next to ‘the boy with the famous jawline’.

“Allison ?” he paused for a second, studying every inch of my body “what are you doing ?”

Okay Allie there’s no point in ignoring him you’re gonna have to deal with the prick for the rest of this year. Say something. Don’t be rude. I prepped myself.

“why do you care ?” I spat.

Wow good job Allison, that wasn’t rude at all, I sarcastically thought to myself.

“I don’t” he spat back in defence.

It hasn’t even been a minute and I already want to cry, this year is gonna be amazing.

I just rolled my eyes in return.

I tried to focus on what my teachers had to say for the rest of the day, but for some reason my eyes kept finding their way back to Calum, who seemed to be struggling with my presence just as much as I was struggling with his.

Finally after 3 hours of suffering, the bell rang to let us know we were free to go, which I gladly did. 

I quickly caught up with Luke who was already making his way outside, not really wanting to be alone.

“Luke ?” I looked over at the blue eyed boy.

“Allison.” He chuckled in return, softly bumping his shoulder against mine in a teasing way.

“Wanna hang out ?” a hopeful look was plastered on my face, that look soon faded away as Luke’s smiled vanished though.

“I’d love to Al, but my grandparents are visiting today.” He looked at me with guilt in his eyes. “but if you really don’t want to be alone you can always come over later.”

A smile reappeared on both of our faces. “thank you Lukey.”

He rolled his eyes at the nickname I had for him, causing me to laugh.

“so..” he started on a way more serious note than a few seconds ago “how was Calum ?”

I sighed. How was Calum ? I didn’t really know to be honest as I didn’t pay much attention to him.

“Uh, fine I guess. We didn’t really speak.”

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“ Mom, dad, I’m home!” I shouted, my voice echoed through the old house. Why did I even still announce my arrival, my parents were never home anyways.

I fell down on the soft cushions of our sofa, thinking about everything that had happened today. Luke and I weren't allowed to sit together anymore, I practially had a break down for the first time in a year, I spoke to Calum for the first time in 3 years.

A sudden wave of loneliness washed over me. As much as I despised Calum for what he did, I still wanted to talk to him, I wanted to ask him why he hurt me so badly. I wanted answers to questions I could never ask. I missed Calum and I hate myself for it. 

I never really discussed the subject 'Calum' with anyone but myself. Unfortunately, every time I thought of him I couldn't help but feel like it was all my fault. I blamed myself for missing someone I had been extremely close with for 13 years of my life, I know it's not wrong to miss someone who had been such a big part of my life but I just didn't want to admit that I guess. 

My train of thoughts was interrupted by my the buzzing sound of my phone. 

From: Lukey

To: Allieee

“ My grandparents left early, still wanna come over ? :) x”

From: Allieee

To: Lukey

“I was hoping you’d say something like this lol, on my way frat boy xx”

I locked my phone as I ran out the door. Luke’s house wasn’t far from mine which was great because I could always just walk over there.

My cloudy mood from earlier had suddenly made place for a much happier, reckless mood.