When I was just a little girl 

I rarely got to eat

My clothes were torn and dirty

And my shoes di'nt fit my feet

We lived in poverty and debt,

with times of absent lighting

Cold baths meant shaking cold and wet

To background noise of fighting

My father such an angry man

Mother tiptoed round in Fear

And We kids dared not to rock the boat

Held our breath when he was near

Mum was just a simple thing

No schooling left her dense

She chained smoked like a chimney sweep

And Swore …. so much you easy took offence

There were many times of hiding... too

Behind the sofa … flat to floor

From aggressive men called ‘collectors’

Who thunder banged the door

I found everything confusing

It made no sense at all

From the language they were using

To the endless drama squall

I tried hard to be a good kid

Practiced manners, studied hard

loved the sharing of my learning

To find it tossed out in the yard

So I became a people pleaser

And cooked and cleaned age 8

But that didn’t work well either

He’d chuck the food ….. and smash the plate

Father with his temper, of crazy scary rages

Would shout, punch doors and break our things

Incensed ….. his blow ups ran in stages

Our Mother often copped it with a fairly hefty smacking

We’d hide away, try not to hear

the sound of old brittle bones … when cracking

It wasn’t safe to say a word

Just tolerate, accept, abide

Give No Show of your emotions

Keep those feelings locked inside

But nothing lasts forever

Soon Mother left and ran away

Took my little sister with her

Where she went -she didn't say

Then Twas only 6 months later

When Father too abandoned ship

Took my little brother with him

While I was on a big road trip

I came home to find a completely empty house

Everything I owned was chucked out

A chasm that was quiet as a mouse

Neither of them had wanted me

At only 15 years of age

 I couldn’t work out what id done

Their moods I couldn’t gauge

Feeling lost and lonely .... fearful sad

Thinking  boy I must be really bad

What to do, Now where can I go

Think Pam think, ok I know

Mother always liked that song

Walk tall … and look the world right in the eye

Well That day I grew, and did just that

And I didn't stop to cry

Now that was 40 years ago and

I've done such a lot since then

Worked hard and raised a family

And I began my life again.

There is no greater love my love

Than what I have for you

Its honest, pure and full of joy

Its unconditional too

My heart smiles when I see you

Appreciation fills my soul

The freedom joy and passion

Creeps in and makes me whole

I have so much in life with you

A peace you cannot buy

All this and more I feel for you

In togetherness we lie

I climbed the highest point today 

my body bathed in morning sun 

the rocks, the trees, myself and life 

No separation all the one 

I sit and contemplate my life 

so much beauty here to see 

my legs and feet hang off the edge 

feel energy rising up through me 

I close my eyes and feel the wind 

teasing playing havoc with my hair 

I feel at peace, my soul is love 

And with you all I want to share 

with so much sadness pain and angst 

In a world that's full of fear 

I meditate on peace and love 

for my friends both far and near 

and 

for the rest of humankind 

I send you healing too

my wish is such that I could give 

All you would want for you