Black soul


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​Ashlee snapped back into reality for the second time in the last half hour , her mind kept wondering off to god knows where. This was starting to get tedious and the traffic was really bad today. She cursed knowing taxi was gonna cost a small fortune. Rounding the corner  of her street there was a great commotion, pushing through the crowd she found police everywhere. A  bodybag come out of the house where TJ and Luke lived. Ashlee screamed as she saw TJ led out of the house in handcuffs crying .                                        

"Honestly officer it had nothing to do with me we was attacked."

​"Yes lad as you keep saying". The Officer replied uninterested.

Ashlee looked on in horror she couldn't believe what she was seeing, Luke and TJ had been friends with her since they were little. She couldn't believe TJ would have hurt Luke never mind kill him. Ashlee shed a tear wishing they hadn't  had  that row a few days  ago but if they hadn't would she have been in that house with them today. What happened in there she needed to see T.J. Ashlee panicked had Shannon been in there she couldn't lose Shan as well. She panicked  she had to get home immediately.  Ashlee found it hard to make friends since her parents died in a freak car accident years ago.​​As she ran up the path to her home  Shannon came out bleary eyed "Ash what's all the commotion I'm trying to sleep  I've got a big photo shoot in a few hours and the model is a pain in the arse."                                                            

T.J has been arrested, I think some thing has happened to Luke Shan." She said crying her eyes out.

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David Sidders

Nice start to your story dude, punctuation needs cleaning up mostly. Otherwise a really good setup chapter.

Chapter 1

T.J lay the on the bed in his cell, a white jumpsuit on while forensics went through his clothes. He lay there unable to hold back the tears. He hadn't seen what happened, being pushed down the stairs from behind, his nose broken, but the police still didn't believe him. They would see soon enough that it was his blood and not Luke's. He knew somebody else had been in the house with them, but who or  why they had been there was a mystery. His attacker had killed  his best friend, but he was determined to prove his innocence. He closed his eyes, trying to sleep, maybe he would see things a bit clearer later on. Feeling emotionally drained, after the hours of interrogation by the police, it didn't take long for him to drift off m the days events playing over in his head repeatedly.

Shannon lay on her bed crying Luke was a good friend, and a nice guy, she had really liked him. She looked other to Ashlee who was sat there with a blank expression on her face, she looked so pale.

"Are you ok Ash you don't look so good. "

Ashley just stared at her vacantly. "No Shan... why has this happened ? why would TJ do those horrendous things to Luke ? He treated him like a brother, they did everything together." 

Shannon  just looked out of the window feeling lost.

" I dunno Ash,  I don't get it either... but there is no way TJ did this, I'm sure of it. Like you said they where like brothers, they did everything together. It just doesn't make sense T.J would do this ."

They sat in silence for a long time until  there was a knock at the door they both just looked at each other until they heard a familiar voice.

" Come on girls open up its Lisa."

Ashlee looked at Shannon and shrugged.​"Sorry Lisa we're not really in the mood we've  had some really upsetting  news ." Neither Shannon nor Ashlee really wanted visitors and  explaining  why their upset to anyone especially a busy body like Lisa was too much right now. Everybody who knew Lisa, knew she couldn't  keep a secret and was the biggest gossip to boot. She knew everything about everyone.


Sgt Andrew Johnson wasn't the brightest copper on the force he knew that, but he had plenty of enthusiasm and saw every case through to the end. So when he'd been assigned to this case he knew his work hadn't gone unnoticed. He sat at his desk going through the case files  winching  at the photos of Luke, it was a horrible way  to die, and for his friend to have committed the crime was sickening  to him. When the results came back from forensics he'd  have his case, and would then put it in front if the prosecution service. Just as his train of thought came to an end the phone started to ring.

" Alright it Johnson, what's the results, mmmm, interesting, and that's for definite is it ? Ok, right, I got it cheers."

he put the phone down and run his fingers through his greasy long hair and   scratched  his beard before reaching for the phone again this wasn't a call he was looking forward to.

 " Sir, the forensic results are in and the blood on Terrance Barnes Jr's things are his own DNA Sir. Yes sir, that does mean we have to let him go. We'll have to  re-evaluate the evidence, no Sir, for now he is still the prime suspect, but we may need to entertain the possibility that some one else may have been there. Yes sir i'll get right on it, thank you sir." Putting the phone away he sighed this case had just gotten a lot harder. 

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Chapter 2

Shannon was getting her photography equipment ready, it wouldn't be long before she would be at work, with that horrible model. She looked at her buzzing phone it was a text from Ashlee.

Shannon, just got a phone call from T.J , he's being released pending further investigation. He wants to come and stop at ours. I don't want to be there on my own if   he comes.It will take a couple of hours before he is released. I really hope your finished in time.

 Shannon quickly replied stating that she would try and finish as quick as possible. She put her phone down  and picked up one of the lenses she would be using today when her phone started to ring. Startled she picked it up noticing it was an unknown number, she felt nervous answering it.Finally plucking up the courage to answer it. 

" Hello, yes this is Shannon, yes I know T.J, I'm not sure if he can stay yet Sgt Johnson, i will have to speak with Ashlee first. Yes if she agrees he can stay. Ok Sgt Johnson thank you for understanding ." Shannon put her phone in her pocket and put the rest of her equipment in her bag, grabbed her car keys and left for work.

Shannon couldn't wait to get out of there, she hated working with this particular model. 

"Right, I have enough, i'll get it all finished off on my laptop and send it over to my editor."  

She grabbed the rest of her gear and left. When she got out to her car she realised she had left her keys back in the studio. She cursed , running back in to get her keys, not having long before T.J potentially arrived.

Ashlee was praying that Shannon hurried up back she didn't want to be on her own when TJ turned up just as her train of thought came to a conclusion Shannon's car came into view that beat up old Punto, Ashlee watched Shannon slam her door shut and grab her bags out the boot she knew her friend had had a bad day.

Shannon stormed in and threw her bags on the side

" Is he here yet." she snapped.

Ashlee took a minute before answering " no  are you ok."

Shannon sat there sulking for a minute  "No, I fucking hate working with that bitch. How can someone so horrible live such a nice life and shit happens to nice people like Luke."

Ashlee looked at her friend and wished she could make things better for her friend but she didn't know how. She was about to answer when they both jumped at a knock on the door.  Ashlee got up to answer the door she started to shake a bit with nerves but when she opened the door it was Sgt Johnson " Hello girls,  I just need to make sure its still ok to bring Terrance in and for him to stay here."

Ashlee looked at Shannon guiltily and nodded.

" yes its ok Sgt he is our friend." Shannon grinned.

Sgt Johnson turned and waved to his partner to let T.J out of the car.

"Any trouble or any worries contact me immediately." he said and with that he turned and left.

TJ  cautiously entered the house.

"Which rooms mine." he asked sheepishly.

"You can take the room at the back." Ashlee replied.  

With that T.J went to his room where he stayed they didn't see him the rest of the day.  It was around nine at night when there was loud banging on the door.

" Girls, its Sgt Johnson, are you in there."

Shannon was startled but opened the door "what's going on Sgt I'm trying to work and Ashlee and TJ are in bed."

Sgt Johnson  came in quickly "are you sure hes in bed theres been another murder."






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