Many scars are clearly visible, others can be hidden by clothing, make-up or tattoos; but many others are completely invisible because they are buried deep within our consciousness. We push them down. We bury them with new thoughts and memories. Some of us bury them with self-destructive behaviors such as drinking too much, drugs, over eating, and so many other ways. Too often we are unable to keep them buried and they resurface when we least expect them to. How we deal with those scars when they resurface can have a great effect on us and others around us. Sometimes they can be healed but only with the right combination of solutions.

I impatiently waited for the glass doors to slide open into the emergency room. The phone call from the highway patrol had been so completely unexpected and I had no idea what I was going to encounter once I got to Lisa’s side. All the officer had said was that it was a very bad accident. The glass doors finally slid open and I scurried inside. It must have been the night for accidents as there were quite a few people in the room. Some were sitting in a nearby waiting area, others were just pacing the floor and several were standing at the receptionist’s area. I squeezed my way up to the counter. It seemed to take forever before I was greeted by someone who didn’t even look at me. She was busily typing information into a computer. She glanced up as if I were an inconvenience.

“Lisa Barnes’ room?” I was surprised at how calm my voice was.

Simultaneously someone next to me said, “Brad Collins’ room?”

I turned to see Ashleigh. “What are you doing here?”

“We just brought Dad in for what we think is a heart attack. They wouldn’t let me ride in the ambulance with him. I tried to call you, but it went straight to voice mail.” She began to sob and so I gave her a hug.

“It’ll be okay! Go be with your dad and I’ll come find you as soon as I find out how Lisa’s doing.”

Ashleigh pulled back from the hug and looked at me, “Why is she here?”

“All I know is that she was in a car accident.”

“Oh God!” Ashleigh gasped.

“It’ll be okay.”

Ashleigh and I both turned back to the counter and the receptionist had moved on to other people.

“Excuse me!” I called again.

Finally another gal joined the first.

I asked again, “Lisa Barnes’ room?”

She typed the name into the computer and sharply replied, “Down the hall to the right.”

“I’ll call you as soon as I know something,” I hugged Ashleigh again.

“And I’ll let you know as soon as I know anything about Dad.” She then turned to the girl at the desk and asked for her dad’s room.

I took a deep breath, adjusted my purse strap and began the trek to the unknown.

When I reached the curtained area I took a deep breath and stepped just inside and stood at the foot of Lisa’s bed. She was motionless and plugged into so many wires and monitors I wasn’t sure it was really her. How had this happened? And why me? With all the people she knew, why me? And how did the highway patrol know to call me? I hadn’t spoken to Lisa in over five years.

A nurse or maybe an orderly stepped into the room and handed me a plastic bag filled with Lisa’s personal belongings. Her clothes were missing. I looked up to ask and the orderly explained, “Her clothes were ruined and had to be thrown away.”

“Oh,” I looked down at the bag again and noticed her cell phone. I pulled it out and touched the screen. She had it passcode protected. Of course the screen turned off as I thought carefully and then quickly came back to life when I touched it again. I tapped in the numbers 7-0-1-1 and laughed out loud when it worked.

“All these years and you still use that number!” I smiled. I could also hear the old song playing in my head and it made me smile. I would never be able to forget Matt Winters’ phone number thanks to Tommy Tutone’s “867-5309” and Tami’s obsession with Matt. We must have sung his phone number to that tune a thousand times. It sure brought back a lot of memories. Good and bad.

I looked at the phone’s screen again and the open page said, “ICE Tarandi Linsburg” and my cell number. Again I wondered, “Why me?”

Amazing, after all these years, she still listed me as her emergency contact. I couldn’t help but wonder why not her mom? Or her daughter? Someone closer to her? Then I was struck with the question, “How did the Highway Patrolman that called get into her phone to get this info?”

I marched out to the nurse’s station with the phone in my hand. There was still a crowd around the station, but I didn’t care. I needed answers. “Excuse me? Can you tell me who the highway Patrol officer was that called me?”

The nurse looked up, “What?”

Someone behind me cleared his throat, “That would’ve been me.”

I turned around and found myself face to face with a highway patrolman who looked to be about my age, slightly balding and slightly overweight.

I held out Lisa’s phone. “How did you know the code to her phone?”

He removed his sunglasses and smiled. “Wasn’t that her code to everything?”

“Nick Mathews?” My jaw dropped.

He hugged me and then motioned to a couple of chairs in a nearby waiting area.

“This is certainly a surprise,” I sat on the edge of the blue fake leather chair across from him.

“That’s how I felt when I got to the scene and saw who it was.” He motioned to a nearby coffee vending machine. “Would you like a cup?”

I nodded yes. “Cream and sugar please.”

Neither of us spoke as he waited for two small heavy duty cardboard cups to fill. He handed me one of the cups, took a seat and then sipped from his own. The silence between us was awkward with all the other noise going on around us and I was wondering if I should ask what was on my mind or keep waiting. Finally Nick spoke.

“You know it wasn’t an accident?”

“I don’t know what happened. You just sad it was bad and that I needed to get here.”

Nick was avoiding eye contact and I knew that whatever he needed to tell me was troubling him greatly.

“Look, if Lisa did something just tell me. She hasn’t spoken to me in over five years so there isn’t much I can’t handle. There will be no love lost.”

He took another sip of his coffee. “But you two were inseparable.”

“Apparently it was a one sided friendship and I just didn’t see it sooner. I was a friend of convenience to her and thought she was my best friend.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Nick pushed some out dated magazines aside and sat his empty coffee cup down. “When I first got the call it was for a car speeding on Interstate 77. She flew by me and the radar gun clocked her at 98 mph.”

“Holy cow!” I tried to fathom what she had been thinking.

He nodded hesitantly, “It didn’t take long for her to lose control. She went left off the highway into the center divider first. Then she regained control and swerved back across to the right side where she went through the guard rail rolled down an embankment and finally came to rest in the Tuscarawas River. We were able to get her out fairly quickly but I knew immediately that more than speed had been involved.”

I hated to ask, but needed to know, “What do you mean?”

Apparently Nick didn’t want to have to say it either. He tried to take a sip from his empty coffee cup, looked inside and sighed, “We couldn’t do a tox screen or breath analysis on the scene but the ER physician said her blood alcohol level was .17 and there were enough pain killers in her body that she should have been comatose before she ever got behind the wheel.”

“Do you think she was trying to hurt herself?” My heart ached as if it were being crushed and stabbed at the same time. I knew the answer, but what had happened to make her so desperate this time? Was there a specific moment when it had all fallen apart? Was it sudden? Had it happened over time? Was I there? How had I missed it? Then I chastised myself because I had missed it the first time so why would I think I’d see it this time? Especially since we hadn’t spoken in years.

“You’ve known her longer than any of us, “Nick’s voice brought me back to the moment. “What drove her to it?”

I shrugged, “That’s a very good question. I’ve never fully understood Lisa and probably never will. Do you think she’ll be okay?”

He shrugged, “That’s hard to say.”

A doctor interrupted us, “I’m sorry, but are you here for Lisa Barnes?”

“Yes.” I stood up to face him.

“We’re moving her upstairs to a room where we can better observe her. Her injuries are quite extensive and we feel it will best suit her needs if we keep her here for a few days; just until some of the swelling on her brain goes down. There doesn’t seem to be any signs of other internal injuries, but we are truly concerned about the brain. Further testing will let us know just how extensive her injuries are.”

“I understand,” I actually found a tear running down my cheek.

“Do you happen to know what medications your friend is on?” The doctor pulled a small notepad from his pocket and prepared to write them down.

“Sorry, I have no idea, but I do know the name of her doctor.”

“Wonderful. We can call his office and ask. Do you mind coming with me?”

Nick and I said our goodbyes and he promised to come back and check on me later. I followed the doctor to a little office area and gave him what info I could. There wasn’t much since Lisa never shared that kind of thing with me. The only reason I knew she had been to Dr. Stevens was because mom mentioned seeing her there recently.

I tried not to listen in as the emergency room doctor spoke over the phone with someone at Dr. Stevens’ office about Lisa’s medications, but I learned that she was on a sleeping pill, something to help with anxiety, one for pain, another medication for appetite, and yet another for anemia. When he was finished the doctor thanked me for my help and said I was welcome to stay in Lisa’s room as long as I liked.

“How long do you think she’ll be unconscious?”

“Just until the swelling goes down. It could be a few hours or it could be a few days.”

“Then there really isn’t any point in my sitting there staring at her?”

He sort of laughed, “I guess not.”

Another thought came to me, “Did you happen to work on Brad Collins when he came in? Apparently he had a heart attack?”

I was having a hard time believing that Brad had simply had a heart attack. Especially since it was at the same time Lisa had a car accident.

The doctor looked at me as if I were crazy. “Yes, I did. And how do you know Mr. Collins?”

“That doesn’t matter I just need to know how he is.”

“Well, it appeared to be a heart attack. He was just sent to surgery. When we did some testing we discovered that the heart attack was caused from an extremely large amount of Voltaren in his system. Do you know if he was taking pain medicines on a regular basis?”

“None that I know of,” My head was beginning to swim. “What was the pain medication Lisa is taking?”

The doctor gave me another funny look and then looked at the computer screen where he had just entered her information.

“That’s strange.”

“It’s the same one isn’t it?” I thought I might pass out. I grabbed the arm of the chair to stop the room from spinning.

The doctor turned back to me slowly as if he couldn’t take his eyes off of what he was seeing, “She was on something similar called Diclofenac. It’s basically a generic form of Voltaren, but I thought they were both outlawed here in the states?”

“Are they illegal in Canada?” I asked before I even realized I had.

“I’m not sure,” the doctor was still trying to process this information. “Did Mr. Collins and Ms. Barnes know each other?”

“I didn’t think they were that close anymore, but anything is possible.” I stood to leave.

“Are you okay?” The doctor stood and came around his desk to my side fairly quickly. I must have looked very pale and felt quite wobbly.

“I’ll be fine,” I took a deep breath. “I just have to process all of this and try to figure out what’s really going on.”

“You don’t look fine. Are you sure I can’t call for an orderly and a wheel chair?”

I laughed, “No, seriously. I’ll be fine. I’m just going to go to Lisa’s room and wait. Where did they move her to?

“Upstairs to room 1201,” the doctor reluctantly let go of my arm and watched as I slowly left the office area.

I wondered if I should go check on Brad and Ashleigh but decided he was in good hands and went to the elevator. I stood in the cold silver box waiting for the doors to open on the twelfth floor and tapped my foot nervously. I sighed to myself and still wondered why I was the one here with her. Maybe I was just a glutton for punishment. I had never been able to say no to her for some reason. She had some magical power over me that made me do whatever she wanted. The elevator doors opened and I stepped out. I was shocked to see doctors and nurses scurrying in and out of a room down the hall. Somehow, I knew it was Lisa.

“What’s wrong?” I rushed up to the first caregiver I found.

“She’s going into cardiac arrest,” the young woman spit the words at me and rushed back into the room. I checked the room number and it was 1201.

“Now she’s having a heart attack?” I was shocked.

“What’s going on?” Nick was back and wearing street clothes.

“Lisa is having a heart attack.” I stepped back and watched the staff race in and out. I wondered if her heart attack was caused by the same medicine as Brad’s or if hers was from the trauma of the accident. It was all becoming too much to handle.

“I have to know what she did to him!”

I didn’t realize I had said it aloud until Nick looked at me and asked, ““What makes you think she did something?”

I stopped and glared at him. “One, it’s Brad whom she is very mad at and hasn’t spoken to in quite a while. Two, it’s Lisa and she’s in there because she just tried to kill herself. Do you need a third reason?”

Nick shook his head no and stood with me in silence.

I was letting my emotions take over and didn’t care. This had all gone too far. How could she do this? What had she done to him? How did she get the pain killers into him? Had she been there and that’s what she was racing away from? My imagination was running wild.

“Maybe I’m reading too much into this but what are the chances?” I asked.

“Chances of what?” Nick asked.

“That Brad has a heart attack at the same time Lisa tries to kill herself!”

“Let’s go somewhere else and discuss this,” Nick motioned for me to follow him to the elevator.

I hesitantly followed Nick to the elevator.

“Are you okay?” Nick pushed the button and stepped back to wait.

I was apparently still looking very pale. After a deep sigh I responded, “I don’t have a good feeling about this. Brad has always kept himself in good health. To have a heart attack, and especially on the same night that Lisa tried to kill herself, just seems wrong. I can’t imagine what she could have done to cause it or make it look like one, but it just seems wrong. Then again we’re assuming she tried to kill herself also. Maybe it’s all coincidence. Maybe she’d been out drinking and Brad called because he knew something was wrong. Maybe that’s where she was headed in a hurry and was just too intoxicated to get there safely. Hopefully she comes out of this so we can ask her.”

It was funny how it had been 23 years since we graduated from high school and I was with Nick because of Lisa, but leaving with him made me very nervous. Maybe it was because he was still driving the patrol car and I had never been in one before. Maybe it was because I had no idea how many of our secrets he may have known; but he was willing to help me so I was going to accept his help.

He drove to The Alley which was a pizzeria on one side and a bar on the other. It was THE spot when we were teenagers. After school, after football games, after going to the movies, anytime there was a reason for a group of us to be together we went to The Alley. It was like our second home. Several times we were almost thrown out. I think the only reason Charlie, the manager and owner, did not throw us out was because we were his major source of income. He was lucky if adults ever showed up to eat and not just drink. Sure he could have found someone or someway to get rid of us, but he never did.

I hadn’t been there in years. I guess I felt like I’d outgrown it, but when walked through the doors it all came back as if it had only been a few hours. The overwhelming smell of pizza filled the air and I was compelled to touch the brick walls. They were very warm. My fondest memory of The Alley was going with my brothers after we saw ‘Back to the Future’ the first time and Remi ordered a Pepsi Free and we laughed so hard. The poor waitress had no idea why it was funny. Now, it’s funny to me that Pepsi Free doesn’t even exist. I chuckled at the memory and Nick gave me a sideways glance.

“Just like old times!” I smiled.

“Want to share a pizza?” Nick glanced at the menu.

I shrugged and the waitress appeared at my side, “What can I get you to drink?”

“Pepsi,” Nick was still holding the menu.

I giggled to myself and answered, “Dr. Pepper please.”

“I’ll be right back with those,” she was walking away as she talked.

“I sure hope she isn’t like that all night,” Nick watched her.

“I’ll share a pizza depending on what you like on it,” my menu remained closed on the table in front of me.

“Basically everything but anchovies,” Nick watched for my reaction.

“Sounds awesome,” I smiled.

The waitress sat our drinks in front of us and chomped her gum while waiting to write down our order. Nick told her that we wanted to share a large with everything. She scribbled it down and walked away.

Something in Nick’s demeanor told me he was a little nervous about sitting there with me. He kept glancing around the room and he hardly looked right at me as we made small talk. Suddenly he looked straight at me and said, “You know I used to come in and sit in the corner over there and watch you.”

“Excuse me?” I choked down the Dr. Pepper in my mouth.

“Well, not just you. You, Lisa, Tami and anyone else you were with.”

I laughed. “And all the time Tami had all of us watching you!”

Nick laughed and shook his head, “She sure didn’t hide that she liked Matt did she?”

“You mean the ‘I love Matt Winters’ t-shirts and his name written all over her notebooks wasn’t subtle?”

We both laughed and moved our drinks aside as the waitress delivered our pizza.

“Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days and then there are others when I count my blessings that I don’t have to.”

“You and me both,” Nick lifted a piece of the pizza from the pan to his plate. I watched the cheese stretch and patiently waited to take the spatula from him.

“How did we get to here?” I continued to watch him fight with the gooey, stringy cheese.

“I drove remember?” He laughed.

“That’s not what I meant!” and then lifted a piece to my own plate. “I mean, from those carefree high school days to now. It’s so not how I ever imagined it would turn out; especially today with Lisa trying to take her own life.”

“You truly think it was an attempted suicide?”

I nodded, “It’s not the first time, so yes, it’s possible.”

Nick stopped and stared at me, “She’s tried before?”

I finished the bite in my mouth. “Senior year. She took an entire bottle of aspirin during history class. She claims she couldn’t deal with the pain anymore. When I asked her what she was in pain about she just kept saying I wouldn’t understand. She just kept telling me I should have noticed that she was so depressed. She wanted to know how we never noticed. When I asked her what we hadn’t noticed she said that we should’ve noticed that her grades had declined, that she wasn’t eating and that she had given up all the things she loved. I still think there was something else going on and she just wouldn’t talk about it.”

“Do you stay in touch with Tami?” I got the impression he was changing the subject on purpose.

I shook my head, “I haven’t seen Tami since graduation. I heard she married some guy and moved to Florida.”

“But you were good friends.”

“Define good.”

Nick wrinkled his brow and took a bite.

“Tami was a neighbor and we grew up together, but she never treated me like a friend. I was her scapegoat and her alibi.”

“So why did you spend so much time with her?”

“She didn’t really give me a choice. Looking back I’m not sure why I spent so much time with any of the people I considered to be my friends. And I often wonder if the people I avoided would have actually been better friends if I hadn’t avoided them because of her. Why the sudden interest Tami?”

“Just making small talk and trying to take your mind off of Lisa,” he smiled.

“Look what the cat dragged in!” Bryan Myers didn’t ask to be invited he just took a seat at our table. “It’s like a mini-reunion!” He then helped himself to a slice of our pizza.

“Bryan.” Was all Nick said.

“So, what brings you two in here? Together?” Bryan winked at Nick.

“I’m working a case that involves Tara’s friend.” Nick moved his glass as if he were afraid Bryan would help himself to that too.

I picked mine up and held on to it for a few minutes.

Bryan waved to the waitress and asked her to bring him a Coke. “What’s the case? Anything exciting?”

“Lisa tried to kill herself and possibly Brad Collins.” I sat my glass back down.

“What!?” Bryan was incredulous.

“You can’t go around telling people that!” Nick reprimanded me.

“Okay,” I apologized. “We THINK Lisa tried to kill herself and Brad.”

“Why would she do that?” Bryan thanked the waitress for his drink.

I shrugged, “Same reason she ever did anything. Selfishness.”

“So what does Tami have to do with this?” Bryan had obviously been listening to us before he sat down.

“Just remembering,” I sighed.

“Well, I remember you and your friends weren’t very nice to anyone.”

His words stung. So he felt the same way I did.

“Sorry,” I blushed from the guilt.

“All is forgiven,” Bryan grinned. He still looked like he did in high school only with gray hair. The chiseled chin, molded body and same great smile were all the same.

“How long have you known Lisa?” Nick tried to control the conversation.

“Forever!” I laughed. Meeting Lisa was one of those moments that would be forever stuck in my memory. I shared with Nick and Bryan that I had met Lisa when we were in the third grade. Lisa was the ‘new girl’. Her family had just moved to the area from the south and I was completely fascinated by her accent. Of course for a few days she argued that I was the one that talked funny.

The gang, as we called ourselves, was sitting under the big oak tree at the corner of the playground. It was the usual five of us, Joanne; whom we called Joey, then there was Shara, Tami, Madeleine, and Rover. Joey was the oldest of the gang, by a few weeks, so she typically made the decisions. We followed her around like sheep. Joey was a feisty leader. She didn’t let us bully her around and she never bullied us, it just happened that we listened to her. She was slightly overweight compared to the rest of us and had orange red hair. I thought it was pretty because it was different but she complained about it all the time. Even into high school she would tell me she wished we could trade hair because she would rather have my long curly brown hair.

Shara would get mad at both of us for complaining about our hair. Hers was dark brown and naturally curly; a very unruly curly. The harder she tried the more it got out of control. She usually wore it pulled back in a bun. There was much rejoicing when flat irons were invented.

Then there was Tami a true blond in every sense of the word. Of course as kids we had never heard the term and just thought she was dingy. She giggled a lot and typically didn’t like Joey’s ideas, but would go with it since the rest of us outnumbered her. Even in kindergarten the boys would hang all over her. The rest of us used to tease her that she was going to give us cooties from hanging around with them so much.

Madeleine was blond also, but she was a different kind of dingy. I think Tami’s was a learned behavior because she realized it would get her attention. Maddie, as we called her behind her back, just really seemed to have trouble comprehending life. Some of us speculated that maybe her mother had done drugs or drank too much when Maddie was born.

Last, but not least was Rover; the only boy in the group, who didn’t have cooties of course, who joined us every day. We all treated him like a brother. His short brown hair was always a mess. Most days he had the Alfalfa thing going on with a tuft of hair that just would not stay in place. He didn’t seem to mind. He always smiled and would often be the peace keeper if any of us were arguing.

School had already been in session for several weeks and the game for the day was ‘Colored Eggs’. Joey was playing the mother hen as usual and had already assigned the rest of us our secret color. We were waiting for Rover to attack. Being the only boy willing to hang out with us he always played the part of the wolf. Lisa approached slowly and stood a few steps away watching.

Joey held up her hand and motioned for Rover to wait a minute. She approached the new girl and asked if she wanted to play. Joey quickly explained the game, gave her a color and she joined in. From that day on Lisa was part of the group. It was days before I learned that her name was Lisa and not yellow. Of course Rover refused to tell us his name and it wasn’t until 7th grade when we finally had a class together that I learned his name was John. I couldn’t wait to tell Lisa and was highly disappointed in her response.

“Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you that my mom knows his mom and she told me his name years ago,” Lisa took a bite of her sandwich very nonchalantly.

“Why didn’t you tell me? You know I’ve wondered for years!” I stared at her incredulously.

She shrugged, “I guess I didn’t realize you didn’t know.”

I harrumphed to myself and Nick raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.”

“Just don’t stay there too long, you may not come back,” he smiled.

I laughed, “If I find a happy one, it might be better there!”

“So she was always kind of rude to you too?” Bryan was finishing off our pizza.

“I guess so,” I waved my empty glass at the waiter.

“So why did you hang out with her?” Nick waved his glass too.

“Sometimes, I don’t think we truly pick our friends. I think they pick us and even though I stayed close with Joey, Shara and Madeleine; Lisa was just the one I spent the most time with. Tami was in and out of the group and like I said, she was my neighbor so we spent time together too.”

We really had become a close knit group. It seemed like we did everything together. I don’t know if I had just been a pushover or extremely naïve as a child, but somehow I let Lisa and Tami talk me into all kinds of things. As Nick and Bryan talked I found myself wondering into that Memoryland Nick had warned me to avoid.

The earliest memory that came to mind was of Tami Toniallie. Looking back at my life with Tami all I could remember was that she was always getting me into trouble or nearly getting me into trouble. My earliest memory and I think the day I met Tami we were about four years old. Her parents had come over to visit with my parents and we were in the yard playing. Their house was next door to ours, but we lived in the country and next door was actually about a quarter of a mile away and you couldn’t see the houses because there were trees between us. Tami decided she didn’t like my toys and convinced me to walk with her to her house where we could get some of her toys and bring them back.

A voice in the back of my mind told me it was a bad idea, but she argued that she was older (by two months I would learn in later years) and thus she was wiser. She also told me that her dad had showed her the way several times. So, I followed her through the woods and to her house. We were on our way back with her plastic lawn mower and a wagon when my dad caught up to us. I never heard the end of that one.

In junior high, Tami convinced me to spend the night with her once at her grandmother’s and then talked her sister and I into sneaking out so we could walk to Matt Winters’ house which just happened to be a block away. She tried to get his attention by barking like their pet bulldog and only succeeded in getting his dad to open the door and scream, “Shut up you stupid dog!”

I still don’t know why she was so obsessed with Matt. That obsession started in junior high and I did everything I could to be around him and get to know him just to make her mad. Well, maybe not mad, maybe more jealous. When he ran for student council in 8th grade I volunteered to help hang his posters and pass out badges encouraging fellow classmates to cast their vote for Matt Winters. Since Tami was already in the high school she wasn’t allowed a badge and that made her very jealous. I made sure to wear mine anytime I knew I would be around her. I’m not sure if it was all my help, or because he was popular with a lot of girls, but Matt won the election.

He sat beside me in homeroom and used that time to get to know him. It was hard fighting the urge to tell him that Tami had a huge crush on him. When the election was over, I took my remaining badges and hung them all over my room. My dad was concerned that I was the one that had the crush on him and reminded me that his mom and mine were friends and that there was no way he would ever agree to let me spend time with him that way. I laughed and told him it was simply to spite Tami. He was okay with that. Matt was clueless that my friendship with him was mainly to make Tami jealous. I didn’t see as much of him when I got to high school, but that didn’t stop Tami’s obsession.

Another time Tami and Lisa talked me into having a sleep over at my house.

“We should have a slumber party!” Lisa grabbed her Language Arts book from the top of our locker.

“That might be fun,” I was digging in the bottom for my Science book. The Averlam Junior high was overcrowded and they had paired us three to a locker. It had just been lucky that I was paired to share a locker with Lisa and Tami.

“I was thinking that maybe we could have it at your house?” Tami leaned against a neighboring locker and waited for us.

“My house?” I finally found my book and stood up.

“Yea, it’s bigger and my mom doesn’t want a bunch of us around with my little sister in the house. She’s afraid she won’t sleep and then mom won’t sleep and it will just cause all kinds of problems.” Tami took her turn looking for her book.

“And we can’t do it at my house ‘cause Mom says it’ll disturb Dad’s sleep.” Lisa explained.

“I can ask my mom. When?” I walked with my friends down the hallway.

“Next weekend. We can invite Joey, Maddie and Shara. I’ll bring popcorn and maybe your mom will get us some pizza?”

“I’ll ask that too.”

Lisa and Tami skipped off to class and I was shocked when my parents agreed to let us have a slumber party. I had never had one and didn’t know what I was exactly supposed to do. When I told this to my friends they promised to take care of everything and that they did. I was surprised when girls I didn’t really know showed up. When I asked about Shara, Madeleine and Joey they said they had invited them but for various reasons they were unable to attend, so they had invited some other friends. One of the girls was Traci Thompson. I was so excited to be having more than one friend over at a time that it I didn’t let it bother me. I was annoyed at how much attention Traci wanted to give my brother Dakota. Every chance she got she was inviting him to play games with us. It finally occurred to me that Tami had invited these girls because they liked my brother and I was easy access for them to get to know him. Luckily Dak was better at realizing these things than I was and he asked to leave the house. Mom agreed and he left to go to his friend Makai’s.

Bored with my brother gone someone suggested we play Truth or Dare. We retreated to the basement and sat around in a circle on our sleeping bags. It proved to be rather boring since none of us were old enough to think of truly daring things to do and so we began to just talk.

“Did you hear about John?” Tami loudly whispered.

“What about him?” Trista Thomas leaned closer.

“Apparently, he likes other guys!”

“Ew, gross!” Traci turned up her nose.

“Well, that would explain why he spends so much time with us and not the boys,” Lisa grabbed the bowl of popcorn.

“Are you saying he’s gay?” I asked.

“Duh!” Several of the others laughed at me. Someone threw their pillow and it changed to a pillow fight. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Tami had said. I had never met anyone that liked someone of the same sex before and I wasn’t sure if it bothered me or not. He was still Rover to me. I wanted to know for sure.

When we returned to school the next Monday I went to find the rest of my friends at recess. They were already playing with the jump ropes. I got in line to take my turn at double-dutch. As I went to jump in Joey and Shara stopped twirling.

“Hey!” I looked back and forth between them.

“Go play somewhere else,” Joey was gathering up the jump ropes.

“What did I do?” I was very hurt.

“Go ask your new friends!” Madeleine snapped.

“New friends?” I asked.

“Oh, don’t pretend you don’t know!” Joey growled.

“I don’t!” I couldn’t believe that my friends would turn on me.

“Traci Thompson? Trista Thomas?” Shara had her hands on her hips.

“I didn’t invite them! Lisa and Tami did!”

“And not us?” Joey stood with her arms crossed.

“They said you guys couldn’t come!” I cried.

“No one asked us!” Joey snapped. “And I don’t know what you guys talked about, but someone said something that got Rover in trouble!”

“Trouble?” I asked.

“Yea, he got into a fight with Bryan Myers because Bryan called him a queer,” Shara said it like she was even afraid to say the word.

“Is he?” I was having a hard time trying to figure out what exactly was happening.

“You have to ask!?” Joey stormed away.

The others followed her and I just stood there stunned. Somehow in a matter of minutes I had lost my friends and I wasn’t sure why. So Lisa and Tami had lied to me. Did they make up the story about John too? Was it just a nasty rumor? I really needed someone to talk to but didn’t know who. Instead I wondered over to the oak tree. When I got close I could hear someone on the far side hiding in the corner.

“Go away!” I heard Rover sniffle.

I went to his side and sat down. “I’m sorry.”

He glanced over at me.

“Did you tell everyone I’m gay?” He snapped.

I shook my head no.

“Then who did!?” He demanded.

“Tami was the one telling people that Friday night.”

“She said it wasn’t her!” He was crying pretty hard.

“Then she lied to you. I heard her say it. She should have kept her mouth shut.”

“Darn right she should have!”

We sat without a word for a few minutes and I finally got brave enough to ask, “So is it true?”

He cried harder. “I do like boys.”

I put my arm around him. “So do I! So what.”

“You don’t care?” He wiped his nose on his sleeve.

“Why? Does that make you any different than before? You’re still you are you?”

“Yea.”

“Then so what.”

“But the other guys were making fun of me!”

“John! They make fun of everybody! Look, they’re over there picking on Jerry Collins for his glasses right now!”

He turned to look around the tree and saw a group of guys picking on Jerry. We happened to turn just as they were depantsing Jerry. I covered my eyes and turned back to John.

“You can’t choose how others will treat you, you can only worry about you. So come on! Let’s go play on the swings ‘til the bell rings.” I stood up and brushed the grass and bark from my clothes.

John let me help him up and walked to the swings with me.

“Oh, so now you have a girlfriend!” Bryan laughed.

They had apparently bored with Jerry and stood just far enough away from the swings to avoid being kicked.

“Shut up!” I sat down on a swing.

“What were you two doing behind the tree?” Another boy laughed. “Making out?”

“I said shut up!” I kicked out with my legs and tried to hit one of them. They backed away.

“Yea!” John swung his legs from the swing beside me. “Shut up!”

Just then the bell rang and recess was over. I was relieved to go back to class. Since it was the 1980s we were lectured on ‘Just Say No’ and heard nothing about anti-bullying; maybe that’s why bullying was prevalent and abundant. Although, I don’t think any of us truly realized that it was bullying, it was just the way things were in junior high. We did what we had to do to survive. Becoming a teenager was hard enough. I guess we dealt with all our physical and emotional changes by lashing out at each other. We made a lot of stupid decisions.

But that’s what junior high was all about wasn’t it? We talked too much. We made stupid decisions and everything was funny. Jerry Collins was probably one of the most picked on guys in our class. He was awkward and what others deemed, geeky. He often wore pants that were too short and shirts that were no longer in style. The other boys often picked on Jerry and his way of coping was to be the class clown.

We had English together and he sat right in front of me. He made it very clear that he liked me. I begged to be moved nearly every day and Mrs. Wells insisted I’d be fine. Jerry and the other guys in class were always pushing the limits. Mrs. Wells knew how to deal with them and didn’t let them get away with their antics. She learned that the first day of class when Jerry saw an opportunity to try and make the class laugh.

Mrs. Wells was busy writing our spelling words on the board and we were to copy them down in a notebook and then go home and write them three times each. After every word, and while her back was to the class, Jerry would stand up and hold up and object. Then he would mouth the spelling of the word, such as a pencil. He held it above his head and overly exaggerated the letters, “P -E-N-C-I-L!” Then he would quickly sit back down before she noticed. Or so he thought.

The class was having a hard time not giggling after the third object. Not to be outdone, Mrs. Wells wrote on the board the following spelling words: Boy, front, row, sit down. The entire class burst into laughter.

That stopped him from carrying on too much while she was there, but one day we had a substitute teacher; a young woman who was likely just out of college. It was a school policy that if you didn’t have your homework finished you would sit in the hallway and work on it while the rest of the class went over the answers. Jerry and a group of other guys all told her they hadn’t done their homework just so they could sit in the hallway. The rest of us were busy correcting our papers when the fire alarm sounded. We could hear all the other classrooms running outside. We looked at each other and wondered how real it was. Slowly we began lining up when Chris and Mark ran back in laughing. At that same time Mrs. Lucas came over the P.A. system and let everyone know that it was a false alarm.

The substitute asked where Jerry was and Chris explained that he was in the office. When she asked why Mark told her that they had been goofing off instead of working and that Jerry had run down the hallway yelling, “Donkey Kong!” and grabbed the pole that connected the fire alarms. When he did that, it pulled the alarm. Since he was turning himself in they weren’t in as much trouble as they would have been if they had not said anything. The policy on sitting in the hall to finish our homework changed after that.

The only time someone seemed to be exempt from bullying was when they were the new kid. New kids were rare in our small town and I always felt a little jealous of their popularity and a little bad for them since everyone bombarded them with questions in the beginning. It was hard to know who was a true friend and who just wanted to know the new kid. When Lynene Willis moved to town it was the middle of the school year. She had attended a school in a neighboring town up to that point but her parents had built a new house and it just happened to be closer to the Averlam school district. I thought she was shy at first because she never said much. Then I got to know her. She sat beside me in Homeroom.

Again, this was the 1980s and things were different. The local Gideons often visited the schools and passed out New Testaments. I had been to Vacation Bible School and occasionally attended church with my grandparents, but I had never had my own Bible before. This tiny red book intrigued me. Lynene saw me skimming it over and smiled.

“Cute isn’t it?”

“Yea, but what does it mean ‘with Psalms’?”

She laughed, “This is just a New Testament. The Psalms are part of the Old Testament so they included it for some reason.”

“So this isn’t a complete book?”

She laughed again, “Have you ever read a Bible?”

“No,” I answered hesitantly. I had no real reason why I hadn’t other than I just hadn’t.

“Come to church with me Sunday!” She wrote down the name of the church and time service began and handed it to me. When I got home and asked my parents about it my dad got quite excited. Apparently he had been in college studying to be a pastor when he met my mom. My brothers and I were shocked to discover this bit of news about our parents.

“Why didn’t you finish?” Remi was helping himself to more mashed potatoes.

“Because you came along and I had to make money to feed you instead of spending it on learning,” Dad pushed his empty plate away.

“He thought about going back but then we had you two,” Mom smiled.

I kind of felt guilty. I knew it wasn’t my fault, but my dad had never finished his dream because of us kids. I also wondered why we didn’t attend a church regularly since that was dad’s dream.

“We got busy with life and just stopped going,” Dad explained.

“Maybe this is what we needed to get us back,” Mom smiled and motioned to the New Testament that was sitting beside my plate.

The next Sunday Dad woke us all with a little too much excitement. Mom insisted we eat a big breakfast and checked us to be sure we were wearing what she considered to be our Sunday best. I was embarrassed when we entered the church and all the other kids my age were wearing blue jeans and t-shirts. Remi growled at me, “This is your fault!”

We had been running late and Dad rushed us to a sit in the back pew. The service was a little boring. There was some singing of hymns and since I’d never followed music before it was a struggle to keep my place. Mom kept trying to point out where we were in the hymnal but my eyes were swimming with all the music notes, graph lines and words. The pastor then gave a message and his voice was on the monotone side. I had trouble staying awake. Dad kept reaching over and pinching Remi and Dak who were doodling in the bulletin and giggling. When the service ended Lynene spotted me right away and ran to give me a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here! Are you staying for Sunday school?”

“Are we staying?” I looked at Dad.

An older gentleman was greeting my parents and asked them if they’d like to stay for one of the adult classes so Dad agreed that we could stay.

“Yea!” Lynene grabbed my hand and led me to a room in the church’s basement. There were several kids our age but I only knew one of them. It was a boy named Brigham that had been in a few of my classes over the years. I knew his name, but didn’t really know him. Lynene quickly introduced me to the others. They all attended Carlton schools and thus the reason I had never met any of them. Sunday school was fun. We made sketch art drawings of the praying hands. The teacher then reminded everyone that there was a skating party later that day and Lynene begged me to go with her. My parents agreed and thus began a new friendship.

I almost felt like I was living a double life. I had my school friends throughout the week and then Lynene and the church group on Sundays and sometimes Saturdays. Our Sunday school teacher was a sweet lady named Linda who had gone to school with my mom in their younger days. She was always hosting events for our class. I loved my weekends but it was getting harder to do things with my school friends as I learned that they weren’t always making the best choices.

After the slumber party incident Shara, Joey and Madeleine forgave Lisa and I and our friendship was restored but never the same. They were quick to include Lynene and I was thrilled to share her with them. We tried to convince them to come to church with us, but none of them ever accepted. The friendship bond seem to strengthen when I planned my own slumber party and invited all of them and left Tami out. I felt guilty not inviting her, but I justified it by reminding myself that she had left them out the first time. This began a trend of the six of us getting together nearly every weekend. Yet, we never went to Lisa’s. At the time it never occurred to me that she was avoiding her house for a reason.

Somehow, we survived junior high and went on to high school. Being a small town everything was on one campus. There were three different buildings for elementary, junior high and high school but we shared one play ground area. Even though the high school was just across the street it was like entering a whole new world.

John didn’t come to high school with us. Rumor had it they had moved away. Someone said it was because he couldn’t take the way he’d been outed and that his parents decided to go somewhere else so he could start over. I prayed it wasn’t true and it would be years before I’d know the answer. My other friends were all there, but the different building made me nervous. I had no idea where most of my classes were and hadn’t planned my schedule with my friends so I had very few classes with any of them.

I stood nervously in the back of the room waiting for my name to be called. Instead of the traditional alphabetical seating chart Mrs. Schott was seating us randomly. Lisa stood next to me and we both had our fingers crossed that we would miraculously still be able to sit together. Study hall was held in an old part of the library and we were being seated in groups of four at the tables. Our chances looked pretty good. Finally she called my name and I took my seat across from a guy I had never seen before. He was gorgeous. He had blond hair with slight curls and deep dark brown eyes. I was so busy studying this new guy’s face that I didn’t even notice that Lisa’s name was called next and she was sitting right next to me. Then they called Jerry Collins to the fourth seat. Lisa took one look at me and saw that I was staring at the mystery guy and just grinned.

“Hi,” He grinned and held out his hand, “I’m Brad Collins.”

“Tarandi Linsburg,” I whispered.

“Dak’s sister?” He asked.

I rolled my eyes, “Yes.”

“Tarandi, that’s unusual.”

“You can call me Tara.”

“How’d you get that name?”

“Mom wanted to name me Randi but Dad didn’t like the name Miranda. He liked the name Terri but Mom refused to name me Teresa. So, the smashed them together and came up with Tarandi. Yet, they call me Tara.”

Brad laughed.

“I’m Jerry!” Jerry was sitting beside him, nerdy as usual.

I only barely glanced at Jerry. I couldn’t pull my eyes from Brad.

“He’s my cousin,” Brad motioned with his head toward Jerry.

“Oh,” I finally released his hand. It was very strong. I also got a slightly sick feeling in my stomach. How could someone so beautiful be related to Jerry?

Lisa laughed and offered her own hand, “I’m Lisa. Her sidekick.”

Brad laughed, “What are you? A superhero?”

“What?” I wrinkled my brow in confusion.

“If she’s your sidekick are you a superhero?”

I shook my head profusely, “Oh! No! She just says that ‘cause we tend to do everything together. She’s my best friend. I’m her sidekick every bit as much.”

“Oh,” He smiled again and I melted inside.

Our introductions were interrupted by Mrs. Schott’s finishing of the seating arrangement and then reading of the classroom rules. “There will be no talking! There will be no eating or drinking.” She took a soda can from someone in the corner. “No passing notes.” She intercepted one being passed. “No whispering,” she stopped and glared at Lisa and I. “One person to the restroom at a time!”

“Does that mean one girl and one guy? Or just one person?” Emmie Brink interrupted.

“… And you will raise your hand if you have a question.” Mrs. Schott returned to the front of the room. We were to be studying at all times. There was to be no handheld electronic video games. No talking unless given permission by Mrs. Schott. Her list went on but I lost interest and found myself staring at Brad and wondering why I had never met him before. Averlam was a small school and I thought I knew everyone that attended. Because it was the first day of school, Mrs. Schott explained that for today only we had permission to whisper quietly, but only with those at our own table.

“Any questions?” She searched the room with her eyes.

“Yeah!” Dean Poole leaned his chair back and rested against the wall. “Is this a dictatorship or have we fallen into some bizarre time machine and landed in the 50s?”

Mrs. Schott handed him a demerit. “I guess it’s a dictatorship.”

“What’s this?” He looked at the pink piece of paper.

“It’s for not raising your hand first.”

Dean laughed and shoved the piece of paper into his pocket.

“You won’t think this is a laughing matter when Mr. Smith personally comes to request a visit. And it won’t be a friendly one.”

“This sounds like a tough study hall,” Brad whispered.

“Uh huh,” I nodded in agreement.

Lisa quickly leaned into me and whispered, “You’ve got it bad! Keep staring like that and you’re going to start drooling!”

I wiped my lip to make sure I wasn’t and did my best to avert my eyes away. I just couldn’t. There was something about this guy that held my attention more than anyone ever had. He didn’t seem to notice and if he did, he didn’t seem to mind. I still couldn’t believe he was related to Jerry who had apparently noticed as he was trying very hard to turn my attention to him. “Brad transferred in from Carlton. He lives on the county line and his parents wanted us to try a new school this year.”

“Do you like Averlam?” Brad smiled.

“Yea,” I answered without looking at Jerry.

Lisa laughed and pulled a paperback from her backpack.

Brad grinned again, “Maybe you can show me around?”

“I can do that!” I agreed a little too eagerly.

Brad pulled his schedule from his back pocket and unfolded it. “I have Freshmen Comp next in room 105. Where is that?”

“Just across the hall,” I was trying to read his schedule to see if we had any other classes together. He held it just out of my eye sight.

“Thanks! Where do you go next?”

I had memorized my schedule but at that moment I couldn’t remember any of it. I don’t know that I would have been able to tell you what class I was in at that moment. I fumbled to find my schedule and then recalled that I had placed it neatly in the front of my Trapper Keeper. I was then able to compare classes with Brad and was disappointed to learn that this was the only time I would see him each day, but never had study hall been my favorite class until then.

I was still daydreaming about him when I joined Lisa for lunch.

“You’ve got it bad!” She teased me.

“Leave me alone! I can daydream if I want to!”

“Just don’t leave too long! I can’t handle being here with all the crazies. By the way, what was Traci’s problem this morning? School getting in the way of her life?”

“That and the fact that she was born.”

“Come on! Really, what was her problem?”

I played with the five dollar bill I was holding and muttered, “She was complaining about the upperclassmen being in her way in the band room. I told her to shut up since she’s only a freshman and that just made her more upset.”

“I suppose Tami tried to agree with both of you and made it even worse?”

“Of course. And she once again succeeded in making herself look like an idiot! Speaking of idiots,” I motioned behind Lisa with my eyes.

“Where?” Lisa turned to see Tami quickly approaching.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in homeroom?” Lisa growled.

“I have band during my lunch period so I get to eat during homeroom instead.” She was searching the lunchroom for someone. “Have you seen Matt Winters?”

“Not since fourth period.” I nudged Lisa forward.

Tami grabbed a tray. “He’s in your fourth period class?”

“Yes.” I chose a sandwich.

“You are so lucky!” Tami grabbed a milk carton.

“Lucky you!” Lisa whispered sarcastically in my ear.

Tami handed the lunch lady her money and didn’t wait for change. “Well, let’s go find him!”

Lisa and I begrudgingly followed Tami around the cafeteria until we spotted Matt sitting with his friends. They just happened to be sitting at the other end of the table from Shara and Madeleine. We took seats between them.

“Isn’t he just the cutest?” Tami cooed.

“No,” Lisa and I chorused.

Tami’s eyes remained on Matt and she continued cooing, “His friend Bryan is kind of cute this year too!”

“Is there a guy that isn’t cute to you?” Shara snapped.

“I can think of a few,” Tami absently sipped from her milk as she tried to keep watching Matt.

“Like who?” Lisa struggled to open her milk carton.

Tami thought for a minute, “The only one I can think of is Jerry Collins. He’s kind of creepy.”

I nodded in agreement.

“You mean Tara’s stalker?” Lisa laughed.

“Move over, I’m joining you!” Tami’s best friend Traci squeezed her way into a seat beside Tami.

The kids already sitting there gave us a dirty look and scooted over to make room for us.

“Sorry,” I mouthed to them. They turned their backs to us.

“Jerry likes you?” Tami laughed.

I nodded, “Or so he tells me every chance he gets, but given the chance if he asked you out you’d probably go.”

Tami thought for a minute, “Yeah, probably.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Traci noticed that Madeleine was making a funny face and staring at the small can in her hand.

“I had hoped and prayed that when I got to high school this would stop, but apparently not.” Madeleine slammed the small can of grapefruit juice onto the table.

Lisa grabbed the can and laughed, “It’s the dreaded Donald Duck grapefruit juice!” She then slammed it on to the table.

We each took a turn slamming the can and laughing about how Madeleine’s mom was convinced she needed to drink one every day with her lunch. There was always a stick of Big Red chewing gum in the lunch too to help get rid of the taste of the grapefruit juice.

I suddenly noticed Brad Collins enter the cafeteria and my attention was drawn away from my friends. There was something about the way he walked that made my heart flutter. He wasn’t the best looking guy, but he was far better looking than his cousin, Jerry.

Tami snapped her fingers in front of my face, “Don’t you think so?” She then helped herself to some fries from my tray.

“I’m sorry, think what?”

She laughed, “Guess I’m not the only one caught up in a guy!”

“I’m allowed to stare! At least I’m not obsessing.”

“I don’t obsess!” Tami crossed her arms over her chest.

I pointed to Matt at the other end of the table with my thumb and she smiled.

“So what were you asking me?” I changed the subject.

“Don’t you think we should stack Matt’s locker?”

“Why would we do that?”

“Because we can!” Tami took my tray, despite my protests that I wasn’t finished, and led us into the hallway.

I did my best to give stern looks and announce my protest loudly, “I think this is a bad idea!”

“Ah, come on!” Lisa skipped, “It’ll be fun.”

“Since when do you agree with Tami?”

“Since she decided to stack Matt’s locker!”

“I don’t want to be any part of this!” I stopped walking.

“Then sit and watch!” They pulled my arms.

I finally gave in, “Okay! But if you get caught, I was only passing by.”

Tami and Lisa began to skip down the hall merrily.

“Where you headed?” Traci met us as we turned a corner.

“To stack Matt’s locker!” Tami said in a sing-songy voice.

“Oh! Can I help?”

“Sure,” they linked arms with her and continued skipping down the hall.

I moped along behind a few paces.

“Here it is!” Traci stopped our parade at Matt’s locker.

“It’s locked,” Lisa sighed.

“Like that’s a problem?” Tami chuckled.

I backed away to the other side of the hallway and nervously watched as others walked by.

Once it was clear, Tami held the lock up with her left hand and whacked the bottom of it with her shoe. The lock popped open. “It has two shelves! This is perfect!”

Traci reached around her and grabbed his denim jacket and shoved it onto the top shelf.

Tami was stooped down pulling books out of the bottom and handing them to Traci. “He doesn’t have many books yet.”

“I could have told you that. We haven’t had enough classes yet,” I leaned against the lockers.

“How would you like to do something worse than just stacking his locker?” Tami smiled that devious smile of hers.

“Like what?” Traci was trying to balance the books she had picked up at just the right slant.

Tami looked at Lisa and then Traci, “I was hoping one of you would have an idea.”

“We could take his books?” Traci’s smile was even more devious than Tami’s.

“Wait a minute!” Lisa stepped between the other two.

“You mean put them someplace else?” Tami was puzzled.

“Sort of. Here, take his English book and all of his folders. Take them home and keep them!” Traci ordered.

Lisa backed away from the locker, “No way you guys! You said ‘stack’ not ‘steal’!”

“Fine! Don’t help, but keep your mouth shut!” Traci snapped.

Lisa’s eyes furrowed. “You are going to give them back later aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” Tami was really grinning now.

I stood with my hands on my hips, “When’s maybe?”

Traci grabbed the rest of the books, “Maybe is not a time!”

“I’m not trying to be funny!” I complained.

“Oh, maybe we’ll give them back to him as a graduation present,” Tami laughed.

Lisa was on the verge of hysterics. “You two can get into big trouble for stealing! Do you realize he’ll have to pay for all those?”

“We aren’t stealing them! We’re just borrowing them for a little while, “Tami grinned.

“Yeah, we know. You’re just borrowing them so you can give them back in four years for graduation!” I snapped.

“Yep!” Traci grinned. “And you two better not tell anybody!”

“We’ll think about it!” I yelled at their backs as they disappeared down the hall with Matt’s books.

“Now what’ll we do?” Lisa asked.

“You started this!” I snapped at her.

“Me?” She was incredulous.

I started walking toward my own locker to get ready for the next class.

“You agreed to come and stack his locker.”

“And it probably would have stayed at that if Traci hadn’t come along,” Lisa yanked her own locker open.

“We should’ve stayed and just eaten our lunches,” I went down a few paces to my own locker.

“Should we tell someone?” Lisa grabbed her books and shut the locker door.

“And what proof do we have?” I grabbed my Science book.

Lisa shrugged, “You’re right. Unless someone finds those two with his books it’s our word against theirs.”

“See you later,” I trudged into class.

Matt and his friend, Chris Wyandt, came in just as the bell rang. Both took their seats and the teacher immediately began collecting our homework from the day before.

“Paper Mr. Wyandt?”

“Sorry, I forgot,” Chris smiled.

“Not amused,” Mr. Cager moved on.

“Mr. Winters?” He held his hand out to Matt.

He squirmed in his seat, “I don’t have it.”

“And what’s your excuse?”

“Someone stole it.”

“Why would someone steal your homework?” He tapped his foot impatiently.

“They didn’t steal my homework,” Matt tried to explain.

“You just said they did,” He barely gave him time to say anything else.

“They stole everything out of my locker.”

“Why would someone want to steal everything out of your locker? Did you check the lockers beside yours? It’s only the second week of school. Maybe you got mixed up?”

“I didn’t get mixed up! When I opened my locker it was empty. Not a single book or paper!”

“Do you know anyone who would want to take your books?”

I tried desperately to see Matt’s face for his expression and he made it easy for me by slowly turning and looking at me out of the corner of his eye, “No.”

I let out a sigh of relief and fretted the rest of the class period that he knew it was us and worried about how he might retaliate.

Tami was waiting for me when the bell rang. “Do you ever go to class?”

She laughed, “Yes. So, did he say anything?”

“He told Mr. Cager his books were stolen and when Mr. Cager asked if he knew who did it. Matt turned to look at me and said no.”

“What did you do?” Tami’s voice went up an octave.

“Nothing.”

“Then he knows we did it, but I think we’re safe,” she laughed.

“It’s not funny!” I snapped.

Why didn’t I realize then what my friends would get me into? There were a few times when her hijinks were completely harmless, but they still didn’t make others feel too good.

There was one time when we picked on Nick Mathews so badly he was paranoid for weeks afterward. I always felt guilty, but it still sent me into fits of giggles when I thought about it. Tami, Nick and I rode the same school bus and Nick’s assigned seat was directly across from Tami and I. For a few days he would steal one of our purses and rifle through them. Tami and I were getting quite fed up and then she hatched a plan. She wrote a note supposedly to me about Nick saying how she couldn’t believe he could dress like that. She wrote nasty things about his hair and just anything she could think of that wasn’t specific, but very much making fun of him. Then after we knew he had read that note we sat and just stared at him.

“What?” He asked when he noticed us staring.

“Nothing, “Tami giggled.

I pretended to whisper something in her ear and then pointed at him and giggled again.

“What is it?” He checked his clothes.

“What is what?” Tami chuckled.

“There is something on me that the two of you are laughing at!” He snapped.

“Nope,” I was beginning to really laugh.

“Stop it!” He yelled.

We couldn’t control our laughter. Somehow pretending to laugh made it very funny. Tami and I started laughing so hard we were crying.

“Tell me what’s so funny!” Nick demanded.

We only laughed harder.

“Is it my pants?” He felt around his legs to see if there was something stuck to him.

We shook our heads no and laughed harder.

“Is there something in my pants?” He stood up.

“Maybe you should check?” The bus driver growled.

Tami and I laughed harder still.

“Is it my hat?” Nick patted his ball cap.

We continued to shake our heads no and just kept laughing. We never told him there was nothing, but Nick stopped stealing our purses after that. He did remain paranoid. When he passed me in the hallway he would move to the other side and that too sent me into fits of giggles. While I felt guilty it was still funny to me.