2013-2015

For Katie Miller,

my inspiration.

"He had warned her about the book. Now it was too late."

"Talys Atana Endon! I said I'm not letting you, and I mean it! You can't!" 

"I hate you!" Talys shrieked, and stormed up the carpeted steps to her room, leaving her mom to glare at the blank white walls.

Talys wanted to burn through the walls with her eyes and run away from this horror. She tore a random poster off of the wall, ignoring the voice downstairs.

"I'm leaving!" Her mom's muffled voice yelled from the kitchen, a slight tremble in her voice.

A door slammed.

Talys paused, and then crumpled the poster in her hands and threw it at the teal-painted wall. 

"Shut UP!" she yelled as the voices in her head relayed the argument to her.

An idle shoe scattered carelessly on the floor was her next victim. It bounced unharmed off the bed as she threw it across the room, and hit her precious piano, which only served to deepen her mood. Her piano seemed like her only friend, and the soft ivory keys under her fingers could usually calm her. She winced as the shoe smashed the keys into a loud discord, and got even more irritated as the sharp notes grated against her ears. The piano wouldn't help her now. This time, her mom had gone too far.

"Stupid! That little heartless....ugh! This was all her fault!"

She punched the bedpost nearest to her and uttered a loud yell as it bruised her knuckles.

Finally the mental turmoil was too much. It started with one tear, and quickly escalated until she found herself strangling her bedsheets.

Talys lay with her face stuffed into her pillow, sobs wracking her body. She whimpered there for what seemed like an hour and tried to forget.

As the crying subsided to a slight ache in her chest, she turned onto her back and folded her hands behind her head. The textured ceiling help dull her feelings, and she tried to calmly think over the scenario. The issue was something her mom and her had been arguing about it for quite some time. She should be able to handle it. She was, after all, 14. Not really a child anymore. But really it had nothing to do with anything. What her father had done just a few months ago had left a bitter scar on both of them...leaving like that. They couldn't hardly talk about anything without getting into an argument. Over the months it grew steadily worse, to the point where they would end up blaming each other for what had happened and both would go to their rooms in silent fury. This was the only time her mom had just...left.

Left. Exactly what her father had done.

Talys curled up and let the remaining tears drop as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the world that had been so cruel to her.

Feeling spent, she finally got up and stumbled over to the mirror.

She looked terrible. Her gray eyes were bloodshot and puffy, her light brown hair was messy, matted and hopelessly tangled; her face was blotchy. Little tear droplets hung glistening in her eyelashes. The sight alone of her miserable self was enough to bring the sour emotions boiling up in her again.

She pushed it back down and told herself to count to ten. Calm down, she told herself.

Crashing back onto the bed, Talys closed her eyes and let her sorrow carry her away.

Unexpected drowsiness blotted out everything and further numbed her mind. Her thoughts moved at the speed of an arctic glacier, slow and monotonous.

Eventually, sleep washed over her, taking her into its void.

Talys woke up suddenly.

Nothing seemed to be happening, but then she heard the distant sound of a car pulling into a driveway. She wished she had a watch. All she knew was that she had been asleep for what seemed a considerable amount of time, but it was cold, rainy, and dark outside. 

Is that mom? She wondered. This late?

She looked out of her window, warped with racing streams of rain. The car she had heard was backing into a neighbor's driveway, not hers.

Then where is mom? She should be back by now.

The driveway was empty. Talys tiptoed out of bed and downstairs to her mom's room.

Lifting up a pale hand, Talys slowly creaked the door open and looked around. 

Panic consumed her.

The bedroom was empty.

Adrenaline took over Talys' legs. She bolted up the stairs. She searched every room. None of them held her mom. 

She ran outside, in the pouring rain.

"Mom? Mom! Are you here, mom? MOM!!!" Talys repeated it over and over until her hoarse voice was accompanied by tears that mixed with the night's frigid shower.

And then she thought she heard something-- something that turned her blood to ice.

It sounded like someone screaming.

Her eyes went wide with fear, and not just fear. What Talys felt was beyond fear. It was creeping dread, something you might experience if you happened to realize you were trapped in a room with your worst fear, and spikes were coming out of the walls, which were squeezing in on themselves.

Talys almost stopped breathing. What could she do? Maybe it wasn't who she thought it was. Maybe everything was fine. But no. It couldn't be anyone else. Her mom wasn't in her bedroom, the car was gone, it was far past the time she should have been back, and that car she had previously heard was the only one she had seen on the road since she had first awoken. It all added up. Her heart pounded. This couldn't be happening. Not to her. 

In the far distance, red and blue lights swirled in the darkness. Somebody was in trouble. Talys screwed her eyes shut, tears leaking down her cheeks.

She tried to convince herself that she was just imagining things. It had been a stressful night.

But the tiny spots of multicolored lights in the distance begged to differ.

She stared at the pulsing red and blue swarm, too far away to run to, but close enough to scream misfortune.

Her nails dug into her palms. She screwed her eyes shut, trying to wake up from the nightmare that this had to be.

It couldn't be her. Talys wouldn't believe it. Rain and tears drizzled down her face as all the possibilities ran through her mind. Forcing herself to try to remain calm, she breathed deeply, but the pulsing spasms of her breathing couldn't be helped. 

Another coughing moan rose from her throat.

What can I do? I don't even know if it's her.... I can't just wait!

She thought of going to a neighbor's house, but if her mom wasn't actually in trouble, there would be no point in that. She had to know. Finally, Talys made herself get up and go into the house. She grasped the phone as if her life depended on it. Slowly, she dialed her mom's number.

The phone rang once....twice...she stopped counting, but they seemed to go on for an eternity, the ringing buzz nearly driving her to madness.

After a final soft click, it stopped. Then the phone went dead.

Panicking, Talys pressed the buttons over and over, hoping that it would just turn back on.

But nothing happened. The silence of the night ate at her nerves like a ravenous wolf. 

She ran to her room and practically rammed her face into the window trying to see the police car lights.

They were gone.

She paced back and forth, feeling useless.

It all seemed like a dream; everything seemed blurred. No thoughts passed through her mind, no feelings presented themselves. All Talys could feel was a cold, empty numbness. 

Time seemed to slow to an unbearable crawl as the hurricane of emotions whirled inside her.

She couldn't remember going to her bed, but the soft covers appeared below her.

A fitful sleep came. Visions and reiterations of the night ate away at her consciousness, making everything seem as if it was happening again. The empty bedroom. The detached ghostly sounds of screaming. The flashing lights. 

Her brain warped them and created horrible pictures of the possible terrors that could have occurred in the pools of flowing light from police cars or ambulances.

Talys woke up with a scream as another sickening imagination ripped through her mind. 

They kept on coming, tearing at her happiness, making it seem as if the night would never end.

She threw her head back and forced sleep to return. She could still hear the wailing of police cars created by her mind from what she knew she would have heard had she been there, still picture the silhouettes of crowded figures.

But before she knew it, it was morning.

The sunlight streaming through her room warmed Talys. But it was all in vain. The memories of last night came flooding back like poisonous black water. Talys almost broke down again, but a noise startled her out of her thoughts.

One knock at the door reached Talys' ears. She didn't know what it meant, but a single hopeful thought drove her to find out.

Talys got up and shoved the crumpled heap of blankets away from her. She looked out her window and saw, not who she expected, but a woman in a business suit. A mix of emotions jumped at her at the sight of the stranger. Anguish, of course, but rage, curiosity, and hopefulness churned inside her as well. The feelings could not be explained, and they only tormented Talys further, so she pushed them aside for the time being and crept up to the front door.

As she opened it, a woman looked down at her, a black folder in hand.

Talys met her kind blue eyes. Honey-blond hair was swept up into a swirly bun on her head, pinned neatly. She looked like the kind of person you'd see at a front desk.

Talys snapped out of it. 

"What do you want? Who are you?" Her voice came out wobbly and uncertain. She did not sound like the brave little girl her father used to tell her she was. Her father....

She tried to focus on the woman.

"My name is Ms. Rauld, but you may call me Ellen. I have been assigned to help you."

She looked down with a concerned frown as she continued.

"I offer my condolences, Miss. I have here a report from the hospital on your mother. She is in critical condition, and...well, she doesn't look like she's going to make it. I'm sorry."

Those words seemed to ram into Talys like a wrecking ball.  

She turned away from Ellen's kind eyes that seemed to mock her sorrow and cried into her hands. Deep down she was aware that the eyes were meant to comfort her, but they did exactly the opposite. 

She knew this was how it was going to turn out. Her hopes had been too high. She should've known. But...oh, no. It couldn't be! She would always have a mother to take care of her. The woman had to be lying. To trick her.

"No!" she yelled, spitting on Ellen's round, powder-white face. "You're lying!"

She pounded up the stairs.

It's not true. She just wants money or something. She's lying. Mom's still alive. She has to be! She's lying!

Talys' tears overflowed and splashed the oak wood floor.

She's lying. She's lying. She's lyi--

The door silently swung open behind her, and high-heeled footsteps clacked across the floor.

"GO AWAY!"

"Please, child. I'm here to take care of you. I know this is hard, but you need to calm d--"

"Shut up!"

"Come, child. You're just going through shock. You need to accept it, and move on. It's going to be difficult, I know."

Ellen's voice softened.

"Please. I need you to be calm before you make the next decision. It will affect the rest of your life and I want your head to be clear. I need to get you to a safe place with someone who can take care of you. Your nearest relative is an uncle on your mother's side. I have arranged with him to bring you there, if you so choose. If not, a children's home is available to you."

"You're lying," Talys whimpered.

Her caretaker leaned closer, cupping the girl's chin.

"Please."

Talys pressed her face into her pillow as hard as she could and screamed.

"Go...AWAY!"

"Look at me," Ellen said gently, changing her approach. "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. You just need to make your decision so we can leave and get your things and your house taken care of as soon as possible. "

Talys hiccuped.

A few seconds passed in silence, the woman looking straight at Talys while she cried.

"I--hic--don't b-believe--hic--you," she said as a shuddering breath escaped her.

"Talys," Ellen whispered, finally calling her by name, "I don't want to put you through more pain, but you won't be able to stay here anymore. Your mother is already in a coma, and it is too deep for her to survive. You need to accept these things before you can move on."

"Prove it."

"Talys..."

"I said PROVE IT!"

Ellen shot Talys a stern glare, but fumbled with the papers in her folder until she finally pulled out a freshly printed sheet of paper.

Biting her lip, the woman turned it over and handed it into Talys' tightly clenched hands.

On the top, after yesterday's date, was written:

VIRGINIA MASON HOSPITAL

SEATTLE, WA

EMERGENCY CENTER

Talys shook her head.

"No..."

But it was the most proof anyone could get. Because the only words she could see now were typed in small, capital lettering that seemed big enough to swallow Talys:

NAME OF PATIENT: MAYLYN ELECTA ENDON

And she knew it was not a lie.

For the millionth time that day, Talys cried. She cried until she could barely breathe anymore and her tears would not come out. And the whole time, Ellen was stroking her back helplessly, trying to comfort her in anyway possible, ignoring the now grounded hospital document.

But Talys stared at it as if it were a criminal.

"Who-whoever did this...they will pay."

Ellen pressed her lips into a thin line, eyebrows furrowed.

"We can, if you demand, make a claim, and therefore have a few things payed for and possibly the man put in prison. But I don't see how it would help you. We can do everything in our power, but nothing can give her back to you. But everything will be fine, Talys, I promise."

"Then do ev-everything. And tell that "m-man" that he r-ruined a 14-year ol-old girl's life w-with his m-mistake. I want him to p-pay as much as you can make hi-him pay," she said coldly, ignoring her stutters. 

Ellen said nothing, looking away for a moment.

Then Talys realized something that made her heart ache even more than she had thought was possible. The last conversation with her mom wasn't something like, "I love you" or "good night" even. It had been a fight. Worse were the words that had flown carelessly out of Talys' mouth. It made her feel as if she were responsible for everything that had happened. Maybe she should be the one to pay. If the argument hadn't taken place....everyone would be safe. But no, Talys had to just--

Then Ellen interrupted her thoughts. 

"My dear, don't fret. Everything will be okay. I will be responsible for arranging the selling of the house, and you still have the option to stay with your uncle, Mr. Linden. Of course," her speech halted here, just the slightest bit,"he lives on an island. It is very far away. I'm afraid we will have to take a private helicopter. I will help you pack your belongings, dear, if you make this choice. Don't fret, child. It's okay. But you need to pack your things as soon as you decide. But take everything you need. It won't be here if you come back." 

"What about her funeral? I'm not going? She's my mom," Talys screamed, "SHE'S MY MOM! How dare you just---just--"

Then it was happening again. She cried and it seemed like her throat was being torn apart. Ellen stood back, waiting.

"Dear, you need to calm down. You can't stay long enough for the funeral, I'm sorry. But I need you to make your choice."

Talys knew it was not okay, but she simply said, "I'll go to my uncle's."

The woman nodded and left, shortly returning with a large suitcase. Slowly, Talys gathered her clothes and some other belongings, thinking hard about each one that would carry a memory with it, and Ellen stood outside the door in case she needed her. The piano was what made her heart ache the most. It was her best friend, her only solace. Music kept her going, and without that, she didn't know if she could survive.

Other than that, she didn't have much she wanted to keep. She wondered what she should do. Find something to remember her mother by and, in doing so, remember the fight, or forget years of memories they had had together? As hard as it was, she figured the latter was the best choice. She didn't want to remember. Now, as if a curse had been placed on her, her mother was connected to memories of the argument, and the guilt that weighed down on her because of it. 

But even making that decision, she couldn't bring herself to leave the simple silver ring with her name carved on the inside of it, a gift from her mother, a long time ago. Then she packed up her few things and trudged out to the car. 

Just as she was getting in Ellen's car, a pang of loneliness darted through her, and she ran back inside to look at their family picture one last time. A single tear slid down her cheek as she remembered all the feelings and memories they had shared, and back when everyone was together. Biting her lip, she unzipped her pocket and carefully slid the picture inside, another heavy memory to keep, but that she couldn't desert. She stared at the ground as she walked back to the car and the slightly frustrated caretaker inside it.

Ellen was waiting with the door open, and Talys let her close it after she sunk into the soft, ash-gray chair.

The woman talked to distract Talys from any bad thoughts. 

"As I told you earlier, I will be taking care of your house from now on. You will be accompanied by me to the island, but after that...I will come back here to --well, enough chatter. You have your things. I will see to it that you get there safely."

The distraction didn't work, though Talys was grateful for the effort.

They rode in silence down the rainy streets. The only sound was the hum of the engine, and to Talys, the tempest of pain-filled, regretful thoughts in her head.

Talys tried to break the silence. But all that came out was a few hiccuping sobs, which sounded pretty pathetic.

She pulled herself together, but some of the spasming breaths that accompanied her crying still interrupted her. "Do you think...I c-could stay here, in the city? At l-least somewhere i-in Washington? I d-don't see why I have to g-go all the way o-out there to go to s-some old uncle's musty h-house on a rem-remote island in the mi-middle of n-nowhe--"

Ellen stopped her stuttering words with her own soothing voice.

"Hush, child. Your uncle is a lonely man who has asked that you come if you desired. He will enjoy some company. A sweet little lady such as you would do him quite a bit of good."

With that, their short conversation ended, and Talys fought back the urge to cry. Now frustration was added to her blend of emotions. Who cared about her uncle? What about her? Ellen probably didn't even care. This was her job. Comfort them, get them to a house, leave. Who cared about someone who had just been orphaned!

Talys' frown accompanied the rest of the trip.

After a very long time, maybe a few hours, they arrived at the agency that owned the private helicopter that they would be taking. Talys ignored everything that happened around her. She was numb again, in a sort of trance. Before she knew it they were on the helicopter. And then she fell asleep. It was dreamless, but Talys needed it very much. She slept on through hours of flying, and all too soon she was awoken by a smooth, soft voice. 

"Dear, we have arrived. The pilot is a little pressed for time. You need to wake up. Your luggage is already being brought out." 

Talys was mildly aware of someone shaking her. She cracked her eyes open. Ellen's face hung above her. "Child," Ellen said, "Please, wake up." 

Talys sat up slowly. Unbuckling her seat belt with fumbling hands, she dizzily stood.

Ellen nudged her along and out of the helicopter, where she was handed her bags. 

"I'm sorry I can't introduce you, but I have very pressing matters to attend to. I'm sure your uncle will welcome you warmly. And he is expecting you. I called him before we left."

With that, the woman climbed back into the helicopter. Talys stared, wondering what her life would become now. That lady seemed the last of her old life, and now that life seemed to be officially leaving.

"Goodbye. Take care!" Ellen said as she waved Talys away. The cacophonous sound of helicopter blades deafened Talys, but it faded into the distance, carrying what she had left of her hometown with it.

Setting her jaw, she turned around to take in the sight of the house. 

It was the only house on the island, and the island was so small Talys could see the whole perimeter of it. Gray paint peeled off the walls of the house, and palm trees fluttered in the slight breeze. It looked like a deserted island except for the huge house in the middle of it. Talys felt as if she were being marooned. She had a ridiculous urge to run and dive into the ocean, swimming until she found land. She glanced at the sapphire waters surrounding her for as far as she could see.

That wouldn't solve any of her problems, though, and on the contrary, was likely to make more. So Talys went back to looking at her soon-to-be dwelling. 

The giant house was like a mansion. It was trimmed with white, and looked ancient. Tall, thick beams of wood held it up, for what reason, Talys wasn't sure. The glass windows were dusty and impossible to see through. So Talys went in to observe for herself. The tall beams resulted in her having to climb an excessive amount of stairs, but she eventually reached the door and turned the old-fashioned knob to reveal a large entryway.

A cool, refreshing, scented breeze swept through the house. It seemed dead, except...the light sound of footsteps. 

Standing in the doorway was the source of those footsteps. He was a fairly old man, seemingly in his sixties or so. He looked kind and gentle, with a twinkle to his eyes and gray hairs slowly trying to make their way out on his balding pate. He spoke, and his voice was like a beloved grandfather. It almost helped to cure Talys of her homesickness, her misery, and every other problem that plagued her. But apparently memories couldn't be deleted in the human mind by simply talking in a deep, careful voice.

"Hello. Your name is Talys, correct?"

"Yes," Talys mumbled. Then a little louder, "Yes, I am Talys Endon. You are Mr. Linden?"

Mr. Linden's sweet eyes crinkled at the corners. "Yes. Let me show you around. Welcome to your new home."