It Was Me

 

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Trying to be the alcoholic

 I felt like I was being engulfed by a black hole inside of me, the pain of life inside to out.

I took another sip of the drink in my hand, and then watched as it slowly slip from hand, smashing to the ground.


I was drunk and he was gone, the music pumping so loud i could feel it in my veins. 


I was stuck in the past and the future both similtanously. 


Is this what it feels like to kill the pain with alcohol 


Because it didn’t help, I was still alone and I still felt everything. The sadness creeping over me just a little more empty. 


Well at least I can say in great honour, I can love deeply and I don’t give up easily. If at all, . 


To dive into the deep end and fall deeper and deeper into the unknown to let go and let yourself fall.


I'm lying on the floor of the ocean looking through the clear water at the stars in the darkness. And it's beautiful  it's life 


To enter by wading in shallow water and only touch the surface Slowly but gently feeling the waves that eventually all encompassing engulf you into the ocean to swallow you up  into   existance - 










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