I bought my first MacIntosh computer in 1990 and became instantly hooked. Prior to that magic day, I had taken but a single computer course at the University of Alberta and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Let’s see, to print 5 copies type SLS:/printme-?5/prime_rip#atlas-shrugged. Then there was the Mac: Move your mouse to the Print menu and click on it. Thank you God!

After a few years I became the Mac guru of my family, friends, neighbours, and anyone who made the fatal mistake of mentioning in my presence they had a Mac. I wanted everyone to share in my rapture. But then I was hired to tutor my first senior citizen.

“Hi Donald. Let’s get started.”

“Okay, Percy, I’m raring to go.”

“Great. It’s Preston, by the way.”

“What?”

“My name, it’s Preston.”

“I know … that’s what I said. Think I’m an idiot?”

“No! No … I’m sorry. Never mind. So take the mouse and move it to the hard drive icon.”

“Like this?”

“Well, no. You have to put the mouse on the mousepad and slide it. Don’t lift it up onto the monitor.”

“OH! WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE?”

“Okay … sorry. Could you please sit down again? Thanks. Let me show you this time, okay? I’m moving the mouse over to the hard drive icon and now I’m double-clicking to open up a window showing what’s in the hard drive. Now you try, okay?”

“Like this?”

“Uh … no Donald. Like I said before, you shouldn’t pick up the mouse and put it on the monitor. You have to slide it on the mousepad.”

“WELL JUST SHOW ME HOW TO DO IT! THINK I’M AN IDIOT?”

“No … no, Donald. Please calm down. Okay, let’s try something easier?”

“Okay then.”

“Just hold the mouse on the mousepad and slide it.”

“Like this?”

“Yes! Good job! Great, now you’re half way there.”

“But I’m at the edge of the mousepad. There’s nowhere to go.”

“Yes, now lift the mouse off the pad and put it down again in the centre. Then you can keep going in the same direction.”

“You kiddin me?”

“No, really.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, seriously. I’ll show you … like this.”

“Like this?”

“No, you just lifted the mouse and put it on the monitor again Donald. Remember?”

After two hours and the end of our allotted time I thought my head would explode. Donald said how pleased he was and couldn’t wait for our next session. We both suffered through five more lessons, and each week it was like starting over from scratch. But in spite of his lack of progress and constant complaining Donald always seemed happy to see me. Little did he know his most important contribution was to create a much humbler instructor who eventually realized new technology wasn’t the answer to everyone’s prayers. Maybe some people just want a little company.