Hating How Much I Love You


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Love Matthews and Jason Green are worst enemies; at least that is what everybody believes. In reality they have been getting hot and heavy in between the sheets for the past six years with out anyone’s knowledge. How have they managed to keep it a secret for so long...Well that is due to the fact that they can not be in the same room together without screaming at each other and this tends to make family functions between their families a tad awkward. When Love’s brother and Jason’s sister get engaged and their secret is accidentally outed, what will happen and how will their families react. 



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Chapter 1

Watching someone die is never easy. With me it happens once a month, at least. This time I’m frozen and covered in blood as I stare down at the dead teenager. This time it was a hit and run victim, really young, and on her way home from school. Her blonde hair just like mine was covered in blood, her face was now pale, the air tube had been disconnected was now protruding from her mouth.

The doctor announced time of death and people started leaving the room, ready to deal with the next case that made it’s way into the emergency room today. I blinked and quickly left the room and headed to the locker room to change. My pink nursing scrubs are covered in blood it makes me sick seeing the teenager’s blood on me. I could feel vomit rising in my throat, I rush to the bathroom and make it just in time. I hurl and empty my dinner into the toilet bowl.

When I am able to stand I make my way to the mirror and grip the sink with my hands. I look up and look at myself in the mirror for what seems like hours. My shift ends in an hour, and I know I can make it till then if I just ignore my feelings of horror and just get with it. I quickly wash my hands with soap, before fixing my hair and rinsing my mouth of with water.

I change my scrubs and head back out into the hospitals busy halls. I am immediately spotted by a doctor and asked to check on some of their patients.

“Nurse Matthews, how beautiful you look this evening” Old Mr Palmer says as I enter his room. Old Mr Palmer is a regular here at Mersey General, he is the sweetest old man. He has lived on his own since his wife Macy passed away in June last year. He gets lonely and admits himself to hospital for the company. Although we know he isn’t sick, legally we have to check him out before we release him.

“Ah good evening, Mr Palmer” I say with a smile as I grab his chart.

“I mean it dear, you’re to beautiful to be working at this hospital looking after folk like me. How about you come live with me I’ll keep you company” he winks and I laugh before playfully tapping his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t be able to handle you, Mr Palmer” I reply playfully. “Now how is the pain one being no pain at all, and ten being extreme pain”

“Must be eleven because God has sent me an angel” he winks and chuckles.

I shake my head and finish checking his vitals before heading of to check on Dr. James other patients. My shift end and by the time I get to the locker room after talking with my co-workers at the nurses station I see that it is around eight o’clock. I get changed and grab my handbag from my locker. When I check my phone I see I have six missed calls from my best friend, Becca. I call her back as I walk to my car. She answers on the fifth ring.

“Love Matthews, why the hell haven’t you been answering my calls?” she demands.

“I’ve been at work Becca, now what is so important that you called six times?” I ask. I reach my car as she answers my question.

“Nothing I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight Mitch, Jace and I are going to Havoc for drinks it will be fun” she drags the word fun out with a giggle.

I contemplate her offer, after the day I have had I probably should get out and have some fun but the idea of watching her and my brother snog really wasn’t my idea of fun and then adding Jace into the mix well that wouldn’t be fun either.

“You know I’d love to but I’m really tired I want some sleep” well it wasn’t a complete lie. I was tired but I knew there was no way I’d sleep tonight without having nightmares that stared blonde hair and blood.

“Too bad, because I’m at your apartment now and I swear I will cut Mr Tinkle Bear’s nose off if you don’t come out tonight” I gasp loudly and hear her evil laugh through the phone. Mr Tinkle Bear was my best friend before Becca, and I still had him today at age twenty-four. She knew I loved that bear and her threat worked because I let out a sigh and agreed to go out with her tonight. Her squeal of excitement made me laugh and I hung up the phone and pulled my car out of the hospital car park.

Arriving at my apartment I made my way up the flight of stairs. The elevator didn’t work in my apartment complex that was one of the reasons it was so cheap, just one of them there were more. I opened my apartment door and found Becca sitting on my couch with a glass of what appeared to be apple juice in her hand.

“Have you been raiding my fridge?” I ask as I close the door behind me. Her brown curls bounce as she stands up.

Becca is tall and all her hours at the gym pay of since she always looks one hundred precent. I swear she even wakes up looking good. At the moment she is wearing a pair of dark jeans with a red blouse and her lips are coated to match her top. She places the glass on the coffee table before making her way over to me.

“You look tired, Love! I’m sorry you don’t have to come out” she says with a sad expression on her face. I shake my head as the guilt settles in. I swear I don’t know how she does it but every time she manages to get her own way. God help my brother, I seriously don’t know how they have been together for eight years.

“No it’s fine just let me have a shower and get changed okay” I reply and head to my bedroom.

“Yay” she replies.

“Oh and don’t expect me to be nice to Jace!” I call over my shoulder.

“He’s my twin brother, you could at least be nice!” she shouts back. I ignore her and go to pick out my outfit.


Havoc is a bar we go to all the time. The bartender Joe has known us for years and we even have our own booth. To say we are regulars is a massive understatement. We walk in and I wave to Joe who smiles at us when we enter. The familiar smell of beer and nachos fills the air and Becca pulls me through the crowds of people and towards our booth. Jace and Mitch are already there. Mitch is sitting in the booth already and Jace is returning from the bar with drinks. I slide into the booth as Becca flies into Mitch’s arms and they proceed to make out. Both Jace and I curl our noses in disgust.

“Hey Bitch” Jace says he sits in the booth besides me. He touches my cheek and I slap his hand away.

“Eww move you idiot, you cant sit next to me you’ll give me an STD just by breathing on me.” I growl and move as close to the wall as I can to put distance between the two of us. He grins and moves as close as possible to me and leans his face into mine.

“You’d love those lips on yours my co..…” he is cut off by Becca who slaps him around his head. Obviously while Jace and I bickered Mitch and Becca had finished their make out session.

“Don’t be gross Jace! And God can you two just act civil for ten minutes” she pleads. I roll my eyes and Jace scoffs. Like we could be in the same room as each other with out arguing with each other. “Well” she asks.

We both nod and roll our eyes and move away from each other.

“Anyway, so Love how was work?” Mitch asked.

“Alright lost someone today that was tough. Mr Palmer is back in again” I shrug and take a sip of my Jack and Coke. “Anyway what is up with you guys?” I ask Becca and Mitch. Everyone seems to get that I don’t want to talk about my day so instead they tell me stories of what has been happening since I last saw them. I sit there and laugh and am grateful I have these guys to help me forget my horrible day.


I arrive home around half past eleven and I chuck my bag on the couch before taking off my sandals and walking to the fridge and grabbing a glass of juice. I unclip my hair and shake it out and turn on the television and make my way to the couch. Just as I am about to sit down there is a knock on my front door. I sigh and pray to god it is only Mrs Beckett from down the hall asking if I have seen her cat, Daisy. I make my way to the door and open it to find Jace on the other side.

“I’m not in the mood for more arguing, Jace” I say as I open the door wider to let him in.

“Good thing I’m not here to argue then, isn’t it!” he smirks and suddenly his lips are on mine and I grip his shirt tightly and moan into his mouth as his tongue mixes with mine. I pull him closer and her grips my hair tightly and slams the front door closed with his foot. Suddenly I’m pressed against it and have my feet hooked around his waist. I can feel his arousal brushing against my panties and am thankful that I wore a dress out tonight. I throw my head back and this gives him access to my neck. His lips suck on my neck and moan and rub myself against him.

“Bedroom now” I moan.

“No the couch is closer” he replies and carries me in that direction.

“No, I’m not having sex with you on the couch the fabric will give me carpet burns” I say and pull my legs from around his waist and drop to the floor.

“But the couch is closer” he argues.

“The bedroom is that way and you are not getting any unless we are on the bed!” I reply and pull my dress over my head. He groans and pulls me to him.

“Fine but next time it’s on the couch” He says and pulls me towards the bedroom. His shirt and jeans are gone by the time we reach the bed. He throws me onto the bed and then climbs over me and kisses me passionately before heading south with his mouth. Two hours later we are both sweating and trying to catch our breath, as we lie next to each other on my bed both naked and satisfied.

“Well same time next week?” he asks cockily. I slap him on the arm and glare at him.

“Why does this keep happening? This is the last time I swear it!” I say and move to get up. He watches me as I walk across the room naked and bend over to retrieve my robe. I hear him groan and when I turn I find him looking at me lust in his eyes and ready for me again. I pull on the robe and feel glad that I am covered.

“Love, its been going on for eight years I doubt that we are just going to be able to stop. We have sexually chemistry no matter how hard you try and deny it. I say we just give into it!” Jace says. He pulls himself from the bed and moves towards me. I hate that my heart starts to race and my body starts to respond to him. I see him grin as he notices my nipples harden through the thin robe. His hands slid across my ass and pull me against his naked body. I bite back a moan and close my eyes as his teeth graze my earlobe.

“Give in, Love!” he whispers and I do.


I met Jason Green for the first time when I was six years old.  A shiny black car pulled up behind it. I watched as a man and a woman stepped out smiling. The woman was pretty she had curly blond hair and was wearing a flowery sundress the man was tall with dark hair and was wearing a business suit. The woman went to the back door of the car and opened it. Two children stepped out a little girl and a little boy. They both looked around my age and I chucked my Barbie to the side and started to walk over to them.

"Hello" I said smiling widely showing my teeth.

"Hello Sweetie, you must live next door" the woman said.

"My name is Love Matthews!" I said proudly.

"Hello Love, my name is Delinda Green, this is my husband Mark and my two children Jason and Becca!” she said smiling.

"I live in that house" I said pointing towards my house, "Where do you live?" I asked.

"Love Amelia Matthews, where are you" I heard my mother shout.

"I'm here Mama!" I shouted back. Mama came rushing over and knelt down next do me gripping my shoulders.

"I told you not to leave the yard, Love!" she said in a calm voice.

"I'm sorry Mama I was just saying hello." I told her softly. My mother stood up and turned towards the Greens.

"Hi I'm Kira Matthews I'm sorry about Love she's very outgoing" Mama said.

"It's fine, I'm Delinda, we just moved in next door!" she said. They got into a discussion and I remember that I turned to the twins and smiled brightly.

"Hello" I said enthusiastically.

"Do you like Barbie's?" Becca asked. I remember replying with so much enthusiasm and I looked at Jason to see if he agreed. He gave me the oddest look and said:

"Your name is weird and Barbie's suck" and from that day on I hated Jason Green.


Two days later and I am awoken not by my alarm clock but by Becca’s excited squeals. I look at the clock and see that it is just before six am. I groan and sit up and look at Becca who is talking fast and jumping up and down. My brain hasn’t even begun to understand what she’s saying so I interrupt her.

“What the hell, Becca it is five forty five in the morning!” I groan. Eight hours ago I had finished a nineteen hour shift and then had a wild sex marathon afterwards with Jace until about two in the morning so to be woken up three hours later was a screeching woman, well lets just say it is not fun!

"What" I ask while I pull the covers over my face as Becca rips open the blinds.

"I'm getting married, Mitch finally proposed!" she screams jumping on the bed beside me.

"Seriously you wake me up before six in the morning to tell me something that I have a predicted since we were eighteen" I groan.

"Love, sit up now and put a smile on your face because seriously, I'm getting married to the most sexy-"

"Eww gross, my brother, remember!" I interrupt.

"-most loving guy on the whole planet and your my best friend and you have to be excited for me" she whines.

"Fine" I say pulling the covers off myself and reaching over to hug her. Knowing exactly what she wants me to do ,I ask. "So how did he ask you?"

"Oh he was so sweet he looked me right in the eyes as we were connected and I was just on the edge-"

"Oh my god gross, he asked you during sex" I gag jumping off the bed and squealing.

"But Love it was so... there isn't even a word for it. Perfect doesn't even begin to describe it" She giggles whilst staring off into the distance with a dreamy look on her face.

"Ah yuck you're forgetting that he's my brother and my ears shouldn't have to experience that kind of torture." She leaps of the bed and stands up.

"Love, will you be my maid of honour?" she asks, immediately my mood changes.

"Oh my god, yes, yes, yes" I replied jumping up and down and grabbing her and pulling her into a hug. "I'm so happy for you guys"

"Thanks, Love"


“You’ve reach Jason Green, I can’t get to the phone right now so leave a message after the beep!” I get Jace’s voice mail for the fifth time today. I wait for the beep and then leave my message.

"Hey asshole, I've called you like fifty times, where the hell are you! Our mothers are putting on a party tonight to congratulate Becca and Mitch and they want our help. Get your ass over here I am not doing this alone. Oh and were the hell are my purple panties I know you've got them! GIVE THEM BACK" I hang up the phone and shove it in my pocket. I look up to find the guy behind the counter holding my coffee looking at me with a shocked yet lustful gaze.

I haven’t seen Jace since the sex marathon the night before Becca told me she was getting married. That was four days ago, I was feeling sex deprived. Ever since the first time Jace and I had sex we have kept it a pretty regular thing. Not on purpose anyway but we cant be in a room with each other without bickering or ripping each other’s clothes off. Nobody knows about it they all think we hate each other I doubt the idea of a sexual relationship between the two of us has even crossed their minds.

The first time was back when we were sixteen. I being myself usual stupid self had completely forgotten that Becca was away at her aunties and had headed over to Becca's for our usual Saturday night sleepover. I had knocked on the door and been surprised when Jace answered the door since he usually made sure he was staying at friends the nights I stayed over since we refused to get along.

He was wearing nothing but a pair of cotton boxers, his hair was tousled and he looked completely amazing as per usual. He had frowned when he saw me and rudely asked what the hell I was doing there. I being the bitch I am pushed past him and made my way up the wooden stairs towards Becca's room. He followed me telling me that she wasn't here. I checked Becca's bedroom because I didn't trust Jace and when I found it empty, I spun around and slammed straight into his naked torso.

My hands had been on his chest and our faces so close together, making our lips centimetres apart. Jace had moved his hands to my hips and the lust in his eyes was clear. I had slammed my mouth onto his and the next thing I knew we were naked in his bed and wondering what the hell just happened.

After that it happened regularly. We would accidentally touch and next thing, we'd be in the closest room, naked. We still fought like hell and refused to even discuss what was going on between us. The sex was good and that was all that mattered to us.

My phone ringing pulls me out of my thoughts I look at the screen and the word 'Satan' is displayed on the screen. I grin wickedly and answer

"Jace, you got my message?” I ask.

"Yeah, I did Love. Where are you I'll meet you" he asks.

"The Coffee House" I reply. "And hurry up I don't have all day"

"Okay chill I'll be there in a second" he hangs up and I go and stand outside the store away from the entrance. I wait a few minutes and then see Jace round the corner.

"Hey Love!" he says running up to me.

He steps up close and places something in my hand. The lust full look in his eyes distracts me for a few moments. He leans in and moves my hair behind my ear.

"Found them!" he tells me breathlessly. I look down at my hand and gasp.

"Jason" I snap. In my hands are my purple lace panties. In two quick movements I shove the panties into my pocket and I slap the smirk off his face.

Next thing you know we are going at it hot and heavy in the Starbuck's restroom. Shit! 

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