The Forest

 

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Chapter Two

 Everblue  flew into crashing into the long table, pushing all of the breakfast off of it. She slid right into her moms lap, The great deer glared as she smiled innocently.  

“You are late, again Everblue. Turn back into your original form I need to talk to you, and say sorry to chef Uga.” She changed back into her form, quickly this time and started to walk beside the great deer, now looking down in shame

“I wanted to see you at breakfast  today and you weren’t there Everblue, I would’ve been happy with that if you would have come in and just said sorry that your late but you lied and thought I would never know the difference. Your transformation was slower because it was not truthful nor kind.” The great deer was silent for a bit, Then Everblue broke the silence.

“But I have the power of the Wendigo, truth and kindness is a foreign concept to me mother, You made these my instincts, You have no one to blame but yourself.”

Everblue stomped into her room and slammed the door shut. The Great Deer looked at the oak door, she stopped as tears pricked her eyes

This is my fault, it’s all my fault. She thought 

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Sadie Stanley

Quick question on my thing chapter two is BEFORE CHAPTER ONE?????

Oliver

Hello! I found your story through your posts on Fantasy Fiction and Young Adult/Teen Fiction and I enjoy your work, but I would love to give some feedback. One, the sentences are a bit jumbled up, making it a bit hard to read, so I recommend fixing that. Two, punctuation needs to be added at times to help improve the story. Otherwise, you've made a fantastic story that really captivates me! I hope you can also give feedback on my work, I am new to the world of writing and I would LOVE to get some feedback.
See you around, peace!

Chapter One

 “My queen,the guard has caught stealing smugglers in the south hemisphere.” Asmme said running in.

“Send them in Asmme,I will handle this.”

The Great Deer walked down from her throne made from the branches of The Everblue, a magical tree that held all of the tribe’s together. But one day about forty years ago The leader of I the dark tribe, Ranbir. Destroyed the tree and made only one hope for the rest of the forest, for a human with a magical connection to the tree somehow could rebuild it and restore the connection.

“Stop moving and wait until The Great Deer arrives.” Said a guard. 

The Great Deer arrived and took a look at the net that the so-called thief’s were in. “Open it Captain,let me see who they are.” The Captain opened the small net only to reveal a small human child inside.

“This is the thief? A small human child? What did it steal?” She asked. The guard pointed to the jewel she was holding in her tiny little hands, It was a part of the Everblue tree. “Where are its parents Captain Ojas?” 

“We do not know my queen. She seemed to have just appeared by the tree, “Where will it go?”

“She will stay here and I will raise her as my own child, she will learn the ways of all of the tribes but I will give where the gift of the…

Wendigo.”

Asmme and Ojas gasped. Windogos where shapeshifters who would do anything to have power, even betray their own kind such as Ranbir did. 

Asmme yelled out “Are you sure! Like positive? Like cross your heart and hope to die sticking a cupcake in your eye sure?” Ojas joined in “What she said.”

“If the power of the Windigo can be controlled, It can be very powerful and helpful if used correctly.” She said.

The Great Deer continued on with her spell and gave the child the power of the Wendigo, The part of the Everblue turned red and there was no going back.

About fifteen years later.

“Come on catch up Asmme, You're slowing me down!” Everblue ran as fast as she could then turned into a Cougar and sprinted out of sight.

“Everblue come here stop running, You need to get to your palace for breakfast before the sun rises or else The Great Deer will kill me!” Asmme wheezed.

“She’ll never see me! I’ll just turn myself into a Peregrine Falcon and fly in at about two hundred miles per hour and It’ll be smooth sailing.” 

“That’s what they said in Titanic, Everblue!” Asmme yelled out. “Sometimes I wish I could have tried harder to stop your mother when she gave you your power.” She muttered. 

Everblue grabbed the bark charm on her necklace, the brown grain glowed a fluorescent green. A glowing green streak emerged from the charm, wrapping Evergreen's feet, then her knees, her waist, soon her head was submerged in the magic. Her body was in a magical cocoon, quickly, a Peregrine Falcon bursted from the green substance, the green streak flowed back into the necklace.



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Quick Stop

 This is how you say all the names in this book.

Ranbir

RAN-BUR

Asmme 

AH-SEE-MEH

Ojas

OH-JA-S


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Chapter Three

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